Pat LaDouceur
MA Clinical Psychology, PhD Sociology, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist
Free
Help for Anxiety, Worry, and Relationship Stress Expert
Pat LaDouceur Quick Facts
- Main Areas
- Helping People Build Great Relationships
- Career Focus
- Licensed Marriage and Family Counselor, Author, Speaker
- Affiliation
- Private Marriage and Relationship Practice in Albany, CA
Pat LaDouceur, Ph.D., helps middle, high school, and college students study smarter, get better grades, and still have time for friends and fun. As a former credentialed teacher, has taught middle school, high school, and college, so she knows the skills students need to succeed to succeed. Pat's background as a Family Therapist and Neurofeedback practioner, has taught her a lot about learning, executive functioning, and the brain. She is the mother of college-age twins, and provides Academic Life Coaching online and in Berkeley, CA. Pat can be reached at AcademicCoachingWithPat.com or CoachingwithPat@gmail.com
Articles by this expert
SelfGrowth articles and saved writing connected to this expert.
Article
The Science of Love Part I: Calming the Hurricane
I love Rich," Diana told me during our first session. "But I don't know if we can stay together. The arguments we have are too painful. The wounds are too old and deep." "And I love Diana," Rich echoed. "And respect her. But we see the world completely differently. That's just how it is. Maybe we can learn to communicate a little better, but I don't see how the fundamentals are going to change." I knew that it wasn't differences that were pulling Rich and Diana apart. It was the "cycle" they were in, the way they interacted with each other.
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The Trouble With Compromise
Holidays are supposed to be meaningful, relaxing, and connecting, but they’re often stressful. It’s easy to get caught between travel, family obligations, your own wishes, and tricky negotiations with significant others. If you try to do it all and make everyone happy, it can feel like you’re paddling down a river too fast, with no directions and no guide. You end up frazzled and exhausted. Anxiety is a natural response when you take on too much. How do you navigate the events, activities, and the pull of parents and partners?
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Can Neurofeedback Help Musical Performance?
Emilia was a jazz pianist who wanted to break into the Bay Area performing scene. Her roadblock was performance anxiety. A small technical mistake would get her wondering whether anyone in the band, or the audience, noticed the mistake. The resulting physical tension made it harder to play well, and the problem went in circles. . Her technique was solid, she'd been told. Technique is essential, but performance isn't just about technique. Performance is about connection with the audience. But how could Emilia connect when she was worried about whether or not she was measuring up?r
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Anxiety-Free New Year's Resolutions
Anxiety Free New Year’s Resolutions The new year is only a day old, and my client Wendy is looking at her list of resolutions. They’re the things she’s focused on every January for the past three years – more exercise, better eating habits, more accomplishment at work, more patience with her kids. They are worthy goals, but somehow each year they get lost in the rush of activity of everyday life. Her work feels stressful, her family life busy, she has a hard time drifting off to sleep, and she doesn’t have time for downtime.
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Can Neurofeedback Make You Smarter?
Wouldn’t it be great to be able to perform your best when it really matters? Consider these situations: 14-year-old Luis wants to finish his math assignment, but spends all morning in class staring out the window. 13-year-old Kayla loses her homework almost every day. It’s usually at the bottom of her backpack. Madeline wants to start a business, and she has a simple, solid idea. She needs to bring in some income, but when she sits down to work on it, she spaces out.
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5 Ways to Stop an Argument in Less Than a Minute
The trouble with arguments is that they don't work. I'm not talking about a good debate, where you have some great ideas, and they clash, and you start a healthy back-and-forth that feels fun. I mean arguments – where tension starts to rise, responses start to get personal, and you go around in circles without getting anywhere. Often this kind of conflict takes on a life of it's own, where you end up arguing about who does more of the chores or what time you came home last night, while bigger issues like caring, teamwork, and appreciation hide under the surface.
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Fear of Heights – Story of a Rock Climber
Joe was afraid of heights. He could have just avoided heights, as many people do. The trouble was he also loved them. Joe was a rock climber. It’s surprising how many rock climbers are afraid of heights. It takes them longer than other climbers to learn new techniques or get used to new climbs, and tackle harder routes. “It’s scary to be on the edge of stuff,” he told me five years ago. “Even a hill, or a road with a steep drop-off is a problem.”
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How to Say No to People You Care About
“I want to learn how to say No so it doesn’t turn into an argument,” David said. He’d been married about two years, and came to my office asking if I could help him learn to talk with his wife “without getting so upset when we disagree.” “I’m fine doing things her way most of the time,” he said, “but sometimes I feel pretty strongly about what I want. This time it’s about a dog – she wants one and I don’t.”
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Does Worry Wake You Up? 5 Simple Ways to Help When You Can’t Sleep
I can’t sleep,” Shelly said. “I mean, I don’t have much trouble falling asleep. But then I wake up at three in the morning and can’t get back to sleep.” For Shelly, it started with a combination of a fast-paced job and the hormonal changes of pregnancy. While those things started her insomnia problem, it was worry that kept it going. In the wee hours of the morning she was solving problems, rehashing conversations, and making plans. One of her biggest worries was about whether or not she was going to get enough sleep. The cycle was self-perpetuating. A sleep-deprived nation
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Drifting Apart and How to Reconnect
Drifting apart “We’re drifting apart,” Sara said during our first meeting. Her husband, Daniel, agreed. They got along well enough, but lived more like roommates than a married couple. It’s not just couples who drift apart, of course. Friends lose touch, colleagues move on, children forget to write home. The process feels inevitable, and sometimes it is. But much more often there are reasons for the greater distance.
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Antidote to Busy: 5 Simple Ways to Find Time for You
Ely was excited about his new job. He’d spent a year looking, and found what he wanted – interesting work, good pay, friendly people. Perfect, right? But Ely had also increased his responsibility, added a long commute, and decided that he wanted to make a fabulous first impression at work. He also wanted to spend time with his wife of twelve years and his two boys, seven and nine years old.
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The Key to Overcoming Procrastination
Have you ever put off a task that you just didn’t want to do? Procrastination can be frustrating. If this happens just once in awhile, it’s probably not an issue. But if procrastination is a way of managing stressful situations, it’s a real problem. When you procrastinate, things pile up. You end up with long hours and last minute crises. You feel exhausted and frazzled and stressed. In case you were wondering, you’re not alone. A lot of smart people have the same problem. A Dilemma
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Contacting Pat LaDouceur
Read and download complimentary articles on anxiety, stress, and relationship stress at www.Berkeley-Neurofeedback.com