Your Relationship Broke Up - What to Do?

Your relationship broke up and you are heart broken. What should you do now to heal the hurt and move on with your life?

First, examine what Not to do. These are things that will make your situation worse.

1. Don't try to get back together. There must be some very strong reasons why you broke up. Unless something very fundamental has changed, those reasons are still true today. Perhaps you were the one to end the relationship. Perhaps it was the other person. Either way, there was cause for the relationship to end. Especially if the other person ended the relationship against your wishes, do not even think of compromising, promising to make changes, or - worst of all - begging to be taken back. Be grateful that an unworkable relationship has ended, and move on with courage and grace.

2. Don't begin to look for another romantic relationship right away. Give yourself a chance to heal. Most important, do not look for another relationship as revenge to your previous partner, or to provoke jealousy in your previous partner. Also, do not look too soon for another romantic relationship because you feel lonely or needy. Use your network of platonic friends - of both genders - to support you when you feel needy or lonely.

These are some of the positive actions you can take to help you to recover from heart break and to move on with your life.

1. Count your blessings. Losing a relationship is far from the end of your world. Have gratitude for all your blessings. Write down everything for which you have to be thankful. List your health, your friends, your family, your home, the food on your table, your church. List at least one hundred things for which to be thankful. Even a person who is sick and homeless has a hundred things for which to be thankful.

2. Keep busy. Keep your mind busy. Keep your body busy. Do more of what you already do. Then add new activities.

3. Develop new interests. Begin aerobic exercise classes if you don't already participate in some form of group exercise. Join a book club. Join a political movement. Do something you have long wanted to do, but never had the initiative to begin - such as learning to play an instrument, or learning a foreign language.

4. Help others. Volunteer at your local food bank, your local Red Cross, your local library, or some other worthy cause. Helping others who are less fortunate than yourself is a great exercise when you are feeling sorry for yourself.

5. Let your friends and family support you. It is natural to withdraw from friends and family when you feel embarrassed by having a "failed" relationship. If some of your friends or family are in fact not supportive, turn to others who do support you. You are likely to be surprised by how supportive most of your friends and family really are.

6. Join a support group if you need even more help. There are many groups in your community standing ready to help you at little or no cost - both religious and non-religious. Don't be ashamed to seek help. Perhaps a specialized support group, such as a group for co-dependents, can help most, or perhaps you just need a group of friendly supportive people to meet with each week.