Transforming Loss and Grief

There is a tendency in our society to talk about healing loss, like it is a physical wound. It reduces loss to nothing more than an illness to be cured. Our objective is to heal it as quickly as possible and get back to normal.

This approach has failed us in our understanding of loss and made us miss the real nature of loss. It has created a society that is reluctant to express loss and by doing so we heal and keep the loss inside of us, instead of letting it go.

Transformation is the real nature of loss. It shows us that we do not need to heal anything. We can take our loss and change it into something more, something better for ourselves. It means that not only do we let go of our loss but we gain something far greater in return.

We become just like caterpillars entering the cocoon stage. By going into the darkness of our loss and accepting it rather than fighting against it, we can emerge from loss, brighter and lighter than ever before.

Transforming loss means you become aware that life is too short. It is the awareness that life is incredibly precious and we have a responsibility to live fully and die without regrets. Transforming loss means changing fundamental aspects of your life. It means acknowledging and experiencing deep and sometimes painful emotions. It means facing demons and letting them go. It means discovering your hidden dreams about what you really want for your life.

Transforming loss can be uncomfortable. Yet in loss, we are already uncomfortable. So rather than running from it, transforming loss requires that you accept it and explore it. It takes courage. It is far easier to heal loss and continue living as you did before.

There is a tendency for loss to tap into unresolved past painful experiences. If we do not take the time to acknowledge these and let them go, we stay forever trapped by them like the caterpillar on the plants leaf. It also requires us to be brutally honest with ourselves and become aware of behaviour that does not work in our best interests and change it.

By choosing to transform loss you create a statement of intent. A statement that says I deserve the best for myself. Transforming loss can increase happiness and increase health. It can give you the opportunity to find your true purpose and fulfil your wildest dreams.

Ask yourself this. Do you wish to live your life as a caterpillar? Or are you prepared to metamorphosis into a butterfly and experience everything that life truly has to offer?