Margo Knox

This is a potted version of my story. I have taught spirituality, meditation and the contemplative arts for many years, having recovered from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, a result of my years working in the field of child welfare. My PTSD and subsequent recovery led me to want to discover many of the “big” questions. Why are we here, what’s it all for etc? And this led me on a journey inward, with much revelation and many ah ha’s, along the way combined with teeth gnashing and thoughts of suicide all thrown together.

My recovery and my joy are one and the same thing, for me a constant gratitude for the love I feel for life, my family, friends and those I encounter daily.
However a few ago I felt the depression returning, it was a little hard to get out of bed and a feeling of pointlessness was overtaking me. I put on a lot of weight and stated to ache in places I didn’t know I had.
My misery, I blamed on the GFC and losing quite a bit of money, and so felt justified with my state of mind.
Then one day I saw that things were changing for me. I was getting older, my body was changing, I discovered that getting a job was no longer a breeze. My hair was grey, and wrinkles were appearing on my face.
But it was much more than that! It felt like I was being asked to move to a new “level” or new phase of life. To embrace a new inward journey of discovery called ageing. And I was stuck with myself; looking at the exte al changes only.

The central idea of this discovery has been the transition we call death and dying. Being ok with and able to discuss in conversation, I think this is central to a contented aging process. Because it is the preparation for this event, the last third of life, I think, is for. There is a natural occurrence to embrace and learn the journey inward as ever more important during these life “role” changes.
I am not asked to do the work of a younger person, but to be a guide to those around me. To encourage on the path of love and gratitude for all that is given.
I have found that recontexualising my past, forgiving my mistakes and living with gratitude has given me the ability to be helpful. The give has become a natural urge. It is a joy to be asked by the younger generations for advice as this gives me the opportunity to step up to my role as an Elder. To talk about my mistakes with humour, and give myself the opportunity of authentic transparency, where both the younger person and myself are offered the opportunity to see beyond the polite well mannered order of things. Exposing the dysfunction as mere folly and therefore learning to “harvest” wisdom from experience.
I now look straight at society’s attitudes to ageing and am able to see clearly if my beliefs follow those of the “decline” mentality or the “life purpose” movement. It has become a lot of fun and an interesting journey. I hope you enjoy and benefit from my work.