The Power Of Fans

Years ago I had a good friend who loved to play tennis. Al wasn't a tennis star. He just loved to play and he especially loved to win! I'm not much of a tennis player myself but my son is pretty good and he enjoyed Al's company.

One day the two of them went off to play a few sets on the town tennis courts. As my son tells the story the sets were split pretty evenly and during the final set the score was tied and kept switching back and forth in favor of one player and then the other.

There was now a group of people waiting to use the court and of course watching the "end" of the game between my son and Al.

It is what Al did next that struck my son and me as both ingenious and funny. He approached the people who were waiting and told them if they wanted the court to be available quickly they needed to cheer wildly every time he got a point.

These "fans" followed his instructions, cheering wildly each time Al made a point and standing silently when my son made a point. Sure enough Al won the game! Now that gives new meaning to "home court advantage". Cheering fans definitely make the team and/or player(s) feel really supported.

I once had the opportunity to listen to a performer who talked about how much better her performance was when she had an audience that she felt was connected with her and was really enjoying her performance.

Support is something we all need in our lives and our careers. How do you insure that you get the support you need? Whether you are looking for a job, hoping to be promoted in your company or are building your own business or law practice, you will need the support of others to insure your success. Constructive feedback is helpful and so is glowing praise. Who does that for you?

For some it may be a mentor that has taken an interest in them. The person provides advice, introductions, and a sounding board for problems and challenges. Good mentors know how to listen well.

Good mentors are hard to find. If you have one, you are very lucky. If you don't, consider hiring a coach to provide that support.

Perhaps you have considered a family member a mentor or coach. I've had clients who relied on their family members for support. People who love you often have an agenda that may be harmful to you and your career. Their agenda isn't a bad one. They want you to be safe and happy. Sometimes lessons are learned that are painful. A family member may want to protect you from the pain.

There are often risks with a career or business that only you can decide about. A person who is good at supporting you can help you to see the risks clearly and help you to determine if it is worth taking.

When my friend got the people on the sidelines to cheer for him, he had to make himself believe that they were really in his corner. Because he loved to win so much (and did win frequently), it wasn't hard for him to do that.

When you select a mentor or a coach, it is very important that you have to respect the person enough that when they do encourage you, you do believe that they know what they are talking about. You also want to believe them when they warn you to proceed with care.

Take Action

1. Make a list of the people in your life that support you. You may have several different people for different areas of your life i.e. career coach, clergy person, parenting therapist etc. Are they people that you respect and who can tell it like it it?

2. Notice the areas in your life that perhaps you have no support. Do you need support there? Is there someone you can ask to support you? If so why not ask them today? If not is there someone you could hire?

3. Negative feedback can be helpful but if someone continually gives you negative feedback, they may not be the best person to help you. Do you have anyone who is always negative? How might you distance yourself from that person? n