Tim Gray
MA, CADC
Free
Addiction and Recovery Expert
Tim Gray Quick Facts
- Main Areas
- Addictions and Recovery
- Career Focus
- Therapist, Writer
- Affiliation
- STABLE Recovery Blog
Tim has a masters degree in Mental Health Counseling and is a Certified Alcohol and Drug Counselor. He has 20 years of experience working with mental health, addictions, and co-occurring disorders. His experience iincludes working in a variety of setitngs including jail-based substance abuse program, psychiatric hospital "dual diagnosis" program, outpatient clinics, DUI groups.
"I am very passionate about living a balanced, healthy life in recovery since I know the benefits in my life and struggles with additive behaviors."
Gray is currently working on some writing projects in addition to his blog - STABLE Recovery.
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Articles by this expert
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Article
The Danger of Doing Well
Did you know there is danger in doing well in recovery? This comes as a surprise to many people in recovery. So, you are probably wondering how doing well in recovery could possibly lead to problems. Here are some situations for you to consider: Many people stop doing everything the program says to do when they begin to feel they are doing well. The 12 Step program works when people work the program. But, when you stop working the program the program stops working. Some examples include: -Not going to meetings as often.rn-Not going to meetings at all.r
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Talk With Someone About Your Feelings
Learning how to deal with extreme emotions such as anxiety, anger, fear, sadness, and many more, is very important in preventing relapse. Here is an excerpt from my book Handling Stress and Anxiety.
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Fantasies that Lead to Relapse
I have worked with several hundred alcoholics and addicts since 1989 when I first worked in this field. In all that time I have come to the conclusion that one of the most dangerous things that leads to relapse is fantasies of “controlled use.” I have talked with addicts of all shapes and sizes, men, women, all ages, and all races and I have observed a consistent theme with the vast majority.
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What Qualities to Look for in a Sponsor
Here are some qualities to look for in a sponsor. I have set the standard high since this is a very important relationship for you and your recovery. You may not be able to find someone with all the qualities I suggest due to many factors including the size of your town, number of people who attend your meetings and others. So, like I said I am setting the standard high due to the importance of a sponsor—you want the best person to help you, don’t you? But, you may not be able to find someone exactly fitting my suggestions. Don’t worry too much about that.
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Are You Addicted?
As a substance abuse counselor I have worked with many clients who were on the fence about their addiction. They would have some issues in their life that made then think they were addicted but they would also have some reasons why they couldn't be addicted. I have found it helpful to explore various ways to help them get off the fence and let go of any possibility that they might not be addicted. Denial is expected in alcoholics and addicts. I have met many Jack Whinery, homesteader, repairing fence whi...professionals that complained about a client in denial.
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10 Common Dangers in Recovery
Here are ten common situations that are very dangerous to a person in recovery. Recognizing these dangers will help you avoid a possible problem in the future.
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Four Ways We Justify Use
I am going to share 4 defense mechanisms that are frequently used by people in addiction to justify or substantiate their drug or alcohol use. I’m sure you have heard of some of these—you might have even heard of all of them. I hope to share some insights you may not have considered before.
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Check List – 9 Things that Lead to Relapse
Relapse prevention is an ongoing requirement to maintain recovery. Some will say that you will get to a place in recovery where you don’t need to “work at it” anymore—that it becomes automatic. I have known a few people who seemed to put down their drug or behavior of choice—what they were addicted to and they didn’t appear to struggle with addiction again. But, that is not my experience with addiction. I have worked with hundreds of alcoholics and addicts over the years who also were not able to “put it down” so easily.
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Work the Program
I think one of the main reasons people relapse is they stop working their program of recovery. In my years as an addictions counselor I have heard it over and over again when I ask what led up to a relapse…”I quit working the program.” There are many ways you can quit working the program. We are all different and what leads to relapse might be different. At least, the details are different, but, there are some definite consistent themes. I am going to list them here. See if you can relate to any of these.
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Tactics Used by Addicted People to Avoid Accountability 1
There are many ways people with addictions avoid accountability. Here is the first of several articles discussing these tactics. These tactics are what addicts and alcoholics use to to take the focus off them and continue doing what their addiction wants them to do. These tactics are used by our addiction to keep us trapped and a slave to substances and behaviors that are ruining our lives. We must learn about them and how to stop using them. If you recognize something in yourself in these tactics then you can learn how to stop using them to avoid accountability.
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Tactics Used by Addicted People to Avoid Accountability 2
This is the second post in the series of tactics used by addicts and alcoholics to avoid accountability. Accountability is necessary for all of us. People in recovery need to do everything in their power to remain accountable—this will help them deal with temptations and triggers when they come up. Continuing where we left off at number 4.
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What to Do About Tactics to Avoid Accountability
I started this article as a reply to a question related to these two articles: * Tactics Used to Avoid Accountability 1 * Tactics Used to Avoid Accountability 2 There are more tactics coming in the near future. Here is the Question. "So when we notice these things in a loved one or friend, what is the best way to approach it?" That is a great question that probably has a million different answers since even though addicts and alcoholics share a lot of similar behaviors, we are all unique in some ways that will change how you should approach them.
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Favorite Quotes & Thoughts from Tim Gray
- Keep it simple means do what the program says—work the 12 Steps, get a sponsor, read the Big Book and other literature, go to meetings.
- The AA program and other 12 Step programs are a design for living as evidenced by millions of people since it began. They are a way to live in freedom and hopefully have a better quality of life--better relationships, better health, basically, better everything.
- In the journey of recovery I believe the 12 Steps and the program of AA and NA are the map that will lead you to a successful end. When you plug into the program you will find help and support for those difficult bumps in the road.
Contacting Tim Gray
How to get started
Visit STABLE Recovery blog at http://STABLERecovery.com
You can also send an email to tim@STABLERecovery.com