Susan Derry
BEd, MSPsy, CPC, CMT
Free
Relationship Advice Expert
Susan Derry Quick Facts
- Main Areas
- Personal Growth; Relationship Counseling & Coaching
- Career Focus
- Counselor; Coach; Author; Seminar Facilitator
Susan Derry, B.ED., M.S.Psy., C.P.C., is a practicing professional counselor, certified professional coach and author.
One of Susan's main interests and goals in life is helping people recognize and reach for their potential. She believes that people really are amazing and often more amazing than they realize.
Susan has been married to Milton Derry for 30+ years. They have 6 children.
Susan Derry Books
Articles by this expert
SelfGrowth articles and saved writing connected to this expert.
Article
Raise Your Self-Esteem, Six Behaviors That Give You a Boost
The importance of self-esteem is an unavoidable reality. All of us are impacted by our self-esteem, whether we recognize it or not. High self-esteem allows us to respect ourselves and makes it easier for others to respect us as well. When we feel good about ourselves we are more able to successfully handle life’s challenges. We will also be much more likely to enjoy the good times. Almost everyone struggles with self-esteem some of the time. Even those who seem arrogant and overconfident are probably compensating for a bit of self-doubt.
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Relationships: Pulling Together Rather Than Apart
Have you ever found yourself stuck when trying to solve a problem in your relationship? You talk or battle round and round and never seem to reach any type of agreement. Granted some problems are complicated and difficult to solve, but sometimes we complicate our problems by approaching them from the “I’m right” and “you’re wrong” perspective. Sometimes in order to solve a problem you need to make a paradigm shift; you need to change the way that you are looking at the problem.
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What Is Your Relationship Climate?
Intentionally or not, you have created a relationship climate for all of your relationships. The quality of those relationships has a lot to do with this climate. Relationship climate has little to do with the exact words that you speak or the things that you do. You can say or do the exact same thing but have two very different relationship climates. It has much more to do with what is going on inside of you at the time. You can do something nice for someone from two different positions or a whole range in between. Lets say that you that you decide to make a nice meal for someone.
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Slow Down! Enjoy More
We live in a fast paced world particularly in the western hemisphere. There is a song, “I’m in a Hurry” by Alabama that aptly describes many of our lives: “I'm in a hurry to get things doner Oh I rush and rush until life's no funr All I really gotta do is live and dier But I'm in a hurry and don't know why. “ Many of us find that we run and run on life’s treadmill, rather than living our lives. We rush through our day, late into the night and then wonder why we can’t slow our minds down enough to sleep. We toss and turn through the night and get up tired, to do it all over again.
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Finding The Passion In Your Life
Passion is not just limited to the bedroom. You can be passionate about many things in your life. The interesting thing is that the more you invite passion into your life, the greater the chances it will find its way to the bedroom. What do you love to do? When do you lose track of time and get immersed in what you are doing? I’m not talking about mind numbing distractions. What captivates your interest and attention? What makes you feel more alive and awake? Passion leads to feeling joy and fills your life with purpose.
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Bad Relationship = Opportunity for Growth
Looking at any negative experiences in our lives as an opportunity for growth, rather than misfortune, will allow our lives to have an uphill rather than a downhill trend. When you use what you learned from a previous relationship to grow and mature you will be in a better position to form a new relationship. A painful relationship signals the need for growth. Whether you are now free of that relationship or still feel stuck in it, personal growth is the answer.
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Change Your Perception Change Your Relationship
If you have difficulties in your relationship, your perspective may be part of the problem. Consider how you are looking at your relationship and how you are looking at your partner? Your perception of your partner and your relationship affects the reality that you experience. Thinking and believing that it was impossible to put a man on the moon, would never have resulted in Neil Armstrong standing on the moon.
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Relationship: 8 Keys to Success
There are extreme pressures on relationships today. Fast paced lifestyles can leave little room for developing and maintaining intimate relationships. Yet, a healthy relationship is one of the things that make life worthwhile and helps us live a longer and healthier life. A successful relationship can help us face the tough times and enjoy the great times in our life. The following are 8 Keys to Successful Relationships: Passion
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How To Get Your Partner To Listen
Have you ever felt like you were talking to a wall when you were trying to talk to your partner? Getting your partner to listen, especially to your conce s can be difficult. Remember that you deserve to be heard in your relationship. There are some things that you can do that will make it easier for your partner to really hear what you want him or her to hear. Listenr Listening, really listening to your partner and trying to see things from his or her perspective increases the chances that s/he will listen to you. Be Conciliatoryr
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Are Your Expectations Working For Or Against You?
In all of our relationships we have expectations of how things should be, this applies in our intimate relationships as well. Many of these expectations have not been clearly defined in our own mind and frequently we have not openly shared our expectations with our partner. As our partner bumps up against these unspoken rules and expectations frustration and conflict may result. At this point our first response is often to try to change our partner to match our expectations.
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Loving Successfully
We have heard many suggestions on how to be successful in life. Believe in yourself, persist, get up every time you fall down, understand there is no failure only feedback, learn from mistakes, reach for the stars and walk toward your goals. All this is true, plus for any career or trade you choose there is a set of skills that you must master if you are to be successful.
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Living Your Life By Choice
How often in a day do you find yourself saying things like I should do this or I have to that? Think about the feeling associated with those shoulds and have tos. It may range from resignation to resentment. Seldom do we experience excited anticipation for things we feel we should or have to do. I want to challenge you to replace the shoulds and have tos with I choose. Our language is powerful. When we think and talk in terms of I should do this or I have to do that, we disempower ourselves.
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