Bryce Kaye
PhD
Free
Bryce Kaye Quick Facts
- Main Areas
- Marriage and Relationships
- Career Focus
- Author and Marriage Therapist
- Affiliation
- Allied Psychological Services dba Cary Counseling Center
A public biography is not available yet.
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Articles by this expert
SelfGrowth articles and saved writing connected to this expert.
Article
Deciphering the Enigma in Human Relationships & Marriage
I could tell that Frank and Sandy had bee "bad" the moment they entered my office. Perhaps it was their subdued attitude as if they were bearing a heavy secret. It didn't take long for them to confess even though having sex isn't exactly a mortal sin for a married couple. "Um... We broke the rules. We're sorry. We didn't follow the plan." Frank looked at me guiltily and waited for my response. After a slight hesitation, I jumped out of my seat and frowned at them in the ste est countenance I could muster. Then I shook my finger in their faces.
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Due Diligence Responsibilities for a Healthy Marital Relationship
Having seeing thousands of couples in therapy and marriage retreats, I finally decided to create a crib sheet that outlines the most fundamental responsibilities that emotionally balance a long-term relationship. Many people think that a solid marriage involves closeness without anger or friction. But that's not what I observe. Good marriages, the ones that remain passionate over decades, are usually very dynamic. There's conflict but it's very constructive and disciplined. In fact, it serves a very important purpose.
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Beyond Equality in Marriage and Relationships
There is a useful term that one hears relative to investments but is rarely mentioned when discussing relationships. The term is "equity." We more often hear people discuss "equality" in relationships. Unfortunately, equality is not nearly as constructive a concept for guiding a couple to creative solutions. When people discuss equality in a relationship, they usually ignore a basic reality: people are not equal. They are not equal in that needs and desires usually differ.
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Authoring the Colors of Our Own Spirituality
On August 8th, 1999 I received the call from my mother: "Bryce, it's happened." My father had died after his long struggle with bladder cancer. It was hardly unexpected but I still felt profound grief. We had a week to prepare for the funeral but I had been preparing in other ways for at least 30 years. We had shared hunting trips together for decades largely because of my awareness that our time together would be limited. I had thanked him 8 years previously for all of the memories, his love and his support.
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Beautiful Anger in Marriage and Relationships
Anger. Isn't that the emotion that wrecks relationships? Terrifies children? Provokes violence? How can anyone say anything positive about it? For many of us who have grown up in dysfunctional families, trying to appreciate anger may seem like extolling the virtues of migraines.
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Spiritual Transcendence of the Quantum Self
I can recall the moment with utmost clarity even though it occurred nearly 40 years ago when I was 23 years old. I remember how my breathing quickened and my body surged with excitement as the car headlight beams illuminated the huge buck deer standing on its hind legs with its neck stretched up into the apple tree. His antler rack gleamed in the headlight's glare and I agonized that I had no cartridges for the 30-06 rifle in the car trunk. But there was something else that I now consider fascinating albeit shameful. It was the fact that while I stared at that deer, I felt no ambivalence.
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All In The Name of Honesty
How many times has each of us received an emotional wound followed by the justification, "I'm only being honest!" "Honesty" is like other sacrosanct words like "love", "unselfish", and "caring" that have the ability to put people's forebrains to sleep. The mere utterance of the word has the ability to rationalize many behaviors that would otherwise not stand up to close scrutiny. If you are trying to learn how to better defend your privacy and stand up for yourself, then honesty is something you had best get real clear.
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Cultivating Spirituality Without the Baggage of Religion
It starts with a single question. It's a deceptively simple question: Do you want to live a meaningful life? The answer seems ridiculously obvious. You probably think "Yes. Of course." It doesn't require reflection and most people stop their line of thinking right there. But if you ponder the question in much depth then you'll find yourself in a maze of prickly issues. What's the meaning of meaning? How do you evaluate whether your life is meaningful or not? If your life is meaningful then how can you make it even more meaningful? The answers to these questions are not obvious at all.
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Character Traits That Promote Intimacy and Avoid Marriage Problems
Over the past 35 years, I have seen thousands of couples in marriage counseling. I thought it might be interesting to list out the personal traits and values of the most competent partners who do the best at maintaining their relationships. Instead of taking your partner's inventory I would suggest that you take an honest look at yourself. See where you might like to do you future growth. Here's the list:
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The Voyage to Intimacy on a Nautical Marriage Retreat
They called from their remote fishing village in British Columbia. They had been on the precipice of a divorce but had backed away in horror after getting a closer look at all the damage that would have followed. They were willing to try the radical alte ative of a private seven-day sailing odyssey with a psychologist and his wife to various towns along the rivers and sounds of North Carolina. They had found our website and read some of my book before calling us for help.
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The Paradox of Intimacy in a Healthy Marriage
To many of us, the struggle for intimacy may seem just as paradoxical. Most of us want to be intimate, to feel emotionally connected with another. At the same time, we want to be independent and self-sufficient. This conflict and tension is at the core of what it means to be human. To emphasize either need too much over the other is to tilt a person into a dehumanizing disequilibrium. If one only seeks a sense of closeness, one loses a sense of oneself as being loveable in one's own right.
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Our Most Cherished Myths About Love
In working with thousands of couples over the years, I have found certain themes to emerge again and again. Three of the most frequent themes are really myths about the nature of loving. As myths, they can be very destructive to intimacy. They lead to a misguided effort to create the illusion of love while ignoring the experience of love.
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Websites & resources
SelfGrowth-published websites, downloads, and contributor profile websites connected to this expert.
Website
Love Odyssey
A uniquely intimate and private marriage intervention cruise with relationship expert/author Dr. Bryce Kaye and his wife Helen on their pilothouse sailboat.
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Website
Love Odyssey Marriage Retreats
This site describes a totally unique marriage intervention service. A psychologist and his wife perform a couple to couple intervention to save your marriage. It take place during a 7 day sailing odyssey to different ports of call along the rivers and sounds of NC.
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Favorite Quotes & Thoughts from Bryce Kaye
There are ways to build love instead of waiting to fall into it.
Contacting Bryce Kaye
Dr. Bryce Kaye
Allied Psychological Services
875 Walnut St., Suite 220
Cary
NC 27511
Telephone 919 467 1180
Fax 919 467 1712