3 Essential Guidelines for Better Communication With Your Partner
Legacy signals
Legacy popularity: 1,690 legacy views
- Give Feedback -- When you give feedback, be as specific as possible. The most effective feedback is given in a constructive manner, instead of in such a way as to cause your partner to react defensively. It's based on observations--not judgment. The fact is that your partner may be unaware of behavior that you find annoying or hard to live with. By helping your partner to recognize your feelings about that behavior, rather than merely attacking it, you will go much further toward resolving the source of upset or conflict. For example, the difference between saying, "I don't like you when you're angry" and, "I don't like the way I feel [or it feels] when you are hostile toward me" is huge. The first is an attack on your partner; the second is an expression of your own feelings.
- Communicate Assertively -- That is where your feelings are expressed in words, but without threatening, putting down, or overpowering your partner. It's particularly important not only to share, but to take responsibility for your feelings. When communicating assertively, make "I" statements. Instead of saying, "You never listen to me," try saying, "I wish that you were more responsive when I talk to you about things that are important to me." By making "I" statements, you do much to reduce the chance that your partner will feel attacked and react defensively, with the result being merely an argument that in the end resolves nothing.
- Fact or Feeling -- While feelings are not absolute facts; they do factually describe what's going on inside you or your partner. Our feelings are our own realities. By acknowledging and reacting sensitively to your partner's feelings, you have the power to make a dramatic shift in the emotional climate that exists between the two of you. Acknowledging your partner's feelings is not to be confused with giving in. Think of it as simply a way of understanding a reality that exists between you, which needs to be dealt with for the long-term health of your relationship.
Article author
About the Author
Michael S. Broder, Ph.D. is a renowned psychologist, executive coach, bestselling author, continuing education seminar leader, and popular speaker. He is an acclaimed expert in cognitive behavioral therapy, specializing in high achievers and relationship issues. His work centers on bringing about major change in the shortest time possible.
His latest book, Stage Climbing: The Shortest Path to Your Highest Potential, has received much praise from such notables as Deepak Chopra, Steve Covey, Mark Victor Hanson and many other professionals; citing it’s groundbreaking and user friendly cognitive behavioral self-help approach.
A sought-after media guest, he has appeared on Oprah and The Today Show as well as making more than a thousand other TV and radio guest appearances. For many years, Dr. Broder also hosted the radio program Psychologically Speaking with Dr Michael Broder. He has been featured in the New York Times, the Wall Street journal, Time, Newsweek, and hundreds of other publications.
Further reading
Further Reading
Article
Live A Happy Married Life by Resolving Conflicts in Marriage
Param Pujya Dadashri and Hirabaâs married life was full of peace, mutual respect and humility. Their worldly conduct and interactions were idyllic, so much so that family and friends noticed their unity and love for each other. For instance, Hiraba would visit the local vegetable market daily, she would ask Param Pujya Dadashri, âWhat vegetables should I buy?â Thus, performing her duty of asking and He would reply, âBuy whatever you would like, therefore fulfilling Hi
April 3, 2025
Article
A Look at Avoidant Attachment Styles and How They Work
The early development of avoidant attachment creates a coping mechanism that forms in childhood. Disconnected parent-child interactions typically trigger this condition. People who develop this attachment style learn to depend on their resources. They avoid deep emotional connections. People with this attachment style want intimacy, yet they remain afraid of becoming dependent on others. Understanding Avoidant Attachment Among the four primary attachment styles, avoidant atta
February 6, 2025
Article
Do You Really Understand The Swinger Life-Style?
So, you want to Play swinging? Do you like the idea of having sex with several attractive people, with no strings attached? Want the chance to explore your fantasies with like-minded people? Love having the intimacy and long-term commitment of your partner, but don't want to miss out on the opportunity for sexual exploration and variety? If this sounds like something you'd like to try, the increasingly popular lifestyle known as 'swinging' could be for you. What's so shocking
August 29, 2024
Article
Best Swinger Websites for Couples Looking for Local Swingers
Even if you don't have a swing club near you, the online swinger dating website is a good choice for you. In recent years, online dating sites have become increasingly popular, and swinging has become one of the most popular lifestyles for married couples and bisexual people. If you are looking for a swinger couple, here are some swinger dating websites where you can enjoy an adult swing. Adult Friend FinderrnAFF is the worldâs largest sex community and swinger dating site.
August 29, 2024