James Lehman

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Risky Teen Behavior: Can You Trust Your Child Again?

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5 Secrets for Communicating with Teenagers

Does this sound familiar? Your teenage son is taking forever in the bathroom (again), but you need him to get ready so you can get to work on time. You’re thinking, “How could I have raised such an inconsiderate kid? He’s so disrespectful!” Meanwhile, your child is locked in the bathroom, consumed with his image in the mirror. He’s thinking, “No way am I going to school with this pimple on my nose.” Outside in the hallway, you start pounding on the door, yelling at him to hurry up. He screams, “God, you just don’t understand!

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"My Kid Will Never Change." When You've Hit a Wall with Your Child's Behavior

Have you ever listened to parenting advice, all the while thinking, “That won’t work with my child—nothing does. He’s too difficult; no one can get through to him.” If you’ve ever felt this way, stop what you’re doing and read this article. We sat down and talked to James Lehman, who explains how to get through to “hard case” kids—and how to manage their behavior effectively. (The good news?

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Angry Child? Fix the Behavior, Not the Feelings

<img src="http://www.empoweringparents.com/files/articles/photo/bnot_artlice.jpg" ALIGN=LEFT>Many parents make the mistake of assuming that since their child’s behavior is connected to their feelings, fixing the feelings will fix the behavior. Unfortunately, nothing could be further from the truth. It’s critical for parents to understand that processing your child’s feelings while they are happening is not constructive. Children become overwhelmed with emotions, and by the time they’re feeling angry or resentful, you’re already way into a negative situation.

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Is It an Adolescent Phase—or Out-of-Control Behavior?

<img src="http://www.empoweringparents.com/files/articles/photo/adolescentphase1.jpg" align=left>“Every teen goes through this!” You tell yourself these words, but in the back of your mind, you wonder if your child’s disrespect, acting out and destructive behavior really is normal. How do you know if your child is going through an adolescent phase, or if his out-of-control behavior is here to stay? James Lehman has the answer in Part 1 of this 2-part series in Empowering Parents. Why do parents often say, “Oh, it's just a phase; my teenager will grow out of it”?

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"Anger with an Angle": Is Your Child Using Anger to Control You?

Have your child’s angry outbursts worn you down so much that you’ve simply learned to give in? You should know that this is not a phase or a behavior that will “just go away on its own.” Read on to discover 5 things you can do to stop your child from using “Anger with an Angle” today.

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Why the Word “No” Sets off an Oppositional, Defiant Child

Many parents of children with Oppositional Defiant Disorder feel hopeless and alone. They live in homes that become like little prisons as they deal with kids who are absolutely out of control and unmanageable. They don’t like their child any more, even though they still love him or her. And they’re confused about why nothing works. They tell me they feel isolated and lonely because they can’t socialize with other families due to their child’s behavior.

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How to Beat the Back to School Power Struggle

I’ve worked with many parents and children caught up in power struggles in the home—they argued over bedtime, homework, curfew, video game time—you name it, they fought over it. And the more these parents fought with their children, the better at arguing and manipulating situations their children seemed to get. Mothers and fathers came to me exhausted, frustrated and desperate to stop the constant tug-of-war going on in their homes.

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Young Kids Acting Out in School: The Top 3 Issues Parents Worry about Most

<img src="http://www.empoweringparents.com/files/articles/photo/actingout_article.jpg" align="left">If you’re the parent of a young child who acts out at school, you’ve probably asked yourself, “If my child is out of control now, how will I be able to deal with him when he’s ten—or a teenager?” Once a toddler or kindergartner becomes known as a child who “plays too rough” or “always has to have his way,” parents often find that invitations to playdates and birthday parties begin to dry up.

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Out of Control Behavior: Should I Medicate My Child?

The recent death of a four-year-old Massachusetts girl from an overdose of medications for ADHD and bipolar disorder has brought the issue of medicating children for behavior problems to the forefront of public consciousness. While this sad case shows the extreme end of the issue, it reminds us of the fork in the road many parents face daily. We have a behavior problem. Should I medicate my child? The question of medication is a complicated one, and many parents have understandable reservations on medical, moral or spiritual grounds.

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Do You Parent with Your Wallet? Or Know Someone Who Does?

We’re introducing a new monthly feature in Empowering Parents called "Gut Check"—articles that take an up close and honest look at the way we parent our children, ask the tough questions about what’s not effective, and provide real solutions you can use today. This month: how we use money in parenting our kids. Do you parent with your wallet? (Or know someone who does?) What kid doesn’t love it when Mom or Dad spends money on them? When you can afford it, buying things for your children is fun.

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Managing Behavioral Meltdowns and Tantrums

Q: Why do kids have behavioral meltdowns and tantrums? What goes on in a child’s mind that makes him come unglued? James: Kids have meltdowns and temper tantrums for two reasons. The first reason is that they have never learned how to manage or have run out of the tools it takes to manage their feelings in a new situation or event. The second reason they have tantrums is because it’s been successful for them in the past.

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Child Behavior Modification Program

A step-by-step, multi-media program designed to help parents manage challenging behaviors in children and teenagers by America’s leading behavioral therapist, James Lehman.

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