5 Spiritual Tips to Finding Your Love

From a spiritual perspective we are One, whole, without the need for completeness. However, in our human experience we identify ourselves as separated bodies. The sense of desolation creates an underlying desire for unification with another. If that weren’t enough, we perceive worldly benefits of being in a relationship such as family and companionship. Regardless of the motivation, romantic relationships can be rewarding. Here are 5 spiritual tips to help you find your love.

Be selfless. Don’t seek out a relationship “to get something.” If you’re seeking a relationship to fill a void, be whole or make you happy, it is destined for failure. No one can live up to that expectation. A healthy relationship is one where two people are helping each other be the best people possible (with no strings attached.)

Be available. If you’re not making yourself socially accessible then you can’t expect to make a meaningful encounter. This doesn’t necessarily mean self promotion. However it does mean that there is a conscious intent and effort to be “out there” in situations that increase the likelihood of connecting with someone. Align yourself in activities where social engagement is high. Let God handle the specifics of the encounters; you just need to show up.

Make it about them. When you meet a potential partner, rather than worry about what to say, not to say and talk about yourself, seek to learn about the other person. Take interest in what is relevant to him or her. Ask lots of questions and probe areas that are of particular interest to them or that you share in common. People enjoy when they are made to feel as if they matter. This feels good and gives good reason for them to want to see you again.

Help others achieve the same goal. The cornerstone of spirituality is that we’re all one. So whatever you give has to be returned to you. In the situation where you are seeking a romantic partner, help a single friend find a romantic partner. Play “matchmaker.” I once hosted a single’s dinner party. I invited 10 single friends and required that each of them bring another “single” person. Two couples made a connection that night. Although I didn’t make a connection at the dinner party I did so a month later. After 4 years of being single I found my life partner.

Transcend rejection. There have been countless times where I’ve regretted not asking for a phone number or I’ve been afraid to call someone because of my insecurities. My fear of rejection was preventing me from making a move. Rejection is real, however it doesn’t define you. You are not less of a person because someone is not attracted to you, it’s never personal. If you like someone, find the courage to express a romantic interest. And if they’re not interested, bless them well, move on.

Relationships present the most intense opportunity for spiritual growth and self evolvement. Whether life long or temporary, each relationship makes the space for two people to share in an intimate love experience. If you find yourself with the desire to share in that experience I hope these tips guide you to that discovery.