What do Procrastination, Snow White and Perceived Obsolescence have in common?

OK. You’ve taken the time to examine your life as it is today and discovered the small hidden joy within; the want not should of what you really want to do!
Exciting isn’t it? But after following all the steps and making a plan you still find yourself procrastinating and several of the important steps you planned somehow keep slipping to the bottom of the list. Why oh why can’t you make yourself do them? What keeps stopping you?

As I pondered this question and searched for an answer a light bulb went off when my beautiful little granddaughter and I were indulging in her latest passion ; stepping out in her Snow White Princess costume.

These days when I visit Kenzi she excitedly dawns her costume, approvingly gazes in the mirror at the results and we set out on our adventure. This ritual typically occurs at the 5:00 pm hour as we walk around the block and pass a house where a group of ladies sit on the porch each night and visit. My daughter and I call them “the happy hour ladies” but Kenzi simply refers to them as “the ladies.” She takes absolute delight in walking past this house to show off her costume. We never stop, it is just a wave and to hear the guaranteed chorus of “Oh isn’t she adorable” from them and we continue our journey. Each time she walks confidently in front of the house, smiles and proudly says “hi” and waves her little hand at them as we pass.
Her latest addition to the costume is a headband with long blonde fake hair attached to it. I know, I know, Snow White does not have long blonde hair but that’s part of the beauty of this story. Now it’s evolved into what more she can add to make this character her own version of the beautiful princess; fabulous, right?

As an obsessive and adoring grandmother I anticipate with dread what I know is coming; that first time when she leaves the cocoon of being surrounded by acceptance and applauded for her individuality and is criticized for her originality. That first spirit crushing time when she is told by those she likes and wants acceptance from that she looks silly in her costume or that she doesn’t have the right shoes or jeans or shirt or opinion. Ever notice that this criticism usually comes from one who is afraid to be different?

Where does this come from? How does it grow to be so big permeating our lives even as adults? I have always thought it was simply brainwashing until I stumbled upon the enlightening video, The Story of Stuff by Annie Leonard. I never realized this constant pressure to conform was actually planned. If you haven’t seen this you should watch it, if you have seen it, watch it again. It is loaded with intriguing food for thought but what struck me most was the term “perceived obsolescence” and the author’s reference to the nations declining level of happiness when this was introduced and encouraged as a means of spurring the economy after WWII. (Sounds like a Si- Fi movie doesn’t it?)

What is perceived obsolescence? The short answer according to Annie is the constant changing of the way stuff looks in order to convince us to throw away perfectly good stuff and buy new stuff. How do “they” do that? I think there is a part of us that knows. Of course it’s everywhere but the biggest contributor is television and advertising. What we may not realize is the huge and increasing number of these messages that we expose ourselves to on a daily basis.

So how might we stop this?
To start with turn off the television; that incredible powerful negative feed that is loaded with tactics and messages to make you dissatisfied with what you have, where you live, what you wear and who you are so that you will purchase their latest magic solution to make you right again. Is it any wonder there are so many who cannot seem to figure out what it is that will make them happy and when they do; why they are afraid to pursue it if it doesn’t fit any of the latest stereotypes?

Secondly, stop comparing. One of the main inferences in these messages is to compare yourself or what you have with the latest version of ideal. Comparing yourself, ideas or goals to others only makes you feel insecure, stifles your creativity and lowers your self esteem. Don’t listen! Always remember there is no one else like you; you are unique and that makes you very special.

One of the advantages of being of a certain age is the benefit of hindsight and knowing the many regrets of following the group advice without ever wondering , considering or questioning where it came from and whether it is right for you. When you do find your dream; don’t let anyone change it. Cherish it, nurture it and rediscover that precious powerful unaffected childhood delight of growing it your way.

It’s the journey! Follow your dreams and success will be the likely destination.

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From Deborah Hayes, CTA Life Coach and Mentor to women in transition.