There Are Two Sides To Every Story. Let Yours Be The Positive Side.

Divorce is one of the hardest things a person can go through so it’s really easy to push the blame on someone else for why you are going through it in the first place. People always want to deliver a smart alec answer when they are asked why they got divorced – at least I did - especially if the divorce wasn’t their fault. A friend of mine divorced her husband because she found out he preferred batting for the other team. Now that was an entertaining story of how she found out that little tidbit of information. Another friend divorced his wife after the police and FBI came after her since she had been scamming the bank she worked for out of thousands of dollars and she had been living a secret life. Other friends have gotten divorced for the simple act of just growing apart. Whatever your reason is for getting a divorce, you must remember that a judge is going to listen to both sides and make a decision that will affect the rest of your life. This is why documenting your daily events and activities is so important.

When you are documenting events before, during or even after your divorce, you must remember that there actually are two sides to each story…yours and your ex’s.

But there is often a side that is missed….the truth. Human nature often encourages people to elaborate on the truth – to stretch it out a bit and add things that make the story seem more interesting. This is something to watch out for when you are writing in your jou
al.

Document events clearly and with facts. Do not elaborate to make your ex seem worse, or to make yourself seem better. Don’t add things that were heard from the friend of a friend of a friend. Document what you know for a FACT. If you have ACTUAL PROOF that your husband and his secretary went into an adult novelty shop together, then heck yes - document it! It will be even better if you have photos! But if your best friend “thinks” she saw your husband’s car in the parking lot of the local novelty shop and then assumes he was in there, it will backfire on you. Judges want facts.

If your ex cancels on picking up your kids at the last minute; if he moves in with his secretary; if he empties out your bank account; then YES you should document these things.

But this leads to this very important piece of advice…document the bad but also remember to document the good as well. You will want to write down funny things your children say. Write about taking your children to the park to play, going to church events or having their friends spend the night. Take photos of you creating art or cooking together. Simply watching TV on the sofa or playing board games are all good things that should be documented. They show interaction with your children: what you did, where you went, who you were with, and how long you spent with them. In addition, you want to show the judge that you are not just documenting events to bad-mouth your ex. (Even though I know you really want to!)
The bottom line is this: Stay truthful and stay positive. If your ex is truly the bonehead you know he is, you can still keep your mouth shut and people will hear about it anyway through a twisted little thing called the grapevine.