***What Should I Expect from Life?

About twenty years ago, I became incredibly curious about how the second half of one's life can develop. Some of this interest came from observing my family: when I was born, my grandparents were in their early forties, and I was fascinated with choices they made in life. We talked about their professional lives, their interests and hobbies at length, and it was only later in life that I came to fully understand and appreciate the value of the insights they gave me.

When I graduated from college, I spent every free day traveling the world: Italy, France, Germany, the U.K., the Netherlands, India, China, Cambodia, Thailand, Brazil, Costa Rica, and so on. Everywhere I went, I met people who were extremely attractive, both physically and emotionally. They were smiling, joyful, surrounded by others who were drawn to their presence. Even though they had their share of problems – just like the rest of us – they were thriving, vital, fulfilled. I wanted that for myself.

And so I started reading books and articles on psychology. I found out that I was not alone in my pursuit: a renowned psychologist Abraham Maslow studied the teachers whom he particularly admired. Maslow coined the term "self-actualized," which simply means that the person has addressed his or her basic needs and reached full potential. Maslow's ideas were proven by the Gallup World Poll, which conducted a study in 123 countries in 2011. Thanks to this breakthrough study, and many others, we are able to point the way to emotional and financial well-being after 50.

So, what should you expect from life after 50? Susan Krauss Whitbou e, a professor of Psychology at the University of Massachusetts Amherst, tracked a few hundred study participants over a period of almost forty years. Whitbou e's research shows that each of us is going to end up on one of the following life paths:

1. The Meandering Way
A person traveling down the "meandering way" feels lost, lacking direction or a sense of identity. He or she lacks priorities and the clarity that having a clear direction might provide. Quite a few people I met used to be completely invested in their professional life or raising children, and when it came to an end (often through no choice of their own), there was nothing else in their life that was as important.

2. The Downward Slope
Someone on this path might have enjoyed his or her life at some point, but one or two poor decisions send everything in a downward spiral. Sadly, my grandparents suddenly found themselves in this situation in their seventies, when a few bad financial decisions created the extreme stress that triggered health problems. They were never able to recover from the cumulative effect of financial and health troubles, even despite the strong support from the rest of the family.

3. The Straight and Narrow Way
The individuals on this path prefer the life of routine. They take the risk out of the picture, and enjoy the predictability and stability that this entails. One can hardly call it thriving, but they are not really aiming for that. Apparently, living joyfully takes some risks – if only in taking the inner journey to figure out what really makes one truly fulfilled and happy.

4. The Triumphant Trail
For someone who had faced extreme challenges and found the inner resilience necessary to overcome them, this path provides the contentment and satisfaction that comes with developing inner strength. One of the most magnificent examples of someone on this path was one of my Grandmothers. She spent four years in a death camp in Germany during World War II, was starved and tortured; she did not know whether or not her son (my uncle) survived throughout the war (fortunately, he did). Even after having gone through this experience, my Grandmother was kind, content with, and appreciative of life, fun to be around, and always in a good mood. I did not quite appreciate her contentment as a child, but the longer I live, the more I perceive it as truly miraculous.

5. The Authentic Road
I have to admit that creating a satisfying life takes work. Being "in the flow of life" sounds like it should be easy and natural, and yet, from my experience, it takes an effort to get there. If you are willing to take an honest look at your life, figure out the parts that work (and also the ones that don't) and take the risk, and the action to get on your path to joy and fulfillment, you have a chance to accomplish what Maslow called the flowering of your humanity: reaching your full potential. You will be a gift to yourself, your loved ones, and the world.

What path are you on?

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