When Lower Libido is a Symptom Not The Problem

Sometimes what seems like libido dysfunction is simply the lack of desire to get close to the person that you have become distant to. If your relationship is mutually empowering, and you feed each others' sense of self, than physical desireis usually not too far away. But... if the feeling of getting close to your mate has an emotional 'cost' attached to it, than, libido isn't the problem, it's a symptom.

Remember, when people get into a relationship it's more often about, "what can I do to make them happy." Over the years it often changes to, "What can they do to make me happy!". When we rekindle that desire to make our mate happy, it often creates the reciprocal need to act in kind. The actions that signal to your mate that you want them to be happy, often have an aphrodisiac effect.

There are quite a few physical factors that can affect libido. Stress, hormone imbalance, fatigue, etc. That being said, when a relationship starts being a burden, people often compensate by overworking, which can cause the stress and fatigue. Just because there may by a physical trigger, don't mistake the trigger for the bullet! In other words, many libido dysfunctions are symptoms of relational stress rather than the cause.

Examine your relationship honestly and you will know if your lack of sexual desire is merely a means to keep the physical distance that you may be feeling emotionally. If this is the case, than the real problem, the distancing of the two people must be addressed.

Lest this may come across as a talk to women only, there is quite a case to be made for male impotence stemming from a sense of distance that results in “not wanting to go there”. Here the physical mimics the emotional almost literally, as the body 'won't face the other person'.

A crude way of saying this is; bodies that don't communicate, don't copulate. Before you run off to look for a pill, or a medical solution to your diminished sex drive, examine your relationship and see if your body is telling you something that your words won't. If you feel that maybe it is pointing to an underlying problem, then stop seeing libido as a problem, and start looking for a way to open up to each other mentally and emotionally first