There is a land of bad, inappropriate and totally wrong English. It is called the land of faux pas - make sure that is one land you avoid.

When using the word ‘can’ is a serious faux pas. Can (Part II)
There is a land of bad, inappropriate and totally wrong English. It is called the land of faux pas - make sure that is one land you avoid.

THE IMPACT OF LITERARY ENGLISH ON ENGLISH
This week a so-called senior English teacher wrote to the Singapore press saying that it is perfectly acceptable to use the word ‘can’ in every day English. I responded by wondering what level of English are we at when we use the word ‘can.’ Further I gave examples of what could be better English in certain social situations. There is also literary English – what is literary English? – this is the language used in literature – books, poetry, plays down the centuries. In the media, magazines and newspapers may draw upon literary English in their articles, editorials and columns.

STRONG LANGUAGE
There is a big difference between using the word ‘can’ in the abstract, in daily writing and in literature. Abstract here means an abstract idea – when we are talking about something generally and not asking specifically for someone to do something. Also when you are talking about yourself, it is acceptable to use the word 'can'. For example, I can speak English because you are talking about yourself, and the word ‘can’ is good for emphasis. It is clear, emphatic language – strongly expressive. As the word ‘can’ is considered to be stronger language, that is why it should not be used in social settings. Some people in a position of authority who don’t care about the feelings of the other may use the word 'can'. By the way, a police officer using the word ‘can’ is not a social situation! In literature and the media there is poetic licence - characters may seem to get away with bad manners, but you may not be able to.

THE WORD CAN IS GOOD FOR EMPHASIS
In English culture we talk about polite company. In polite company, there are certain things you don’t do if you want to be socially acceptable. ‘Polite company’ is a collocation to mean when you are among people who are of a reasonable quality and this is how you behave or should behave.

SUGARCOATING
In polite company, you should not use the word ‘can’ to make a request. Some people may say it is acceptable between close friends and family, but may be there would be less break up and less divorce if we sugarcoated our words more and avoided the use of the word ‘can.’ Thus, using the word ‘can’ may be too strong when in polite company and certain social situations. 'Can you open the window’ may be too strong and thus a social faux pas.

THE WORLD OF FAUX PAS
The expression ‘faux pas’ means that you have not behaved in accordance with the accepted social norms (the correct way to behave).

HISTORICAL CHARACTER
We and English are influenced by writers, playwrights and authors who have written great works. Writers such as Shakespeare coined new words, phrases and language. If we want to appreciate them we have to go back in time in terms of understanding their English. Thus we need to also learn historical English too. What characters in books, plays and feature films can do, may not be what we can do in real life!

PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE
Perfectly acceptable is a collocation (words that go together) to mean that it is 100 per cent acceptable to do something.

NOT PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE
The English teacher wrote that it is perfectly acceptable to use the word ‘can’. I hope after reading this posting and the earlier one that you will agree with me that it is not perfectly acceptable to use the word ‘can’ in all situations and I hope you will avoid using the word ‘can’ to make requests in social settings. I don’t think it is perfectly acceptable to use the word ‘can’ in all social situations and most definitely should not be used when in polite company.

My 'can' English lesson from the Ambassador’s wife. What the British High Commissioner’s wife taught me (Part I)

http://abetoday.com/2012/04/09/my-english-lesson-from-the-ambassador%E2%80%99s-wife-what-the-british-high-commissioner%E2%80%99s-wife-taught-me/