Michael Fehlauer
Free
Relationship, Marriage and Family Development Expert
Michael Fehlauer Quick Facts
- Main Areas
- Relationships, Marriage and Family Development
- Best Sellers
- Life Without Fear, Exposing Spiritual Abuse
- Career Focus
- Author, Speaker, Consultant
Michael Fehlauer has been married to Bonnie over 30 years. They have experienced both the height of success and the devastation of failure. As a result, Michael Fehlauer and Bonnie Fehlauer have a strong desire to see the same healing they have experienced happen in the lives of others. Michael Fehlauer and Bonnie Fehlauer have traveled extensively throughout the world holding marriage and family conferences.
Their focus is to bring hope to hurting people by offering solid solutions to the mindsets that result in self-destructive behaviors which chip away at the very foundation of our relationships.
Michael Fehlauer is the author of Life Without Fear and Exposing Spiritual Abuse. Michael and Bonnie reside in Corpus Christi, Texas.
Articles by this expert
SelfGrowth articles and saved writing connected to this expert.
Article
How to be Happy in Marriage
1. Don’t look to others to make you happy – The first step in discovering how to be happy in marriage is recognizing the true source of happiness. In most relationships we are initially attracted to another person because they make us feel good about ourselves. Yet, if the marriage is to grow we must realize that it is unfair to make our mate the primary source of our happiness.
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Internet Safety Tips to Protect Your Relationships
Internet safety has increasingly become a significant issue in the area of relationships. A common and obvious threat to your home and relationships is the subject of pornography. Pornographic material from the internet comes in two ways: solicited and unsolicited. Unsolicited material is sent to your inbox. An estimated 30 % of the unsolicited emails sent to the over 30 million users is pornographic or racist in nature. Solicited material is something a computer user seeks. There are over 70,000 pornographic sites that are available online.
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Your Emotional Health and Your Relationships
Your relationships are affected by your emotional health. The healthier you are emotionally the stronger your relationships will be with others. The best thing you can do for your spouse, family and loved ones is to take care of yourself. Here are some tips on how to take care of yourself so you can better care for others: 1. Your emotional health requires you to listen to your emotions – Even though you can’t afford to be controlled by your emotions they are often an indicator of how you are handling the stresses of life.
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Stepping Out of the Shadow of Shame
In looking at the shadow of shame I am reminded of a story author Max Lucado tells about that took place in the early seventies. One sunny summer afte oon two sisters were abducted by two men as they came out of a convenience store in Casper Wyoming. The two men drove the two girls to a canyon bridge, where they brutally beat and raped the older sister.
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Creating Emotionally Safe Relationships
1. Safe relationships involve suspending judgment – I can’t begin to recount the times I’ve jumped to conclusions regarding my judgment of someone’s motives. Even though “what” someone has done is clear, “why” they did it is rarely as obvious. It takes time and patience to discover what is in someone’s heart and what motive was behind their behavior. 2. Safe relationships involve celebrating differences - The difference between you and others is a reason for celebration.
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Signs of a Controlling Relationship
The following are signs of a controlling relationship: 1. Flattery – Flattery is different than a compliment – A compliment adds to a person. It builds within you a sense of confidence free from any ulterior motives. Flattery on the other hand is insincere and selfish in its motive – which is simply to gain a greater sense of control. Flattery always deals with comparisons. The flatterer will privately build you up in the process of tearing others around you down. 2.
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3 Relationships That Empower Our Lives
A great example of relationships that empower is told by Willie Morris in Parade magazine. The story is about major league baseball player Jackie Robinson. Jackie Robinson was the first black man to play major league baseball. Breaking baseball’s color barrier, he faced jeering crowds in every stadium. While playing one day in his home stadium in Brooklyn he committed a critical error.The fans began to ridicule him. He stood at second base humiliated.
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Christian Marriage Revealed
1. The Christian marriage is revealed in the creation of man– In the second chapter of the Bible we find God’s purpose regarding the marriage union. In Genesis 2:7 we read, “The LORD God formed man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.” The term “breath of life” in the Hebrew is actually translated the “breath of lives.” When God breathed life into Adam He also imparted the essence of Eve’s life as well. 2.
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Surviving Infidelity
Surviving infidelity may not result in your marriage being saved, but it does include you finding the strength to live out your life in God's peace and hope. Yet, once infidelity has taken place, what are the necessary steps in surviving infidelity? The following principles are absolutely key not only for your emotionally health, but key if the relationship is going to survive. 1. Pray and ask God what He wants you to do. Cry out to Him in all your pain. Listen for His answer. Wait until you know for sure. Don’t let your spouse pressure you into making a quick decision.
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Trust in Relationships
The fundamental importance of trust in relationships, and the destruction that happens when that trust is violated became a reality to me several years ago. It’s still a vivid memory; ugly and detailed accusations, followed by denials from me. I lied, got caught and our world crashed. At this point the details aren’t important. What’s important is I had betrayed the trust of my wife, my family and my friends; as well as the trust of thousands who had put their trust in me. So much was lost.
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Marriage Tips
<u>1. Spend time together</u> – One of the marriage tips I want to initially suggest requires the importance of spending time together. Even though this point seems too obvious to mention, it is still surprising how this simple truth can get away from us. Recently Reader’s Digest reported about 1001 couples who were surveyed regarding the elements they value the most in marriage. The statistics were interesting with the importance of laughter being 52%, compatibility 30%, quality sex 13% and frequency of sex just 9%.
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Trust in Marriage
A bridge spans the gap between two locations. Trust in marriage spans the gap between two individuals. 4 ½ years ago, my heart was broken with betrayal in my marriage. A huge chasm spanned the space between me and my husband. My trust in Mike was completely shattered. All I could do was take baby steps of forgiveness. Creating a trusting relationship out of that horrible void was the challenge that loomed ahead. Today, I can say that we have experienced the miracle of re-built trust. It is possible to re-establish trust in marriage!
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