Browse Relationship Advice

One of the hardest things to do when you're communicating with someone is expressing yourself. How many times have you said something that just didn't come out the way you wanted it to? How many times have we said something that we really didn't mean, but we were too frustrated to stop it from being said? What's more, some people have a fear of expressing themselves at all. They're afraid to say something that might cost them a friendship. Or they bottle everything up tight and seize up at the mere thought of sharing their true emotions. This can be a constant struggle for people.

It seems that everywhere you look, many long-standing (or short) relationships and/or marriages are dissolving. If you’re like most people, when this happens, you find yourself stuck in thinking about the past, wondering what went wrong, and unable to move from the pain of the relationship. ...

Any idiot can ramble on about in conversation and bore the bejesus out of their companions, and it is a legitimate fear for many that this embarrassing turn of events may happen to them at some point. We've all been there, stuck in conversation, trying to dig out of it by throwing everything we can think of out there. The best advice, however, is to simply find an interesting way to broach everyday questions. Here are 11 such questions. 1. Tell me about the most interesting

How will I know I am in Love? By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. In our many interviews with people “in love” we ask them, perhaps, the most revealing question of the interview – “How will I know I am in love?” We have heard very consistent answers. And conversely, many people involved in a new loving relationship, particularly young people, often ask us, “How do I know if I am in love?” We think we know the answer.

Would the prince have chose Cinderella to marry if she was a miserable young woman? If her stepsisters were beautiful but miserable, would he have chosen either of them? Are you living under the delusion that when you meet your soul mate you will finally be happy - that your misery is because ...

It’s confusing, isn’t it? One moment you think you’ve found your soul mate, the next moment he’s stopped calling. You rack your brain for any clue that would explain his behavior. Nothing. Zero. You got along well, he worshipped the ground you walked on. He was smitten by you as much as you were by him. Or so you thought. Should you end the relationship now, while you can still crawl out of the black hole called love? After all, he’s not the only fish in the sea. Or

Good relationships don’t just happen. I’ve heard many of my clients state that, “If I have to work at it, then it’s not the right relationship.” This is not a true statement, any more than it’s true that you don’t have to work at good physical health ...

In 25 years as a judge dealing with relationship issues I almost never had to resolve legal disputes. People were almost always before me because someone got defensive and became a bad problem solver. Defensiveness is a poison pill to good relationships. In conflict, defensiveness is like blood in the water to a shark. A little here, a little there, and in no time the situation has degenerated into a feeding frenzy. Remaining non-defensive is the single most important thing y

How many of you are confronted with a situation that the guy you are dating and attracted to is not really ready to move your relationship to the next level? Or that he hasn't taken down his profile from the dating site yet after a few months seeing each other? It feels scary for you now that you feel hormonally hooked on him.

Text messaging is one of the most powerful ways to flirt and build attraction and to lay a great foundation for a lasting relationship with a man.

Rebound relationship is a common occurrence during a breakup. My clients usually get terribly anxious when they find out that their exes are dating again or entering a new relationship. They want to know how to stop this or how their exes can do this, what that means, etc. They ask, "Does it mean they're over me?" Chill, folks. The answer is, very likely, no and the fact that they're seeing someone else can actually work in your favor as it serves as a clarity and as such it can even hasten the reconciliation process if you know how to handle yourself.

"I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line." --Lucile Ball, 1911-1989, Comedienne and Actress Lucile Ball was a very smart woman! Do you believe that if you put others first, they will love and value you and you will feel loved? Has this worked for you?

If your partner had an affair, you might be trying to figure out how this happened. Whether you are still in this relationship or not, your heart might feel broken into a million pieces. Unfortunately, some of the beliefs that you may hold about infidelity could be making your broken heart pain worse than it already is. There are many misconceptions about why people cheat.

If you have a new guy in your life and are in the early stages of courtship, chances are good you will be texting him and he will be texting you. Flirty texting is fun, but if you aren't careful, you can unknowingly put a huge damper on his attraction.

The key of dating an emotionally unavailable man who wants to take things slow is to let him set the pace. Expect that he will go hot and cold. Mirror him in everything he does. When he's hot, reciprocate that, this is your time to establish bonding. When he's cold, also keep a distance. Don't try to force yourself unto him asking for attention and affection. He will only withdraw further. Trust His Actions, Why Words Don't Mean So Much For A Man.

A fan wrote me a heartfelt email: Hi Katarina, me and my bf of almost 2 years broke up about 3 and a half months ago. It was not a bad break up, but he felt like he could not handle the pressure of a full-blown relationship. In the time that we have been apart I have learned a lot and recently we have started talking again.

There is an excellent discussion going on in my private group: "For years we read from women that we should play hard to get. There are countless books written by women on this topic. What are your thoughts on why women believe we should play hard to get and men believe we should not? Do you believe women who hold the idea of playing hard to get contribute to their own demise?"

Building good character is all about addition, not subtraction. What I mean is this: when it comes to change, our focus is usually on the aspects of our lives that are bad. We try to cut out or cut off these negative or bad qualities. We try to improve by subtraction. That is not how you build good character. It is the process of addition in your life that brings the character. In so doing, you automatically take care of the other negative aspects. As both a father and a pastor of a Church, I look for ways to continually add to the character of those I am responsible for.

I want to address an important issue from my reader, about guys who lose their sexual mojo when they're settled with you (something that isn't very uncommon -surprise, surprise- which is the main reason why my marriage fell apart). So here it goes:

Everyone knows breaking up is hard to do. But staying in contact with your ex following a breakup? That's where things get really tricky. By remaining in each other's lives, you run the risk of a post-breakup rendezvous, holding onto feelings for your ex, and in general delaying your ability to heal and move on quickly (and without additional heartache). The following are some tips to help you avoid a post-breakup backslide into your ex’s arms, and instead ease you into your happily ever after future: Tip #1: Create new boundariesr Your best defense after a breakup?

Many relationships have been destroyed over the jealousy issue. However, sometimes it isn't so much jealousy but envy and covetousness that is the real root of the problem. Here is a brief definition of each before we get into a lager discussion of these. Jealousy - The fear of losing something that you feel already belongs to you. Covetousness - The desire of that which is not yours and currently unattainable as it belongs to someone else or lies outside your ability to get.

Has someone close to you broken your trust by lying? Is it difficult to get back on track and reestablish that trust relationship you thought you had? If so, there is hope! It's possible to get back to having a healthy and satisfying relationship with a person who has been lying. Understanding ...

Permissions: You may publish this article free of charge in your ezine, web site, ebook or print publication so long as the copyright notice and the resource paragraph (at the end ofrnthe article) are included. Laurie Weiss, Ph.D. Email: media@laurieweiss.com ------------ Article Begins Below This Line ------------ R-E-S-P-E-C-T: 25 Ways To Show It Copyright 2004 Laurie Weiss, Ph.D. Convicted criminals report that their violent behavior was caused by perceived disrespect.* Everyone wants to be treated with respect, but respect means different things to different people.

The feeling of falling in love is of the most exciting, thrilling and life changing events. Falling in love can change your entire outlook on life. Falling in love can occupy your mind and seem to take away all of life's problems. However, falling in love can bring about a serious problem of ...

Eighty percent of men are distancers and 80% of women are pursuers. Women have 10-15 times more oxytocin (the bonding hormone) than men, and men have 10 times more testosterone (go-getter hormone) than women: so based on that chemical proportion alone, it's obvious women need more closeness than what most men can give. At least when we understand this, we will be less inclined to feel abandoned or think of worst case scenarios.

Ten Things To Do After A Breakup To Get On With Your Life: 1. Know that grieving someone and missing them does not necessarily mean you want them. It means you hurt because you've had a loss. Perhaps that loss is the best thing but it's still a loss. Don't mistake grief for love. It's ...

The Rubber Band Man \ Is he taking a time out or is this a sign about your future? \ By John Gray, author of Men are from Mars Women are from Venus \ Just days ago your favorite Martian was holding you in his arms telling you how special you are and how much he loves you and now three days have gone ... The

Sometimes a relationship ends and for whatever reason one person is not able to let it go. They want to be back with the person that they were in the relationship with. They may have feelings that they cannot let go of. Or perhaps they have realized that the relationship ending was not the right thing and they want to fix it.

Some women get really hurt from just a few month fling? Why? Because they invest too much, too soon in the relationship and have soaring expectations of it. They buy into the fairy tale they concoct themselves that this is it: he's the One and they're "in love" not realizing that the dizzying feeling of being in love is actually a function of chemical cocktails in the brain and can easily be induced upon oneself because it feels great to be in love. Everyone wants it. However, it's not necessarily so.

If you feel empty, you are not alone in feeling this way. Many people feel empty inside, and most people who feel empty have some deep false beliefs regarding why they feel empty. Below are some of these false beliefs. I feel empty because: • My partner is not giving me enough love and attention. • I don't have a partner. • I'm bored because my partner doesn't provide me with enough stimulation.

The fear of rejection is a huge issue in relationships. For some, the fear is so huge that it stops them from being in a relationship. For others, it plagues them throughout their relationships and causes much anxiety. Rejection is a part of life, and learning to lovingly manage it is very important to our wellbeing. To help you learn to move beyond the fear of rejection, I would like to help you see who a person is rejecting when they reject you. Are they rejecting your wounded self or your core Self?

Are You a Love Addict? Are you in a Break-Up from an Addictive Relationship? There is no doubt that for most people, “breaking up is hard to do”… for love addicts, breaking up is especially difficult. One of the most disturbing and defining features of addiction is withdrawal and obsessive withdrawal is the ultimate confirmation of love addiction when a relationship ends. You may feel paralyzed in your grief, locked into the past, totally obsessed and unable to move forward. The pain feels unrelenting.

As a man, one of the hardest things to do is to get over a girl who has cheated on you. Remember that she was the one who cheated on you and dumped you for somebody else. It hurts your ego to a great extent. Some guys call and text their exes in such a way to make them regret about their wrong doings. However, you can’t make your ex girlfriend regret cheating on you. She did so because she was already moving on from the relationship with you. She had already made her mind not to stay with you any longer. Therefore, she cheated on you.

We've been told that the way to love is pretty linear and straightforward with guys. They take us to a first date, they like us, they make plans and ask us to be exclusive within a month or two, they fall in love and pop the question. Trust me when I say that very often guys don't know how they feel about you in the long run nor do they know what they want. And often the route isn't that straightforward either. That's WHY giving the right impression in the beginning is very important.

One of my best male friends was looking for me on IM feeling totally desperate because his wife was seriously talking about divorce now. They have been on that route before but this time she was totally serious. They have been having a rocky marriage as long as I can remember.

Freedom, separation, aggression, conquest, goal seeking and sex are the basic nature of testosterone. You’ve seen how many wars and conquests have been waged by men since the beginning of time. That’s the side effect of testosterone. It has also contributed to so much magnificence in the world: invention, creation, technology and innovation. Men are programmed and conditioned to constantly seek achievements and success. That’s their raison d’etre, like the birds’ nature is to fly and the fish’s is to breath in the water. Embrace it instead of faulting them for it.

Some people believe that it is caring to point out their partner's flaws - that it will help to make that person a better person. But the intent behind pointing out flaws is not loving - it is controlling. Pointing Out Flaws By pointing out flaws, you hope that your partner will let go of the things that you don't like and become more the person you want him or her to be. Now, be honest with yourself - is it working? Your partner might have one of two major responses to your judgments.

You are emotionally dependent when your happiness, sense of safety, and sense of worth are dependent upon others' love, attention, and approval. When you were growing up, perhaps you heard statements like: "What will the neighbors think?" "What will__(so and so)__think if you do that?"

"I can have a really great day, but when I wake up the next morning I feel anxious. Sometimes the better day I've had, the more anxious I am the next morning. I can't figure it out." I hear this over and over from my clients. What is happening here? The Tyranny of the Ego Wounded Self

I remember hearing years ago from a man I studied with, that he and his wife had an agreement: she was to say "yes" to him every time he wanted sex. It was the condition for the fulfillment of their monogamy promise. "If you want me to only have sex with you, then you need to provide for and take care of my need for sex."

Ladies, if you are serious about satisfying him better than ever before - listen up. Men aren't as complicated as they may seem at first. If you want to conquer him and make him go insane over you, you have to give him the best sex humanly possible. You have to give him more pleasure in bed than he got from all the other women he's been with before you. The thing is that you don't have to be the best in the world, you just have to better than other women he comes across with.

Jealousy can a bit tempting and exciting - it can be proof that someone is totally into you. A sign of jealousy can also be good - just as long as it's not destructive. Trying to make a guy jealous is a gamble in your part - it's either going to make him pursue you more or just plainly walk away or never look back. That's why it's important to find out if he likes you, even just a tiny bit. When all your attempts fail, it's probably because you didn't do it right or he simply

Men are visual creatures, while looks will get you in the door, in the long run it is emotional attraction that will keep him glued to you. What is emotional attraction to a man? It is everything in a woman that makes him feel supported, accepted and respected because all of that is the embodiment of love to him. She is an oasis to him, the source of life that brings beauty and serenity in the mostly troubled world he battles in.

Ladies, are you fed up with all the nonsense advice you get from magazines promising you to lose 50 lbs in 3 days? So am I. As a guy, I am a just another "victim" of these tips and I urge you gorgeous ladies to stop listening to that nonsense. Instead, here's some common sense from me. I won't give you another 127 "funky" tips, I'll just give you 3 real life tips that actually work. Men aren't as complicated as the magazines want you to think. It's actually pretty simple to f

Are you a dumped girlfriend? What does it take to move on after a guy has broken up with you? Do you want to move on, but are paralyzed by sadness? Here is a dumped girlfriend guide to moving on. While Still Mou ing, Do Realize That You Can Still Seduce Your Ex Back. Here's How: The Ultimate Method of Getting Your Ex Back

As an author and psychotherapist with an international private practice, I've often come across women who are involved with Ambivalent Men. An Ambivalent Man struggles with a profound sense of confusion that causes him to repeatedly sabotage romantic relationships (or potential romantic relationships) that could have otherwise been healthy and lasting. The Ambivalent Man always sends double messages. Red light, green light; stop, go; he wants you, he wants to break up; he's i

Friendship isn't a unique relationship in addition to all the other ones. In fact, friendship is more than that. When any of your relationships can become friends, then it has reached the pinnacle of that relationship. I don't have a wife, children, parents, and then friends. No, each of these other relationships has become friends too. I want to be a friend to my children, to my parents, and certainly to my wife. I married my best friend. She is my wife, but she is also my friend. But how do you repair a damaged or broken friendship?

Don't we all want to grow into the fullest and most authentic expression of ourselves? Shakespeare wrote, "To thine own self be true." When it comes to creating a successful life the place to start is with ourselves. Read on and discover a daily practice to help you really get to know yourself! Success in life can mean different things for different people. But one thing that's common to most people's definition is the ability to be true to ourselves no matter what is going on around us.

September 11, 2001 was the world’s wake up call. After the chaos and confusion, we awoke to the realization that life is a precious gift and that it is our responsibility as a citizen and human being to lead and live our best life. For most of us, that meant looking at our current state of affairs and recognizing all the changes we needed to make. We often know it is important to change our lives, but do not know where to begin. Change can be easy, really---by changing your thoughts, you change your feelings, and thus change your actions.

How many times a day do we wonder: am i attractive enough? The answer is not simple, yet it is. You are and you are not. It depends on to whom you are talking and what you mean by attractive. Why do we play this “attractive” game when we don’t know what we want to achieve by trying so hard to be ...

One of my favorite quotes of all time is "Don't make people a priority who only make you an option". I often repeat this quote to myself and have it posted in several areas of my house, as well as my daily planner. It's something I try to remember on a daily basis. We talk a lot about the toxins in our environment, our personal care products and our food. But there is another place where we can get exposed to emotional and mental toxins, and that is in our day to day relatio

The college aged daughter of a close friend of mine recently asked her mom "my boyfriend wants to take a break, what does that mean?" Her daughter was confused, heart broken and a little angry and was looking for advice. If you're in the same situation here are a few tips than can help you through this 'limbo' and allow you to come out the other side intact. Why Men Pull Away Even When They Are In Love With You!

Famous agony aunt tells you how to get a job as a professional paid agony aunt.

Research indicates that children would rather be yelled at than ignored. When prisoners are being punished, they are put in isolation, because being isolated is one of the harshest punishments there is - other than physical abuse. The silent treatment is a form of punishment, a way to attempt to control children and partners into doing what you want them to do. It is a withdrawal of approval, and can cause much fear in people who are vulnerable to this.

Have you had a relationship with a man that has unfortunately always been on the on-and-off track? Wanting him back is a completely normal reaction to a breakup, regardless of whether the feelings come right away, or over time. Here are some proactive tips for turning your ex to be in love with you again and even find you more attractive than before.

What is a high maintenance relationship? A high maintenance relationship is when someone is making you responsible for him or her in various different areas of life. Emotional High Maintenance When a person takes no responsibility for their own feelings of safety, security, worth, lovability, wellbeing, or happiness, they are high maintenance.

Is fighting a problem in your relationship or marriage? Fighting is a very serious problem for many couples. The good news is that I am about to help you solve it permanently. First you have to understanding that you should not fight at all, with anyone. I don’t mean you should not disagree with others or your signi

Are you emotionally dependent? You might want to go through this checklist. __I cannot feel lovable and worthy without another's approval. __I need a lot of attention from certain people to feel that I am okay. __I don't trust my own feelings. I need others' to validate my feelings. __I am afraid of rejection. I isolate, or try to be perfect, or agree with others, or give myself up, or shut down, and/or do many other things to avoid rejection. __I am afraid to be alone. __I often feel empty inside. __I am often anxious around others.

From the time we are born, we need validation. Loving parents offer consistent validation to their children, validating their feelings, their perceptions, their gifts and talents, their particular form of intelligence, their interests, their kindness, caring, and intuition. You are very fortunate if you received this kind of validation from your parents. If your parents also validated their own feelings, perceptions, and so on, then you are extremely fortunate, as you likely learned to do this for yourself from their role modeling.

Is neediness ruining your love life? By John Gray, author of Men are from Mars Women are from Venus

Finding that special someone is something that most people dream about. Unfortunately doing that is not as easy as it sounds. Everyone has advice for you as to how you should go about finding that potential soul mate. However, no method is fool proof. In fact, due to dating desperation many people have turned to online dating as a relationship resource. The truth is that when online dating first came about there was quite a bit of stigma surrounding it.

Why should you care about emotional maturity? Because it can mean the difference between a happy, rewarding and satisfying life and relationship versus a stressful unhappy existence with crises that never seem to go away. This newletter introduces the signs of emotional immaturity, qualities and characteristics of emotional maturity and how to develop these aspects.rnSigns of Emotional Immaturity We all have bad days and at times have our own individual temper tantrums. Somet

Hello there I have worked as an advice columnist and psychic writer for nearly forty years. Yes - a long time! Why did I get into this work? I wanted to work from home, be my own boss, have some control over how many hours and what those hours were, be paid well for the work I do and do something helpful and interesting. How many jobs are there that you can do from home that fit all of those? Very few.

Making mistakes is part of life. But making mistakes in front of your peers, family, friends, or loved ones often brings a sense of embarrassment. Fearing this embarrassment will invariably cause you even more humiliation. Find out why and what you can do. Embarrassment is the natural result of believing that others see you as a fool, stupid, or even obsolete. When boiled down to its most basic component, embarrassment is a feeling of rejection. That’s right—rejection.

Female signs are one of the trickiest signs to decode in this side of the planet. However, when it comes to reading her signs of attraction and finding out if she's sexually attracted to you, there are no more clearer signs there is. A woman is much easier to read when she's already into you. So don't be too paranoid and pressured thinking about how unattractive you are and that you have no way on earth have a chance into dating that hot babe ever. It's time to look at the br

Text messaging is one of the most powerful ways to flirt and build attraction and to lay a great foundation for a lasting relationship with a man. Unfortunately, many women are at a loss for how to properly leverage this technology to make a man feel intense level of attraction toward her with the use of a cell phone and an unlimited text messaging plan. Today all of that changes!

“Karma” is what we do every day - it's really another word for “action.” An action (I drink a cup of coffee), creates a memory (I liked that cup of coffee), which creates a desire (I want another cup of coffee) which creates an action and starts the cycle all over again! To break out of our ...

When you separate from your partner, whether it is dating, a long-term relationship or a marriage, it leaves an emotional gap in your life that you feel the urge to fill. Your confidence and self-esteem will be low and you may feel as if no one will love you again. Essentially, you are looking to replace the lost companionship and friendship that you once had with your partner. How to Get Your Ex Back...Even If Your Situation Seems Impossible... This is when rebound relations

Have you ever been faced with trying to stay positive when others around you are negative? Negative people can be a challenge to be around. They will bring you down and drain your energy. A negative person can throw your best laid plans to be positive right out the window. Whether your child or spouse has an occasional negative day or you deal with a family member, friend or co-worker that is chronically negative, there are things you can do to remain positive in the face of

People often get angry and many times they don't even know why they get angry. As a counselor, I've dealt with many people who are genuinely puzzled why they got so angry. Have you ever gotten angry over something small, stupid, or just plain silly? Have you ever sat down later and felt frustration over why you got angry to begin with? This article is for you. There are two reasons why you may get angry over what may be nothing. We'll look at both of them and see what we can learn. THE FEAR OF SOMETHING I don't necessarily mean the frantic, horror film type fear.

There’s a bit of a misconception amongst women that men are attracted to them primarily by how they look. Granted, men certainly are visually orientated but there’s actually something deeper going on that turns a man’s attention towards a woman. If you think that when you slip ...

For my birthday last year my wife made up a beautifully framed picture of my name, and then unde eath it she listed 32 positive qualities I possess. Needless to say, it was one of the finest gifts I have ever received. Some of the qualities even taught me about me. After that wonderful ...For my birthday last ...

I’ve counseled and been the pastor of marriages for years. In all that time, I have come to realize what makes a successful marriage. Any marriage, and I mean any marriage, that follows these ten principles will be successful. Yes, these are Christian principles. Here are the Ten Principles for a successful marriage. A summary of each will follow: - Unless God is allowed to be the Chief Architect of my marriage, I can’t get the marriage I want. (Psalms 127:1, 128:1-6) - Communication is the medium through which all love, growth, and grace must flow.

Finally! A step-by-step guide on how to meet women that makes meeting women fun and easy for any guy! I have a question... (And you have to be honest with me here!) Is meeting women hard for you to do? Do you feel afraid when it comes to meeting women? And is that fear keeping you from ...

Wow, what a punch in the stomach. You were just dumped. It can be a shock, even if all the signs were there. Now comes the hard part, what to do next? If you've just said 'my boyfriend left me, what should I do now?" the answer might not be what you expected! As humans it is our nature, unfortunately, to want what we can't have. If your boyfriend just left you then your natural inclination is to want to get him back. Many times women in this situation will fight tooth and nail to get their guy back.

There is a difference between pressure and stress. One causes the other, and one we can reduce and shunt off. Learn the difference between these two in your life and what you can do about them. Stress is the product of pressure. Set an empty plastic water bottle upright and place the palm of your hand on the cap. Apply pressure by pressing down. The pressure is applied to the top of the bottle, but the stress will reveal itself at the weakest point in the bottle. Usually, this is halfway down the bottle at the narrow part.

"Why do men so often change after sex?" asked Shelley in our first phone session. "Tell me what you mean by this. What has been your experience?" I asked her.

I keep reading that if a man is interested he will ask you out (which I think is true to a point). When a guy asks you out that definitely shows interest, but it is hard for me to believe that every single guy has the guts to ask out all the girls he has been interested in. My question is: ...

It’s not unusual. The glow of a new relationship begins to dim as time goes by. As excitement and novelty turn to contentment and familiarity, the relationship begins to shift and become more predictable. Excitement wanes and you may begin to wonder how to get it back. This is normal. But whether you have been married for 20 years or dating for 2 months, it’s the responsibility of both partners to keep the fire beneath the glow burning. Most happy couples will tell you th

It is only when we no longer compulsively need someone that we can have a real relationship with them Anthony StorrnnDefinitions of relationship n• the state of being related by kindred, affinity, or other alliancen• a state of connectedness between people (especially an emotional connection); n• a state involving mutual dealings between people or parties or countries n• state of relatedness or connection by blood or marriage or adoptionn(www.websters-

Repeats are nice if you are the Los Angeles Lakers or Lance Armstrong, but when it comes to unhealthy relationships, forget it. Nobody wants to repeat the same mistakes over and over. However, when it comes to relationships, far too many people marry for the second or third or fourth time and ...

Patients often contact me for therapy in the throes of a difficult decision. They want to know if they should get a new job or change their child's school, move to another city or leave their spouse. When they can’t make a decision, it is usually not for lack of relevant information and advice ...

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts. Older adults between the ages of 57 and 85 make sex an important part of their lives! That’s the results of the first comprehensive national survey of the sexual attitudes and behaviors of older adults as reported in the New England Journal of Medicine. And, as you might have guessed, our more than 25 years of research with successfully married couples offered the same conclusions.

Breaking up or getting a divorce might have been your idea. It could be that you, your partner or both of you were caught in destructive behaviors that could only be stopped by ending your relationship. Maybe there was abuse of some kind involved. Or perhaps the troubles in your relationship were less overtly damaging, but they seemed unresolvable and the dynamics were making you both miserable and unhappy. As much as you know, deep down, that ending your relationship and moving on with your life was the “best” decision, your heart might feel broken.

If you are a single woman over 30 and are actively dating, likelihood is you'll find many divorced men -recent or not- as your potential suitors. You -and your ex that you are not over with- are even perhaps on a rebound yourself! We all go through transitional relationships at one point or another.

Tracy, a 30 year old love addict shares her story of a relationship break up:

Men have a love-hate relationship with their mothers. They love their moms to death, yet they loath the feeling of being mothered (i.e. being told what to do/not to do). Now they are adults and live on their own, they don't need another woman -and much younger at that- replacing their mother's role. That is one of the main reasons why many men are gun shy about relationship. They don't want someone to check in with every time they do something. It's an obligation that hampers with their freedom that they hold sacred.

The greatest problem with a bad past is not that you made mistakes or did things wrong. It is that you can't go back and undo it. That is the most frustrating part about guilt and regrets. We are hands on people. We want to fix mistakes and right wrongs. But once the moment has slipped into the past, what's done is done. We can't go back and undo or even redo it. That is the problem. So the key to letting your past go is dependent on some sort of action that we can take.

Maybe you’ve tried every strategy that you can think of to lure your ex boyfriend back into your arms and back into your life but it just doesn’t seem to be working. You have tried playing hard to get; you’ve tried obsessing over what he’s doing and calling every hour; you’ve showed up coincidentally at a location where you know he will be; you’ve “casually” inquired about his well being through your mutual friends; you’ve gotten angry; and you’ve gotten sad to the point that you call them up crying and begging them to come back.

Very often, in my work with my clients, when I ask them what they are feeling they say, "I feel sad." Often, they do not know why they feel sad. Sadness comes from two very different sources. Core Sadness Core sadness is sadness that is in reaction to something that is happening or has happened exte ally. Many life situations can cause sadness, such as:

It seems to be a complete mystery. Something we cannot understand. And yet it happens every day all around us: People who used to love each other madly suddenly fall out of love, just like that. What are the reasons? Sarah's Story: Sarah and her boyfriend had been the perfect couple. It was as ...

Whether you just got out of a relationship, or have been struggling to heal your broken heart for some time now, figuring out how to move on can be confusing, fear-inducing, and downright uncomfortable. Not only do you have to let go of your past, but you’ve got to be willing to embrace the unknown future. If the task sounds daunting, don’t worry. By unlocking the following seven secrets, you’ll unleash your personal reinvention and go from “I’ll never be the same” to “What was his name?” in no time!

If you think men just want to lead a bachelor life without any conce in the world while having you on the side because it's convenient to him, you are mistaken. Do realize that both men and women want to love and be loved. Both genders want a great relationship as it is our inherent need. Women in general are perhaps far more adamant and focused about this than men but there is nothing more beautiful for a man than being loved by a woman he adores.

Why Snoring Is The Silent Relationship Killer Snoring isn’t called 'the silent relationship killer' because it doesn’t make any sound. On the contrary, the sometimes raucous sounds that are called snoring could often rival a freight train going through the bedroom! Snoring has earned the name 'silent relationship killer' in my new ebook "Is Snoring Destroying Your Relationship While You Sleep?" because it stealthily causes damage (sometimes irreparable) to a relationship with

What are couples really meaning when they say, "We can't communicate"? The issue with understanding what this means is what they mean by "communicate." All too often, when a partner states, "We can't communicate," what he or she means is "I can't get my partner to listen to me and understand things from my point of view." And unde eath this is, "If my partner only understood things through my eyes, he or she would then change and do things my way."

One of the great relationship destroyers is that of unrealistic expectations. Expecting something out of the relationship that the other is either ignorant of, unwilling to provide, or simply unable to provide. Frustration and anger is the result. This article deals with differing expectations and how to deal with them. Everyone has expectations. I met a guy once who argued that point. He told me that he had no expectations in life. I challenged him with, "You go to school right?

If you want to get your ex girlfriend back in your life, you need to be careful about when and how you contact her. As you may have read elsewhere, many relationship gurus encourage you not to contact your ex for a period of time after breaking up. This is often referred to as the "no contact" period.

In my work with couples, I often find a lack of trust at the root of many challenges they report. Trust is a Verb We have been taught to believe trust is a commodity to be earned by others. Once they have passed certain tests, then we feel safe to extend our trust. I would like to entertain ...

Clifford, 42, married with children, told me during a phone session that he was tired of not feeling happy and joyous. "As a small child, I remember being so happy and excited about life. But my parents didn't receive me at all. They were indifferent to my creativity and excitement." "Clifford, how did you feel when they didn't receive you?" "Shattered."

I've received so many requests for advice from women who are desperate because their men either broke up with them or became more and more distant and less willing to keep in touch or show affection. I can relate to that. I have had my share of similar experience in my 20's when a man whom I was so attracted to and who was so hot in pursuing me became cold when I showed too much eage ess. And the more I tried to prove myself to him, the more distant he was. Finally, I never heard from him again. And it took me 2 years to get over him for a few weeks of intense fling we had.

Have you ever heard those words before? “We have to take a break.” It hits you like a bucket of frozen water. Taking a break inside a relationship regularly means doom for couples, however it really doesn’t have to. What does “taking a break while in the romantic relationship” really imply? Especially in long-term relationships taking a break can in actual fact be a good thing. Commonly times our significant other just requires a little space to reflect on their lif

What are you afraid of if you say "No" to people? Here are some of the things my clients have told me regarding their fear of saying no: "I'm afraid of hurting their feelings. Then they will get angry at me and I will feel like a bad person." "I'm afraid of ending up with no friends.

Have you ever had a friend describe a really "hot' blind date for you, and you get all excited and eager to meet this wonder person only to come face to face with the person and zero, nothing, no sparks. The person is all that, but you are just not digging him or her. Or have you ever found ...

We've all seen cartoons in which a character shapes snow into a ball, perhaps to build a snowman. As the ball of snow is rolled, it grows bigger and bigger. Pretty soon that snowball is quite large and here comes a slope or hill... The next thing we see are the arms and legs of our beloved mouse, dog or other cartoon character sticking out from this gigantic snowball that is quickly rolling down the hill, continuing to grow and knock out anything in its way. Giant out-of-control snowballs are funny in cartoons, but there's nothing funny when jealousy snowballs in your relationship.

Everyone in a marriage or long term relationship needs to be aware of the main reasons for adultery especially in view of the most recent statistics. Recent surveys have revealed that 45% of women and 55% of men have been guilty of committing adultery. Of course these are just the ones who ...

The underlying basis of all addictions - and alcohol is no exception - is the avoidance of pain. While there is evidence that some people have genetic and biological predispositions toward alcoholism, not all people with these predispositions abuse alcohol or become alcohol dependent. Many ...

My editor Brenda who helped me edit my book out of her gratitude for the advice I have given him in the past dealing with her own emotionally unavailable man, told everyone how profoundly transformational my book is.

Flirting between two people can be fun, sexy and harmless...unless, of course, one of those two people is already in a committed relationship with someone else! When you are the one who watches (or hears about) your partner flirting with another person, it can be emotionally painful and it can also bring up a lot of questions, doubts and suspicions within you. For example, you might wonder, “Why doesn't she flirt with ME like that? I am her boyfriend after all!”

Insights For Marriage Counselling This article describes a common relationship pattern where men have closed down their “ability to feel’. The origin of this pattern is the man attempted to fill his father’s role when he was a boy. He attempted to meet his mother’s needs at the cost of his own. Emotionally he was asked for more than he could give resulting in a closed heart. Many men suffer from this today. Background

How does a woman attract amazing men who will give them what she wants: love, commitment, adoration? By being a happy, independent, secure and self-confident woman. Your looks will get you in the door but to keep a man attracted to you for the long haul, you have to have those inner qualities.

Whenever I’m at a dinner party and meet somebody new, the inevitable question comes up: What do you do? When I tell them I’m a heartbreak reinvention coach, it always leads to an interesting conversation. Usually, I get to hear the story of Their Big Breakup, and it’s always gut-wrenching, soul-shifting, and chock full of life lessons. Having written about my Big Breakup in my book It’s a Breakup, Not a Breakdown and the follow up workbook, I can tell you easily what my lessons were. In sharing them, I have discovered that they are pretty universal.

If you asked almost any overweight person, "Do you really want to lose weight?" the answer is likely, "Yes, I would love to lose weight." If most overweight and obese people would so love to lose weight that they spend billions a year on trying to lose weight, why is our country growing fatter? Why aren't people losing weight when they say that this is what they want to do? Because, as much as they say the want to lose weight, there is something they want even more than losing weight: they want to fill their emptiness and avoid their painful feelings.

Dear Relationship Coach- "We met online and seemed to hit it off right from the start. After he answered my ad, we went on our first date, and it was fabulous. I believe we both felt a strong chemistry and learned a lot about each other. At the end of the evening we agreed to get together ...

Men are biologically different to women, and yet so many women seem to have no idea why their partners act the way they do. The very biological differences that draw so many people together are also sometimes the very things that can drive them apart. Biologically, men have almost the opposite hormonal make-up to women. What can trigger stress in a woman can actually be a calming factor for men, and vice versa.

What is Emotional Dependency? Lydia consulted with me because her relationship with her husband, Andrew, was falling apart. Andrew had moved out, stating that he could no longer tolerate Lydia's neediness and constant pull on him to make her feel loved and secure. Now that they were separated, Lydia's emotional dependency was getting even worse. She was deeply addicted to Andrew making her feel better, if only through a brief text message.

Harry dates women with problems, big problems. Katie was bulemic and had a drinking problem. He tried to help her in every way possible, but she dumped him for another guy after eight months. Then there was Melinda, who lost her job but maintained her lifestyle through credit card debt. After ...

If you are feeling desperate because you are trying to save marriage alone, do not despair. There are many others in the same boat as you and such cries for help can be heard from both men and women alike. This is probably because they have made the same common mistake; entering a relationship with unrealistic expectations of fulfillment and happiness.

The dating game can be very complicated. Are you looking for a guy who is easy-going, loves art, and can hold a great conversation? Then you should date a Librarn. Libra guys are very appreciative of beautiful things, and they understand that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. They are not swayed by the mainstream ideas of beauty and instead prefer to judge for themselves whether something is beautiful. They love culture, and enjoy a good conversation. The great thing abou

There comes a point in almost any successful relationship where things calm down and cool off. There is no longer a major spark between the partners. They get comfortable in their relationship and develop a routine. They no longer find as much time to spend together. Often, this is not due to a lack of desire between the couple. Most often it is the fact that life gets in the way. They may have children or careers to deal with. They are busy and just do not have the free time that they had when their relationship was in the beginning stages.

A lot has changed since the publication of my book. I shared my personal story dealing with an emotionally unavailable man (EUM) I was seeing at the time. The friendship was great -we couldn't have bonded any tighter- but true to my own integrity as an author and coach (as per my own advice in the book), I moved on when I saw a greener pasture. No drama. No crying. No emotional mess.

How important is your physical health to you? Of course, most people will say that they really want to be healthy, but what are you willing to DO to be healthy? And what are you willing to NOT DO to be healthy? In other words, what is more important to you than being healthy? Is more important to: • Eat fast food, or packaged, frozen and processed food, than take the time to cook healthy meals with fresh, organic healthy ingredients?

Are you in a relationship with a Love Avoidant? In addictive love relationships, the Love Addict repeatedly attracts individuals with particular signs - and in turn, people with these particular signs are attracted to the love addict. The type of person I am speaking of is the Love Avoidant. Like two powerful magnetic forces, a love avoidant and love addict form and inevitably create a very toxic ‘love’ relationship. The following are six common signs of a love avoidant, see if you recognize them in your relationship partner or a past relationship partner.

It may not be that intelligence is a measurable quality. We establish IQ scores, true, but these scores are not set in stone. Our brain is like any other muscle, if it is exercised, it grows stronger and more agile. Therefore, it may not even be accurate to assume that one person is necessarily smarter than another. With proper mental exercise and training, you could surpass someone supposedly smarter than you. Chess, for example, has been established to raise a person’s IQ level. The exercise of the brain in such intensity is bound to create a more intelligent person.

So, you've been dumped and now you want to make your girlfriend jealous so she'll go on bended knee to get you back. Of course, I don't know how your breakup came about, but maybe it was a little too hurtful and she needs to really understand that. Maybe you want her back in a way that she realizes that you're something special and not to be taken for granted. Whatever, but you need to bend the power of jealousy in a way that annoys her like a persistent itch. Make Ex Girlfri

Some say that the purpose of life is to seek happiness. Is happiness the purpose, or is happiness the result of another purpose? Is happiness the meaning of life, or is happiness the result of discovering what has heart and meaning for you? There is not one right answer to this question. The ...

Take a moment to go inside and see how you define success. Is your success defined by:

Most of us have many goals in life. These goals might have to do with work, finances, relationships and family. Some of the goals that many people strive for are to feel worthy, loved, and valued. Many people spend much time in their lives seeking the approval of others, believing that getting this approval will finally give them the love, safety, security, and sense of worth that they desire. The problem with this goal is that it is an impossible goal to achieve, because it is not others' love, attention and approval that bring about a deep sense of self-worth.

What is Social Phobia? Social phobia - or social anxiety - is the fear of interacting with others in various situations: groups, work, school, parties, on the telephone, in a market or store, and so on. People with social phobia experience extreme anxiety or panic when they know that they have to talk or interact with others. They often find themselves isolating rather than risk the rejection or ridicule that they fear.

Being a relationship coach and dealing with breakup issues a good chunk of time, I have a lot of anxious female clients/readers who are on the brink of a nervous breakdown because they feel their world is falling apart: i.e. their men seem to fade into the state of indifference. They panic and need a healthy dose of inspiration to get their self-confidence back. Is He Pulling Away? Bring Him Back From The Brink

We all want to have those special moments with our partner. We want, sometimes desperately to make them experience the greatest nights of their lives. We plan, we try, and we spend a fortune trying to produce that once in a lifetime event. If only we realized that the true ingredient for special moments we already had in front of us.

The amount of time we get to spend with our partners is less and less. Commutes are longer, people often spend eight or ten hours at the computer and in meetings. Our increasingly complex lives also come with a host of professional, personal, and hobby-related commitments. As a result, the amount of quality time we have available to spend with our partner declines. Using technology to send an affectionate or a sexy text is a great way to create touch points with your love throughout the day.

There are seven stages in a romantic relationship: avoidance, meeting, dating, breaking up, establishing exclusivity, commitment, and keeping the love you find. Each of these stages vary in length and intensity. At each stage, there are thoughts and feelings telling you what to do and when to do it. You need to learn to listen to your intuition in each stage, so that you can make smart decisions.

Celine, an only child, was 7 years old, her mother died tragically in a car accident. She and her father were devastated. However, unlike so many of my clients who lost parents and no one was there for them, Celine's father was completely there for her, even while dealing with his own grief and heartbreak. Celine could call him anytime at work and he would talk to her or come home to lovingly hold her. Because he was so completely there for her, her feelings of grief, heartbreak, sadness and sorrow did not get stuck in her body.

We think that our actions define us more than our words. But the reality is exactly the opposite. Our actions are important, but our actions are psychologically used to verify the truth of our words and not the other way around. Be careful what you say. This article attempts to prove that your words define you more than your actions. Take a parent who says, "Do what I say and not what I do." A child looks at the action, realizes that the words are empty and vain, and doesn't listen to what you say. Interestingly, the child will hold the words against you more than the action.

By Carl “J.C.” Pantejo – Copyright 2007nn(Author “My Friend Yu – The Prosperity Mentor,” Copyright August 2007. Pantejo - Y.N. Vurce Publishing.)nn*Below is an excerpt from “My Friend Yu – The Prosperity Mentor: Book II. Release Date: December 2007/January 2008. Pantejo - Y.N. Vurce Publishing.nn(COPY) 250 word SummarynnBeing “in love” is wonderful. You smile more. You laugh spontaneously. Your step is livelier. Comm

Many years ago, when I became a psychotherapist, all I knew was the traditional psychotherapy that I had learned in school, and that I had personally experienced with many different therapists and many different forms of therapy. For 18 years I practiced what I had learned, and I was never happy with the results.

"Those who do not know how to weep with their whole heart don't know how to laugh either." - Golda Meir Do you have a lid on your tears? Do you also have a hard time laughing with your whole body? Our tears are a God-given way of expressing sadness, just as laughter is a God-given way of expressing fun and joy. Both laughter and tears release stress in loving ways, rather than having to release it through anger or through holding it in your body, which can eventually cause physical pain and illness.

Where is your power center? Is it in you or in other people or circumstances? Paradoxically, controlling people often believe that they don’t have control over their lives or even themselves. Control is important to codependents.

Years ago, when on a book tour for our book, "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?", my ex-husband and I had dinner with a couple on the East Coast with whom he had become friends. I connected with Allison (not her real name) immediately. Warm and open, I could see that she was a deeply caring woman. On the other hand, her husband Ken, while overtly charming, had a huge black hole inside that felt like a vacuum cleaner sucking the energy out of everyone. His need for attention was overwhelming to me.

For every true professional paid agony aunt that is working and helping strangers and getting paid for their efforts there must be thousands out there that would like the chance to do it and many of them may well be suitable for this work. Working as an agony aunt though is not as easy as a lot of people think. It is not just a case of listening to a problem and saying something in response. What you say has to make sense, be helpful, tell them things they could not easily hear from people they know, be supportive and tactful.

Many people don’t realize that they’re feeling emotionally abandoned or that they did as a child. They may be unhappy, but can’t put their finger on what it is. People tend to think of abandonment as something physical, like neglect.

Here's A Relationship Question From Jessica: Jessica says “I met B at a wedding a few months ago and we hit it off nice. After a few dates we started sleeping together and we’ve been in a relationship since then. The first 3 months were hot and heavy, but since last week B suddenly stopped calling me. Out of the blue. No fights or disagreement or nothing. We had great sex the last time I saw him. He hasn’t responded to my text messages or answered my calls. I drove past his house the other night, his car was there and the lights were on.

Make Your Difficult Ex Boyfriend Reverse The Breakup; Psychological tips on how you can make difficult to handle ex boyfriend reverse a breakup. Men are desirous of pleasure. A complete solution to help you get your ex back into your life is provided at the end of this write-up (Author's Bio), meanwhile let's build the foundation. No man can resist a woman’s flirt if she does it well. Even if you successful reconcile with an ex boyfriend, what about making him fall in love

It’s time to get real with your relationships. Whether you are currently single or in a relationship, I invite you to ask yourself the following questions because this is part of the process of healing your relationships. In doing this you can heal those from the past, embrace the present and choose your future relationships with a new person or with your current partner. What do you want in a relationship? This may seem like an easy question yet it can produce some anxiety

"It's really important that you feel good. Because this feeling good is what goes out as a signal into the universe and starts to attract more of itself to you. So the more you can feel good, the more you will attract the things that help you feel good and that will keep bringing you up higher and higher." --Joe Vitale,?Author and Speaker The "Law of Attraction" states that like attracts like. Most Law of Attraction gurus state that there are four steps to manifestation:

People are usually scared the first time they find out about the No Contact Rule. This is understandable. At first, it really does feel counter intuitive. Not contacting your ex so you can get them back. You feel as though you should be with your ex right now rather than far away from them so truthfully, will the No Contact Rule work? The No Contact Rule - Does It Work to Get Your Relationship Healed?

Before you came across this article you must have tried all you can to forget some one you see everyday but can't get a solution. This article will eventually bring an end to all your emotional pains so you will be happier and healthier as before. You might be a victim of breakup and you are trying hard to pick up and continues with your life but due to circumstances you see your partner everyday. You might be seeing him/her at the job site, school, the gym, beach, church, r

Discover the difference between needs coming from emotional dependency and authentic needs that we have within a relationship. ________________________________________ Every few weeks I do a free webinar. People can listen on their computers or on the phone; they can write in asking questions or they can ask me directly on the phone. Here is one of the questions a woman – I will call her Susan - asked in a webinar on emotional dependency:

Scorpio men are very charismatic and love power. They can be very stubborn, and that is how they often get their way. If you are a woman who is adaptable enough to step back to avoid a fight, or who can turn the battle to her advantage, then you might be able to handle this explosive sign. Scorpios would rather work together than fight, though they will fight if they think they need to or that it is the only way that they will get what they want. However, if you are very timi

Frustration and anger can lead to mean-spirited, disrespectful communication. We sometimes reach the breaking point and say hurtful or belittling comments, often while raising our voice. For example, Sarah is watching TV with her husband Erik. A commercial for a fast food company comes on and she picks up the remote and mutes it. “Hey!” Erik yells. “Why the hell did you do that! I was watching it!” “Oh, sorry,” Sarah says, turning the sound back on. “Well, it’s too late now!” he rages. “I missed it. You know that I’ve been wanting a hamburger all day.” Sarah stares at him, shocked.

Do you feel unloved? Do you know what would make you feel loved? Ask yourself: Who do you feel loved or unloved by? Your partner? Your parents? Your children? Yourself? God? Feeling Loved or Unloved by Yourself and/or God What does it mean to feel loved or unloved by yourself? You will likely feel unloved by yourself when you abandon yourself by:

When you were growing up, how often did you hear, "What will they think?" Who are "they?" Unfortunately, "they" are everyone. Many of our parents and caregivers were love and approval addicted and geared their behavior to try to have control over getting love and approval and avoiding disapproval. This was the role modeling for many of us. Our worth was determined by what "they" would think. Most of us did not see our parents or other role models defining their own worth and validating themselves.

My male best friend from my home country recently, in a state of panic, IMed me, "Where are you? I need to talk. It's really urgent." When we finally talked he was shaking in anguish: he found out his wife was cheating on him with the next-door neighbor and the guy's wife informed him at 3 am a couple of days before. He was so devastated. I always knew they had a rocky relationship and he often vented with me how unhappy he was with their relationship and his wife's behavior. But being a married woman myself I knew it wasn't all her. Marriage is just not easy period.

The way we see and value you ourselves has a huge impact on our actions, our quality of life, our happiness, and even our relationships with others. Body images is a simple term that describes how an individual views their body and appearance—whether that is “average,” “attractive,” or “bad.” Negative body image plagues many Americans, both male and female. Today’s society has a very strict image of beauty that is displayed in magazines, television and film.

Guilt is an important feeling. It is the appropriate feeling to have when we have deliberately done something hurtful or harmful to others. People who can harm others without any feelings of guilt or remorse were formerly called sociopaths or psychopathic personalities, and are now defined as ...

Superb Plan To Reconcile With An Ex Boyfriend – Get Your Ex Back; You can find a lot of advice about getting your ex boyfriend back out there. The new fad is to text your ex. What different is that than sending emails. Your guy broke up with you because of something that is bothering him. Pestering him with text, emails or phone calls will just make him more bothered and he will continue to distance himself from you. Anyone can use psychology to get an ex boyfriend back in

It took me a lengthy time to discover the correct path for the finest way to get my ex wife back again, and for quite some time, a lot of the time of 2 years it was quite very difficult avenue indeed. But immediately after realizing the way I was trying to win back the love of my wife was stupid, and truly making matters even worse I decided to do what you are executing now, and find some good high quality advice available on the internet. And now I am investing most of my spare time discussing what I think will help lead you in the correct direction for making up success...

I know, you just want to get him back. It seems like it should be simple enough. After all, you won his heart over once before; why not just do it again? Well, the problem is that the first time around you were entering new territory with a clean slate. You had the thrill and excitement of discovering each other. Your likes, your dislikes, your dreams, and your passions were all discovered together for the first time.

What does it mean to emotionally heal? It means that you know what you are thinking or doing that causes fear, anxiety, depression, guilt, fear, anger, jealousy, and so on, and how to learn from and heal these painful feelings. It means that you no longer turn to addictions to avoid loneliness, heartache, heartbreak, sorrow or grief because you know how to manage and release these painful feelings. It means that you do not feel like a victim of others' choices and instead operate from a place of personal power, taking loving care of yourself rather than being reactive.

Frequently, my clients and members of our website ask me, "Is my relationship healthy? How do I know if it is healthy?" Just as physical health is on a continuum, emotional health and relationship health are also on a continuum. And, like physical health, each person may have different criteria regarding what constitutes health. For example, some people say they are very healthy if they get a cold or flu a few times a year, while others' health criteria is that they never get sick at all.

Caring = giving to another from love, for the joy of it - as a free gift Caretaking = giving to get love, giving with an agenda attached, giving yourself up Even though the actions of caring and the actions of caretaking might look exactly the same, the intention is totally different, so the energy of the actions is also completely different.

Conflicting authority is the largest contributor to rebellion in children. When parents--authority--conflict it can cause rebellion in your children. You, as parents, need to have a united front for your children. Here are some tips on how this can be done. Rebellion is the result of conflicting authority. When authority can't provide a united front, it is very dangerous. There are several things you can do to provide a unified front before your kids. 1. Discuss rules and discipline together. Come to a full agreement on all aspects of it--before you implement them. 2.

There are many theories surrounding the effect of one’s behavior on his/her personality. The more humanistic approach as stated by Clinical psychiatrist Carl Rogers in his theory of personality explains that human behavior is “exquisitely rational” (Rogers, 1961, p.194). Rogers went on to theorize that the core of nature in man is essentially positive and he is a trustworthy organism. On the other hand, there is the belief that personality traits can be heavily influenc

Do you believe that you need a partner to be happy? My client, Adrienne, an attractive woman in her 50’s, has been married and divorced twice. She was unhappy in both marriages, but she still believes that she needs a partner to be happy. This belief continually leads her into inappropriate ...

Recovering addicts hear this all the time in 12-step programs. However, this sound bit of wisdom is rarely heeded. Many have a hard time accepting that a hiatus from intimate relationships is necessary. In their minds, dating and new relationships seem benign. “As long as I’m not ...

When we were growing up, we experienced many life situations that caused us deep heartbreak. Any time we lost someone we loved, or we were yelled at, ridiculed, shamed, ignored, not seen or connected with, physically or sexually abused, or treated in any other unloving ways, our little hearts broke. But we could not manage this intense heartbreak, so we had to learn various addictive ways of managing the feeling.

It’s not easy to move on from a painful breakup… especially if your ex-girlfriend is dating again. Even if you have already accepted the breakup, it can be devastating to find out that your ex-girlfriend is dating someone else. If you want to get her back, make sure you apply these things down below. So, what’s a person to do if they’re experiencing this heart-wrenching situation? Even if you’re happy with how your life is going, it’s still not pleasant feeling to know your ex is seeing someone else (especially if it took you a while to get over the breakup).

"I freak out when my husband even looks at another woman. I trust him not to wander, so I don't know why this upsets me so much." "My partner spends too much time with her friends and family. What's the point of being together if she's always gone a couple of nights a week?" "My wife wants to go back to school now that the children are older. She doesn't need to work, so why does she want to do this? It's going to take up way too much of her time."

In 1974, Dr. Virginia Satir presented the concept of mirroring in her groundbreaking book, "Conjoint Family Therapy." In 1975 Dr. Thomas Gordon wrote a best-selling book called "Parent Effectiveness Training." In the book he taught parents to "active listen," which ...

We all fall hard, difference is some people know how to handle the end of relationship better than others. It's not the depth of the falling-in-love that hurts the most but the height of the expectations. The higher your expectation is, the more you hurt when it ends.

There are two kinds of New Year's Resolutions: - What you are going to do to accomplish your goals - Who you want to be Many New Year's Resolutions are of the first kind: - I'm going to lose 25 pounds this year - I'm going to exercise every day - I'm going to learn self-discipline - I'm going to double my income - I'm going to learn to fly - I'm going to take piano lessons And so on....

I experienced an emotional breakup with my ex girlfriend. I would have liked to resume the relationship as soon as possible but I had to face the reality that this barely happens. My first instinct after the breakup was to call text and email my past lover. Fortunately , fact sat in and I spotted that these actions alone wouldn't bring the person I love back into my life. I'd like to debate positive steps to getting my ex back while relaying my story to readers. Positive step number one

Do you sometimes wonder why you feel so drained after being with some people, while you feel energized when being with others? Some people are energy vampires, and actually drain energy from you. How do they do this? What can you do to avoid this? WAYS PEOPLE DRAIN ENERGY Sometimes the ways ...

Are you ready to be your own person? Are you ready to move beyond neediness and into emotional freedom? Are you ready to stop needing others to make you feel that you are okay? Are you ready to learn to fill yourself with love and define your own worth? I hope so! Being emotionally dependent is a very hard way to live.

Eight Ingredients for a Lasting RelationshipnnMaintaining a good, wholesome relationship can be difficult. The question of how to best understand something as complex as human relationships has long occupied the minds of our greatest poets and philosophers and until now, this quandary has largely gone unanswered. However, like most deep questions, the answer can be described in a simple analogy -- psychology has now determined that the secret to forming a lasting relationship

After a relationship ends, it's all too easy to second-guess the decision to split up. And while reconsidering doesn't necessarily mean you should reunite, what happens if you and your ex DO decide you'd like to give the relationship another go? Maybe the time away from one another has shown you the error of your ways. Perhaps you've each had time to assess what went wrong and are now committed to a fresh start. Before you make the decision to reunite, review the following important factors. 1.

As a child Cynthia's hyperactive behavior often annoyed others. Her teachers frequently reprimanded her in school. The other students called her "stupid" and refused to let her join them in activities. At home, her father criticized her and beat her with a belt whenever her parents received a negative report from school. Due to depression, her mother tended to ignore Cynthia's needs for emotional support and attention. As a result, she grew up expecting rejection from others.

How often do you withhold the truth from someone important to you - your partner, friend, parent, child, co-worker - because you know he or she will get angry rather than care about you? How you do feel when you don't speak your truth about something that is important to you? It is likely that you feel depressed when you don't speak up for yourself. Not speaking up about something that is important to you is a way of ignoring your own feelings and needs, and very likely will lead to depression.

The following article originally appeared on www.midlifebachelor.com on June 14, 2009 ... Choosing to invest in a new relationship directly affects your own level of personal happiness especially in the near-term ... and so it is extremely important to keep your eyes and ears open, and be aware of any potential incompatibilities as early as possible. There is absolutely no shame nor harm in cutting one's losses - because you are doing everyone a favor by ending it early if yo

Relationship breakups don't always mean that the person you're breaking up with needs to be cut completely out of your life. Many people continue to have warm and satisfying friendships with their exes by making sure that their relationship breakups are done without hurting anyone more than necessary. There are situations where you know that you don't really want that person to continue to be in your life. Maybe things that happened during the relationship are just too painful. You feel like you can't forgive him or her for what they did.

Dear Dr. Neder: I have conflicting thoughts about whether or not it is okay for a female to initiate the conversation with the male. Many people that I know and even those on this board swear by the fact that it is the wrong thing to do. They say it will scare the man off or make him less interested or he'll think I'm easy or desperate. I have read your responses on this topic and I know you support the woman approaching the man.

We all have many addictive ways of avoiding feeling our painful feelings and taking responsibility for them. Some of the ways are obvious, such as using substances and processes. Some of the ways can be very subtle.

Find a perfect man by Rosemary Price psychic. Most women long to find a perfect man and those who have a man are unlikely to be able to claim he is perfect. Either he has a fault or the excitement has gone out of the relationship. The perfect man has no faults and never becomes boring. How to find your perfect man will depend very much on you. Each woman has a different idea of what her perfect man would be like and what would be ideal for one might sound horrific to another.

"I know what's coming when Robert says that we need to sit down and have a talk," Maryann told me in our phone session. "He wants to tell me everything that is wrong with me. It's not about talking - it's about wanting to have control over me. Last time he did this it was all about how I spend ...

I'd like to tell you about a game called The Triangle Game. There are 2 levels to this game, and most of us are already playing on the first level but we're not aware of it. This first level isn't really very fun -- I call it the Bermuda Triangle Game, because basically we get lost in it -- sometimes our whole lives. According to psychiatrist Stephen Karpman, there are three roles we humans unconsciously play with each other when we're in conflict -- these roles are victim, p

As ‘sleazy’ as it may sound, jealousy is one of the fastest and most effective ways to influence how your ex girlfriend is feeling after breaking up. When you make your ex jealous, you skip straight past her rational thought processes and into her deeper emotions. In some cases, making her drool with jealousy can actually make her come running back to you... especially if she’s already moving on after your relationship and doesn’t really seem to care much getting back together.

Do you believe that being "perfect" gives you control over how people feel about you?" If you do, then you are coming from 3 big false beliefs that are causing you much unhappiness. False Belief #1 "I can have control over how people feel about me." Think for a moment whether or not others have control over how you feel about them. Can someone do everything "right" and be "perfect" in their own eyes, yet you don't enjoy being around them or you don't feel connected with them?

This very simple and easy to follow procedure will help you develop strong conversation skills with people you know and people you don’t know. This skill is meant to help you build lasting connections with people and feel at ease while doing it regardless of your knowledge of the subject or topic. Proverbs 15:23 - A man hath joy by the answer of his mouth: and a word spoken in due season, how good is it! The secret, if there is one, lies in the quality of a good question. I’ll explain in a moment, but first there is another factor that must be addressed.

John Gray helps men and women understand, respect and appreciate their differences in both personal and professional relationships. John’s books have sold over 50 million copies in 50 different languages. His groundbreaking book, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, was the best-selling book of the 1990s. It laun

Breaking up in any relationship is hard and especially when your breakup is with a girl friend it is very tough to get over an ex girlfriend from your heart and soul. Everything around you is dull and meaningless and you find solace only when you are isolated from the world round you which keeps reminding you of your beloved every second. The best way to get over her thoughts from your mind is to face the true facts honestly and sincerely. You can never forget or get over you

There are many reasons why people struggle to make friends. Here are a few: - Insecurity - Selfishness - Pride - An Introvert Personality - Fear of People - Overwhelming and dominate personality - Depression But whatever the problem is, it needs to be addressed and conquered. You will never have fulfillment in life that you want unless you can achieve strong relationships. Experiencing things with others is often more enjoyable than experiencing them alone.

Rebuilding trust requires the involvement of both participants in the relationship. Initially, the person who shattered the trust will need to work hard to build the trust back. Showing remorse, being consistent, and understanding their partner's pain are all very important in building trust. The unfaithful participant will need to teach their partner that they can be a trustworthy and an emotionally safe person. The partner who was deceived, on the other hand, will also need to do some work to build the trust.

"I have a question about envy. I'm not talking about jealousy but specifically envy and how to be happy for someone else's good fortune. I feel like I have broke new ground on this issue as I have genuinely been able to feel happy for someone else recently who achieved something I hadn't but only after going through some Inner Bonding because my first reaction was shock and envy and it upset my balance for a while. I felt like there was some competition going on in my mind. I don't feel envy with friends in general but with my lovers I do.

Intentionally or not, you have created a relationship climate for all of your relationships. The quality of those relationships has a lot to do with this climate. Relationship climate has little to do with the exact words that you speak or the things that you do. You can say or do the exact same thing but have two very different relationship climates. It has much more to do with what is going on inside of you at the time. You can do something nice for someone from two different positions or a whole range in between. Lets say that you that you decide to make a nice meal for someone.

So the relationship is over and you're wondering how to deal with a break up. Maybe it's the first break up you've had that really upset you. Or maybe it's not your first and you're looking for answers because even after all this time you still don't know how to deal with a break up. When a relationship ends you can have several reactions. You might be missing your ex boyfriend or girlfriend. Or you might be angry as hell and wonder what you ever saw in them in the first place. You'll probably feel a variety of things, and maybe several different emotions in the course of a single day.

Ever tried to penetrate the tough guy facade? Or been turned away by the ‘I don’t need you or anyone else’ face? There is a secret to winning someone’s heart. This article does not guarantee that you will it merely equips you with the best tools to do so. It does not matter if the situation is a boy trying to win the heart of a girl, a parent trying to get through to his rebellious teenager, an employer trying to help a disgruntled employee, or a wife trying to break down emotional barriers in her husband, the answer to accomplishing this is the same: understanding.

Why would someone be afraid of intimacy? Don't we all want to feel close and connected with someone? Yes, of course we want that, but there are very real fears that keep us from opening to emotional intimacy in a primary relationship. The Fears What is the first fearful thought you think when you think of feeling close to someone? "I'm going to be rejected or I'm going to be abandoned." "I'm going to be smothered, engulfed, controlled. I will lose myself."

I am sitting with Bryan at one of my 5-Day Inner Bonding Intensives. Bryan is talking about one thing after another, and I cannot follow him at all. Nor can I connect with him. My loneliness in sitting with him is giving me important information - that he is in his head, in his wounded self, protecting against his feelings and responsibility for his feelings. "Bryan, would you be willing to take a deep breath and put your focus into your heart?"

Desperate To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back – Do This; There is no doubt about how desperate you are to get your ex boyfriend back after a breakup. That is why you chase him and accept his rejection. You will do anything to get your ex back in your arms and that includes losing your pride and self respect. What is wrong with this picture? In one word - everything! You will never get your ex back as long as he can keep you chasing him. A complete solution to help you get your ex

We all want to be respected by others. And, we would all love to have control over whether or not others treat us respectfully. Is this realistic? Nigel, one of my clients, has a lot of confusion about this issue. He believes that people, especially his wife and children, "should" be respectful to him, and he gets very angry when they treat him disrespectfully - which they often do. What Nigel has failed to understand - which is what led him to seek my help - is that others are often a mirror of how we treat ourselves.

Hello Doc! I've been dating a guy for awhile now. I haven't had many relationships, so I'm getting used to moving out of the honeymoon stage. My problem is, I know it's normal to get used to people and kind of let your faults come through as you get more comfortable with the person. I’m ...

"I feel so frustrated when Mark is late," complained Shauna, during our phone session. "What am I supposed to do with all this frustration?" Shauna believed that her feeling of frustration was being caused by Mark. But this was not the case.

Dear Dr. Romance: Is it possible to love someone without ever dating them? If so, how can you tell that you are in love? Dear Reader:

Which statement do you believe is the most true? Happiness brings you financial successFinancial success brings you happinessYou might be surprised to learn that research suggests the first statement to be the most true. Again, which statement to you believe is the most true? Happiness is ...

Why A Man Won’t Emotionally Commit Have you ever hid your true feelings from a man because you thought you'd "scare him away?" This is a frustrating situation. Shouldn't you be able to just be yourself, and have him love you for who you are? Unfortunately, there's a common mistake that accidentally makes men withdraw- even when you're being true to your feelings and yourself. Let me explain...

I grew up with a very angry mother who would attack me out of the blue. As a highly sensitive only child, the fear and heartbreak of being treated so unlovingly was unbearable. So rather than feel the hurt, I numbed it out by learning to stay in my head rather than being present in my body, and by focusing on caretaking others' feelings. The only way I could survive was to not know that I was being so hurt.

Are you love or approval addicted?

How your ex has conducted herself since you broke up may give you an idea about whether or not she wants to come back to you. It’s a pretty sure bet that she’s not going to be direct and tell you this plainly, but rather you can tell through her actions and behaviors. They only suggest that they want you back because she is probably a little embarrassed about leaving you to begin with. But none the less, actions speak louder than words. Here are 5 signs to look out for th

We've been told that the way to love is pretty linear and straightforward with guys. They take us to a first date, they like us, they make plans and ask us to be exclusive within a month or two, they fall in love and pop the question. Trust me when I say that very often guys don't know how they feel about you in the long run nor do they know what they want. And often the route isn't that straightforward either. That's WHY giving the right impression in the beginning is very important. That's why I don't advise calling a guy up.

Over the years, I have taken the time to spend deep reflection on all my relationships with friends and family. I enjoy looking at my life through a different lens as I evolve and embrace the lessons I’ve learned along the way. As the seasons change, so do we. We grow into different people based on our life’s lessons.

When I was in school training to be a psychotherapist, one of my professors introduced me to a concept that I find very valuable: "bad faith." We are in bad faith with ourselves and others when we are out of alignment with what is true for "who we really are." Who we really are - who is ...

Self-responsibility both reflects and generates self-esteem. People with high self-esteem feel that they are in charge of their lives. They have a sense of agency and self-efficacy. They take responsibility for their feelings, actions, and lives. It also means that you take responsibility for the consequences of your choices and behaviors, both positive and negative outcomes, rather than blame yourself or others. It requires a desire to review and learn from your mistakes in order to seek solutions and improvement.r

According to the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, men and women have very different primary needs. Men need appreciation, acceptance, and trust. Without these three things in a relationship, there are often countless communication problems. If you want to understand your Martian ...According to the book Me

Popular culture is focused on attracting love, yet you’ll only be able to receive as much love as you give to yourself. You’ll deflect or guard love that doesn’t resonate with you – like a compliment you don’t believe. The opposite is also true. You’ll allow others to abuse you a bit less than you abuse yourself. So if you desire lasting love, learn to love yourself, because your relationships will parallel your relationship with yourself.

I have spent many years trying to discover the ONE thing - the one vital choice - that leads to healing and joy, or to suffering. Over 35 years ago I discovered an essential piece of the puzzle: that we each have only one to two intents at any given moment - to protect against pain and responsibility for it, or to open to learning from our pain and take responsibility for it. In other words - to learn from pain or to run from pain with our various addictions.

The following are signs of a controlling relationship: 1. Flattery – Flattery is different than a compliment – A compliment adds to a person. It builds within you a sense of confidence free from any ulterior motives. Flattery on the other hand is insincere and selfish in its motive – which is simply to gain a greater sense of control. Flattery always deals with comparisons. The flatterer will privately build you up in the process of tearing others around you down. 2.

Ed consulted with me because he was conce ed about his 16 year-old son. "He doesn't have any friends. I'd like to spend more time with him but there doesn't seem to be anything he likes to do." "How does he spend his time?" I asked. "Playing video games." Betsy consulted with me because she was conce ed about her husband's lack of motivation.

"Seek first to understand and then to be understood." - Stephen Covey How often have you heard yourself say: "I just want someone to understand me." "I just want to be heard." "I feel invisible." "I just want to be seen." I know what it feels like to not be understood, heard, or seen, as I spent most of the first 45 years of my life feeling invisible. It feels terrible.

Do you treat your friends with love and respect, but when it's their turn, they let you down? Do you end up feeling resentful when your friends just don't give into the friendship as much as you do? Knowing how to deal with this resentment in a positive way--or even better, avoiding it ...

I was attending a presentation by Pulitzer Prize winning author, Frank McCourt, discussing the ins and outs of writing a memoir. Frank McCourt won the prestigious award for his heart wrenching description of his impoverished life in Limerick, Ireland titled "Angela’s Ashes".

Being in a relationship is definitely something you should look forward to --- the feelings are just overwhelming that you'll be crazy not to succumb to the passions of love. Having someone special in your life contributes to your mental and emotional growth and it keeps you inspired and motivated all day everyday. So to add up spice to your relationship, making it never a dull day for you and your girlfriend, here are a few naughty things to do with your girl --- celebrate t

By Michael Fehlauer Long-term healthy relationships are possible. There are fundamental skills, as well as a perspective in the way we approach our relationships, that enable us to experience solid friendships. The people we allow into our world either add to our lives or subtract from our lives. What are the characteristics of the type of friends that add to us? Here are six attributes of great friends: 1. They allow the friendship to be governed by the law of love – Three characteristics of love are acceptance, understanding and commitment.

Admiration One thing that men crave is admiration. As boys, they fantasize about scoring the winning point in the championship game, or being applauded by thousands of screaming fans. As they grow up, they reach a point where they know the championship game or rock star fantasy is just…a fantasy. They probably aren’t going to be the President or the CEO. They’re just another regular guy. And the only source of true admiration is going to be a family. Respect Every day, men

Lindsay called me for counseling because her boyfriend of 18 months had just ended their relationship. Lindsay, 28, had been sure that Jake was "Mr. Right." "I am so heartbroken," sobbed Lindsay. "I don't know how I'm going to get through this. It feels like my heart is breaking apart. I love Jake so much and I thought he loved me too. I don't get how this could have happened, or why it happened. I feel like I can't live without him." "Tell me about your relationship with Jake."

Expressing yourself is not always easy. There can be many things that go wrong when you try to express yourself. Misunderstandings are perhaps the most destructive communication mishaps in relationships. So how do you solve it? No method is perfect, especially when you are dealing with someone else's perceptions, feelings, and desires. Expressing yourself is not always easy. There can be many things that go wrong when you try to express yourself. Misunderstandings are perhaps the most destructive communication mishaps in relationships. So how do you solve it?

Recently, there was an NBC Nightline special about a doctor that fell for a Nigerian money scam. You know, those e-mails that promise you millions of dollars in return for accepting a package on behalf of their government. The reporters where wondering how such an educated individual could fall prey for such an obvious scam. Their answer was: he's book smart, but not street smart.

"He is always blaming me for the bad things that happen in his life, and then he tells me it's my controlling him that is making him so angry. He yells at me and puts me down rather than deal with his own feelings. How can I get him to see that he is the one trying to control me? How can I ...

This may seem self-explanatory, but as we all know not everything is as easy as it looks. Courting a woman is a process; there is no doubt about it. Time and effort and required to successfully gain the admiration and/or love of any young lady. The common problem that men run into, while making an attempt at this, is assuming that “what is good for the goose must be good for the gander.” In truth, men and women think and perceive things very differently. It's important, as a guy, to put yourself in her shoes.

The key to control of your anger is to be slow to anger. No one can turn anger on and off like a light switch. But having a very, very long fuse is the key to anger management. There are three attributes that are common, however, to someone that is slow to anger. GRACIOUS People who have learned to be gracious are very hard to offend and are often very slow to anger. To be gracious is the ability to allow someone else to go before you. But it is more than that.

Start With a Clean Slate … and aim for perfect love For the best summer—and relationship—ever, start with a clean slate. Wipe away the black marks and start fresh, aiming, once again, for perfect love. Only this time, do it with perfect love in clear view. Know what you’re going for, and you have a better shot at it. According to Robert J. Ste berg, a psychologist and psychometrician born in NJ, perfect love is a high level of intimacy, passion, and commitment. • Intimacy: Psychological knowledge shared, and connection based on that knowledger

Our society is filled with verbal and emotional abuse, from radio and TV commentators and presidential candidates, to parents, educators, employers and managers. As Patricia Evans states in "The Verbally Abusive Relationship", the old adage, "Sticks and stones can break my bones but words will ...

"Why don't I have friends?" asked Isabella in one of our phone counseling sessions. Isabella, 25 and very attractive, was having a problem that many people have. Sometimes, if people don't keep their high school friends or meet friends in college or at work, they may have trouble making friends. Yet there are many people who seem to be able to make friends wherever they go. What is the difference betwee Isabella and these people who easily make friends? Actually, there is a big difference.

What if there really is ONE major cause of relationship problems, one issue that if you address, would change everything? The good news and the bad news is - there is! The good news is that it makes it easier to understand why you might be having problems in your relationship. The bad news is that to resolve the issue takes a deep personal commitment to heal. The one cause is - self-abandonment. Let's take a look at what self-abandonment is and why it causes almost all the problems in relationships.

My definition of emotional freedom is being free from feeling like a victim of and controlled by our emotions. We are emotionally free when we know how to learn from and manage our feelings so that we are not reactive to them and they don't control us. How Do We Attain Emotional Freedom? Emotional freedom is the result of learning how to take emotional responsibility, i.e., responsibility for our feelings. What does this mean and how do we do it? There are two different kinds of feelings: wounded feelings and core feelings.

If you're the kind of woman that loves adventure, life in the fast lane, and living every day to its fullest, then you should date an Aries. Aries are fire signs, and they have all the wild vigor of a forest fire. These strong people are not afraid of anything and will let nothing stop them. They have a tendency to be very dominant, so if that is what you are looking for in a partner, they are good ones. Aries also can be very aggressive, which can be good or bad, depending o

Erasing the memory of a loved one is not easy especially if you have been in a beautiful relationship which has suddenly gone sour. You experience a lot of pain and negativity when you lose your self-confidence and wonder what really went wrong. How to erase someone from your memory? Many people are afraid to introspect and understand why things happened the way they did. Men find it difficult to ask questions when their girlfriend walks out because they have found someone new.

Strengthen Values. Synonyms for the word “values” are; principles, standards, morals, ethics, ideals… just to name a few. These are the qualities that DEFINE US AT THE CORE OF OUR BEING. Without these things YOU would not be YOU. It’s useful to know what your values are because they help you make choices about what you commit to in your life as well as what you commit your life to. If you commit your life and energy to something that really violates or even neglects one of your core values, you may start to feel resentful and frustrated.

Dr. Neder: I am a 36 year old woman who has been single for 3 years and I'm tired of it. I feel I'm of average attractiveness, I have a good job as an accountant, I run (marathons even!), hike, travel, have lots of friends, etc. I often hear advice from my attached friends, but the advice is often conflicting. It's either, "Stop looking and you'll find the man of your dreams!" or, "It's hard work to date - get yourself out there!"

Love Addicts create unhealthy and painful attachments to romance, people, sex, and the euphoria of love relationships. Love Addicts commonly search outside of themselves to feel alive and fill their unmet emotional needs. Love Addicts unconsciously look for others to “fix”-“rescue” them from the fear, pain, and discomfort of their lives. Being a Love Addict can be an emotionally painful, lonely, and baffling experience.

The relationship duet is the dance of intimacy all couples do. One partner moves in, the other backs-up. Partners may reverse roles, but always maintain a certain space between them. The unspoken agreement is that the Pursuer chase the Distancer forever, but never catch-up, and that the Distancer keep running, but never really get away. They're negotiating the emotional space between them. We all have needs for both autonomy and intimacy - independence and dependency, yet all simultaneously fear both being abandoned (acted by the Pursuer), and being too close (acted by the Distancer).

"I keep getting into more and more debt, but I can't seem to stop. I do great for a while, and then I just have to go shopping and buy stuff. This is going to ruin my life if I don't stop, but how do I stop?" Mary Beth is addicted to spending. What does this mean and how can she stop?

For many men (and women) it seems the word, relationship has become a “bad” word. Remember when you were in grade school, worried about getting caught using one of George Carlin’s “7 Words You Can Never Say on Television?” These words were loaded. You discussed them with your friends. You questioned their meaning. You practiced saying them, hoping you wouldn’t get caught, or that you had enough zeal, zest behind each one so that the syllables would roll off your tongue easily. Flawlessly. And in this same way, I hear women questioning the use of the “r” word.

Each of us experiences some kind of loss in this lifetime. People come and go from our lives, whether by choice or circumstance. How we cope with these events affects how we move forward, how we see the world, and how we feel about our lives. I’m not the only person to have been through a divorce. When my first marriage ended after 17 years, I thought I handled it well. It was an amicable parting, and we maintained a friendly relationship. But then a few years later my sister’s husband died unexpectedly.

rnThe hardest part of going through a breakup with your girlfriend is when you get the feeling that you want to be back with her. If you want to reconcile with your ex-girlfriend, then you probably are going through a lot of emotions right now. Sometimes she's all you can think about and then other times, you just don't know. Add in to the mix that you know that a lot of guys have a hard time getting back with their ex-girlfriend and it's easy to see why you can feel confused

When I married my ex-husband in 1963, I was determined to create a stable, loving relationship. I wanted an intact family where we could raise our children and share the joys of our grandchildren. We did raise our children together, but ended the marriage after 30 years. We do get to share the joys of our grandchildren, but as friends rather than partners. Through the process of our difficult marriage, and my 43 years of counseling individuals and couples, I learned much about why it is better for some relationships to end.

The Encarta World English Dictionary defines "confidence" as "a belief or self-assurance in your ability to succeed." We all know people who appear to be very confident professionally, yet when it comes to personal relationships, appear to be very insecure. Personal confidence is totally different than professional confidence in that personal confidence is about who you are and professional confidence is about what you do. Personal Confidence

Once you've piqued a man/woman's interest enough for him/her to be attracted to you, how do you keep him/her there? One way to enhance the attraction and keep his/her interest is play hard-to-get. Playing hard-to-get when done right is much more important than most people think, realize or are ...

Are we our feelings, or we just have them? Sometimes it seems that we are made of them. Feelings pervade our every day lives. How do we manage them and how we use them or abuse them? We have good feelings and bad feelings. When we feel good we appear to be a totally different person than when we feel bad. How do we manage them and how we use them or abuse them? This is the subject of today's article.

CULTIVATING SEXUAL ENERGY Some questions I get are “how is sexual energy different than the rest of the energy of the body”. It isn’t different, it’s just how you channel and direct your energy as a whole. We need to first understand energy to understand how it moves and flows through the different areas of the body. Energy is in a continual flow throughout our body. The electrons have their own vibratory movements and rhythms. Our physical body learns to find its own rhythm and adjust to it.

There are three million cases of domestic violence reported each year. Many more go unreported. Emotional abuse precedes violence, but is rarely discussed. Although both men and women may abuse others, an enormous number of women are subjected to emotional abuse. Unfortunately, many don’t even know it. Why is Emotional Abuse Hard to Recognize?

How do I know if and when it's time to break up? There's a lot of good in the guy I’m dating, but the bad is unacceptable. What do I do? I keep waiting for the guy I’m seeing to make the changes I need. How long do I wait? And what if he never changes? Chances are, at some point in your dating past or present one or more of the above questions has weighed heavily on your mind. The truth is, there’s no one size fits all answer to these questions. However, your gut knows what you want and need to do. It's up to you to tune in, listen, and honor what you know is right -- for you!

Communication is so important that it can make or break a relationship, is critical to success, and instantly reflects your self-esteem to listeners – for better or for worse. Assertive communication commands respect, projects confidence, and inspires influence. It's respectful, direct, honest, open, non-threatening and non-defensive. It's not demanding, aggressive, or manipulative.

I got this email today from a good friend of mine and just had to share... One of the things, unless we're REALLY lucky in life, is that we are never taught exactly 'how to kiss'. Some get it and some don't, but mostly we learn by trial and error. Knowing how to kiss a woman the right way ...

Exactly how do you go about apologizing to your boyfriend once you realize it's necessary? Apologies imply fault, and for many people, the two hardest things to do are to admit they were wrong and say they're sorry. These steps are designed to help your boyfriend overcome whatever issues he's dealing with now, so that he can accept your apology and the two of you can move on: How to Apologize to Your Boyfriend Step 1 Your timing can be critical. Trying to offer an apology whi

Occasionally making improvements is easily achievable for most people. While continuous improvement is mostly unachievable; however, striving for it separates the winners from the losers. There are many areas in your life that may need improvement: career, relationships, learning, finances, emotional/mental, and spiritual. There are also hundreds of ways to improve your lot in life----you can be better, do something better, increase your awareness, learn something new, or create radical change.

How to avoid being hustled. Not one day goes by without someone telling me that they have been conned out of their hard earned money. But when you analyse everything they tell you you can see how it happened.

Relationships end for a number of reasons and sometimes it is the best decision, at the time, for both parties involved. Unfortunately with break ups, sometimes one person is still emotionally attached and may find moving on hard to do, while the other party is emotionally ready to move on from the union. This can be a very painful and emotionally stressful time. There are, however, certain things you can do to make it easier for you to move on from a break up. Severe or mini

A member of Inner Bonding Village asked the following question: "I'm a little confused. My mother is visiting me, and sometimes we have a nice time together. But often her way of bonding with me or anyone else is to talk about other people's problems. Most of the time I find it draining. It feels like she is never happy and uses her 'caring' and problem solving abilities to avoid something else."

Does anger have power? Are you being powerful when you are angry? The answers to these questions depend on what you mean by power.

No matter if you are married, live together, live apart from each other, or you are in a long distance relationship; it is important to make some time for just the two of you. Our days can be filled quickly with the day to day responsibilities of work, family and household duties. Those responsibilities can quickly consume your day and night and before you know it, your free time exists only in your sleep. We can get so tired and worn out from everything else, that by the time you can enjoy each other’s company, all you can do is say goodnight at best.

"Tende ess and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair but manifestations of strength and resolution." ~Kahlil Gibran Over the 42 years that I have been counseling individuals and couples, I have heard countless times: "If I cry in movies people will think I'm weak." "If I'm kind, people will take advantage of me." "If I'm gentle, people will see me as weak instead of powerful." "Being emotional is a sign of weakness."

Gina consulted with me because her marriage was falling apart. She had discovered that her husband was having yet another affair, and when he was with her, he was either angry or withdrawn. She had requested numerous times that he join her in couples therapy, but he had no interest in healing ...

There is a distinct difference between courtship and dating, though many people are not quite aware of it. In fact, many people are not even aware that a courtship even exists. Why should they? Our society has fallen into a habit of dating, then suddenly marrying. Divorce runs rampant, and many people think of marriage as disposable. That being said, it is important for us to understand what a courtship is, and why it is important to pursue one at some point in time. First we will talk a bit about dating so that you understand precisely what it is.

Rianna and Joel consulted with me because they kept getting stuck in their relationship whenever there was a conflict. It wasn't the issue itself that kept creating a problem, but how they were dealing with the issue. Married for 7 years with three children, they loved each other deeply, and were both distressed when they were disconnected due to their inability to work through conflict. "Rianna," I said in our conjoint phone session, "I'd like to hear about the issue from your point of view."

It may be appalling to watch high school students or college kids getting wasted. And it's easy to wonder how grown adults can cling to a habit as destructive as alcoholism. But drinking in excess has an important role in our culture. For many people, alcohol plays its first important role as a social lubricant. People who are shy discover their outgoing side under the influence of alcohol. People who feel the need to fill every moment of silence with talk can suddenly find peace by being quiet. Uncoordinated individuals dance, and folks who lack a sense of humor are able to laugh.

"I feel like giving up," Emma told me in our first phone session. "I've worked and worked on myself and I'm still miserable. I've had years of therapy and I still feel unbearably depressed. Nothing is working." "It sounds to me like you are abandoning yourself."

For many people, a trial separation means the end of your marriage. For others, it means a new beginning for their marriage. Marriage separation gives couples a chance to evaluate what they want out of their life and how their spouse fits in. If you and your spouse are temporarily separated to save your marriage, you will have to learn how to date your spouse. Dating your spouse under a neutral social setting can great impact whether or not you guys can save your marriage. However, there are some important things to keep in mind when you are your spouse are dating each other again.

"I feel awful saying this," Mary told me during one of our phone counseling sessions, "but I often wish my husband would die. I feel like a terrible person saying this, but I think about it a lot." "I hear this fairly often," I responded. "You are thinking this, not because you are a terrible person, but because you feel trapped and you don't know how to get out of the trap." "But my husband is a really nice person and he loves me. Yet all I want to do is get away."

INTRODUCTION As long as you are not TURE TO YOURSELF you harm your relationships. Finding out what prevents you from being true to yourself is vital for initiating the necessary changes and cultivate a successful intimacy. WHAT DOES IT MEAN “NOT BEING TRUE TO YOURSELF”?

As human beings, we live our lives with certain expectations. For emotionally healthy individuals, expectations are more likely to be realistic and rational -- based on reality. For individuals whose emotional health is less-than healthy, expectations are often unrealistic and impractical – and this certainly is the case for the love addict in an addictive relationship. A RELATIONSHIP BASED ON FANTASY = UNREALISTIC/IDEALISTC EXPECTATIONS = ADDICTIVE LOVE The Love addict enters relationships with highly unrealistic expectations

"You may have a fresh start at any moment you choose, for this thing that we call 'failure' is not the falling down, but the staying down."--Mary Pickford, 1893-1979, Actress and producer

Self-consciousness can certainly make it difficult to attract and to keep healthy relationships. Not only can it keep you from building new relationships, it can cause needy behavior, jealousy and clinginess...all the things which kill attraction and which drive people out of your life. However, if you’ve had problems with self-doubt, there’s nothing to feel bad about and no matter how impossible it seems right now, you CAN wipe out self-consciousness and become more confiden

"Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us." --Stephen R. Covey, Author and Speaker This is a powerful freedom. And, from my point of view, another way of putting this is that the ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide our own intent: - To protect against pain with our controlling behavior - To learn about what is loving to ourselves and others When our intent is to learn about love, that is when we get to decide how others will affect us.

While we all feel the need to be loved and enjoy good company and relationships there comes a time when we are getting attention from someone or have been seeing someone that we are not really interested in. Either we were never interested in them in the first place or we have had a relationship with them and enjoyed seeing them and now things have changed. How to dump an admirer is a whole new thing because they may genuinely be decent and nice but just not of interest to you. You need to temper being firm with being fair and kind and sticking to your decision.

Forgiving an affair is a real challenge Few events in your life will be as devastating as learning that your partner has been cheating on you. Many couples will decide to end the relationship at that point, but those that decide to try to stick it out and make it work may find themselves in a stronger, more committed relationship. Remember, You're Not the One Who Cheated. Many people are very clever at deflecting the blame for their transgressions. Don't let this happen - che

There are four causes why women dump men. With as little as one of these things in the relationship, the woman will eventually leave the man. We will go over the four occasions so as you can see if your own relationship may need some improvement. The first basis is control, which can come from either the man or woman. When a man or woman is controlling, they will drive their partner away from them, even if the relationship is otherwise excellent. Women specifically like being

What if there were just two choices you could make to insure that next year would be wonderful? There actually are, and these choices are quite simple in concept, yet not easy to do. They are not things you do on the outside, such as exercising your body (which is always a good thing to do!) but ...

The dilemmas of codependent men aren’t talked about. Unlike women, men don’t discuss their relationship problems with friends and family. Instead, they internalize their pain. Many are in denial, suffer in silence, or become numb to their needs and feelings. They shun attention and try to do the right thing and be good sons, husbands, and fathers, focusing instead on making a living and meeting the needs of their wives and children. These codependent men sacrifice themselves and believe that their needs, including the need for time away from their wives, are selfish.

Self Improvement has become mainstream. In the last few years, since I have been writing articles and submitting them to article sites, I’ve noticed that the category of “Self Improvement” has been showing up lately when it was never there before. To me, this is very good news. But what does it ...

Are you trying to figure out if your ex girlfriend is still in love with you? It's not too hard to decipher her actions and interpret how she feels about you. You can easily tell if she is over you. Her talks with you would lack substance, that is if she ever talks to you at all. She'll also be busy with various things in her life. And if she has a new guy in her life, then that's the most obvious sign of all. Simply, don't hold it against her if she has moved on.

How often do you find yourself in an intense argument over a disagreement? Too often, relationships tear apart due to disagreements. Why do we feel the NEED to be right? If someone does not agree with you why give them the cold shoulder? Is it really worth it? Does it make you feel good? Wouldn’t it be easier to agree to disagree; to allow one another to have their OWN thoughts and opinions on any given subject? Isn’t this what makes each one of us unique? Can you imagine

In my many years alive and in business, I have used many methods, tools and systems in order to accomplish my goals, carry out my plans each year AND Be Successful at the Process AND the Results! I have found there are 5 VERY IMPORTANT STEPS I Must Consistently Take in order to make things happen in my life. I have used all of these with much success! And so can You! This is what I do... First I have to think of what I want and second I need to get a vision of it; I have to be able to visually see it, taste it, smell it, hear it.

"Why would my boyfriend cheat on me?" "I'm pretty sure my wife is cheating on me. I want to know why." "I know that my husband has been cheating on me for years. I don't get why he does this." Why do people cheat on their partners? Why do others have affairs that their partners know about? Here are some of the reasons for cheating that I have encountered in my many years of counseling.

In my work with couples, one of the most conflicting things I hear is, “my wife is the most important thing to me,” or “my marriage is definitely a priority,” yet, when we dig deep into a typical “day in the life” of these individuals, there is little or no time devoted at all to the partner or to the relationship.

This is what the dictionary says about what we mean by Humility: humility |(h)yo??milit?| noun a modest or low view of one's own importance; humbleness. But is this really enough to grasp the whole importance humility plays, or does NOT play in our lives? Is being humble a positive or negative trait? Humble (v.) and humiliate (v.) sound similar, but humiliate emphasizes shame and the loss of self-respect and usually takes place in public, while humble is a milder term implying a lowering of one's pride or rank. So, why and how is this important in a relationship?

You are dating a five-year-old. Yes, that man across the dinner table from you—the one with beard stubble and crow’s feet—is actually a five-year-old boy. So are you. All of us retain our experiences as children throughout our lives. And when we are fighting with our boyfriends there’s a good chance that our inner five-year-old vulnerabilities have been triggered. Here’s an example. “Max”* gets furious when his boyfriend “Bill” yells a request from the downstairs office.

Our country is stretched to the limit due to the cost of health care. Even with the new health care bill, there will be on going conflict over what we should do to provide people with affordable health care. But the reason that the problem seems irresolvable is a very complex one.

1. Safe relationships involve suspending judgment – I can’t begin to recount the times I’ve jumped to conclusions regarding my judgment of someone’s motives. Even though “what” someone has done is clear, “why” they did it is rarely as obvious. It takes time and patience to discover what is in someone’s heart and what motive was behind their behavior. 2. Safe relationships involve celebrating differences - The difference between you and others is a reason for celebration.

Do you live your life with your heart mostly open or mostly closed? Do you spend most of your time protecting against rejection or being taken advantage of, or most of your time open to sharing love with others? As children, many people had very heartbreaking experiences that caused them to close their heart. What experiences led to you closing your heart?

Let the dating begin! 10 Common Sense Rules for Healthy Dating Determine COMPATIBILITY before making a sexual or long-term COMMITMENT. *Dating is defined as the information gathering stage of an adult relationship designed to determine the overall compatibility of a potential life partner. 1. Avoid alcohol and substance abuse. Getting drunk or high on a date is like attending a job interview intoxicated. Alcohol abuse and illegal drug use sabotage healthy relationships. 2

Many mental health professionals do not understand the 12-Step recovery process, unless they have participated in a 12-Step program. Although they may encourage their clients to do so, they may feel perplexed or intimated, or act patronizing. Often, therapists don’t realize that the 12-Steps are not merely an antidote for addiction, but are guidelines for nothing less than a total personality transformation.

I want to be happy. Do you want to be happy? I don’t know about you, but whether you are single, in a relationship, or married, wouldn’t you like to be happy? I know it is cliché to say, but one way to be happy is to be happy with YOU first! Yes, psychiatrists and psychologists know exactly what they are talking about when it comes to this and those extra dollars you are paying, is not for nothing…lol.

In these trying and troubled times, it can be difficult to get the feelings of “impending doom” out of your head. War, terrorism, the bad economy, you read about it in the newspaper, see headlines on the internet, and watch the war coverage on TV. It’s natural with this level of exposure to ...In these trying and

Weight loss - such a "big" topic! Every month another book or program is out by another expert on weight loss. Everyone wants to know the secret to losing weight. Weight used to be a major issue for me. Losing weight was never out of my thoughts, and I can't tell you how many different diets, pills and programs I tried until I discovered some "secrets" that have worked for me for many years now. - Learn to disce which part of you determines what and when you eat, as well as how much you eat.

We all know that relationships are very challenging. 52% of married people reach their 15th anniversary and only 33% reach their 25th anniversary. I have been counseling individuals and couples for 40 years and I believe that I have discovered a major cause of relationship problems - if not ...