5 Things Men Think (But Do Not Say) About Women

1. Your bubbliness and extroversion does not distract us from the fact that you are fat.

Observe a group of girls in a bar. There is always one who is louder, acts crazy and seems to dance and drink more than everyone else. She's very talkative and laughs a lot - she's the centre of attention in the group. She's usually the fat chick. Yep, you can be all lively and friendly, but ultimately, you're fat and therefore unattractive. All the laughter in the world will not bring us any closer to your bed.

2. A friend doesn't mean someone who is only on your Facebook.

Her: You know my friend Rachel, right?

Him: Erm, not sure.

Her: You know, the one who just had the baby? She was a temp in the office next door for a week last year, haven't seen her since.

Him: OK, what about Rachel?

Her: I think I will invite her to my birthday party, she just had a baby and put on a bit of weight, she was posting on Facebook how depressed she was so a party will be good for her. Plus, I really miss her.

No, she is not your friend. You have not had any contact with this person with whom you probably only exchanged a couple of words in the one week she worked there.

3. Your IQ, job title and educational background means nothing if you are not physically attractive.

Top lawyer? Filthy-rich banker? PhD in biochemistry? If you're not hot, we don't care. We are not interested in your career or how strong and independent you are. We value beauty above all. Men don't cheat because they find someone more intelligent than their partners - fact.

4. We prefer women who had less sexual partners. We do not value your experience - we'd rather teach you.

OK, you give great head, but in the back of our minds is not only the pleasure you're giving us but also how many times you've given it to other men. As girlfriend material, we'd rather have a virgin with an open mind willing to learn than a sex goddess in bed.

5. We really don't care which top looks better with that skirt.

Her: this one, or this one? I think I prefer this one, though I'm not sure, 'cause this one looks good too?!?

Him: whatever.

We mean it, we really do. For men there is no difference between the light green and the dark green top, they both look nice. It's just a piece of clothing, just choose one and wear it.