The Main Causes of Your Irrational Anger

People often get angry and many times they don't even know why they get angry. As a counselor, I've dealt with many people who are genuinely puzzled why they got so angry. Have you ever gotten angry over something small, stupid, or just plain silly? Have you ever sat down later and felt frustration over why you got angry to begin with? This article is for you. There are two reasons why you may get angry over what may be nothing. We'll look at both of them and see what we can learn. THE FEAR OF SOMETHING I don't necessarily mean the frantic, horror film type fear. But the fear of what you don't understand, or even the fear of loss can indeed cause you to get angry. What you don't understand you often fear. What you fear you get angry at. If you don't understand why someone does something, you may get angry at them because you fear what it may mean. Anger is a defensive measure that people use to insulate themselves from being hurt. The fear of being hurt and the fear of possible loss are two of our greatest fears. Both of these fears will lead to anger. Even an animal, when cornered, becomes ferocious. This type of anger is often irrational and seemingly spontaneous. A husband will complain about his wife's irrational anger not realizing that he is doing something that reminds her of her abusive father. This generates instant fear and she reacts in anger. She may be completely oblivious to the reason herself, because she is reacting to a fear. A man may get explosively angry at something his fiancee did because he fears that her actions may precipitate a breakup. It may not be true, but his fear brings about the anger. Ever listen to someone when they say, "What are they doing?" or "What do you think you're doing?" Rarely is it said out of curiosity. Mostly it is said in anger and frustration. Not understanding why people do something precipitates fear and therefore anger. BRUISED PRIDE OR EGO As already mentioned, anger is a defensive measure to protect us against pain. When our pride or ego is under attack, the average person reacts defensively and that often is revealed through anger. When you are corrected, challenged, rebuked, told you are doing something wrong, told you are no good, or told that you are a failure you react to protect your pride and ego. You get angry. The most dangerous anger is right here. This anger is like a flash flood. It roars down upon the unsuspecting and sweeps everything in its path along with it. Most of the things done in such anger will cause regret, pain, and more anger. Have you ever witness someone doing something absolutely dumb on a dare? Have you seen people react irrationally when called a 'coward' or 'yellow'? Once that pride is struck, we often react with anger. This short temper will override rational sense and we will do things and say things that we would never do under normal circumstances. Be careful of these two things. Fear and pride are often the reasons for our irrational anger.