A Disappointing Marriage

On my drive home from a recent visit with my folks in the Los Angeles area, I passed by a condominium construction site. The almost-finished condos were being built on the side of a mountain and promised stunning views of the San Fernando Valley. As I drove past I imagined how delightful it would be to sit on one of those sundecks, sipping morning coffee, enjoying the panoramic vista from that vantage point.

But as the traffic inched forward I could see that there were actually another set of much-older condos situated behind the ones being constructed. The new project was literally going up directly in front of the existing homes. And while the original condos were two stories high, the new ones were three stories high—just high enough to completely block the views from the older condos.

I was outraged! It seemed unthinkable to me that the owners of the new condo project had been allowed to do such a thing to the existing homeowners—but they had. The families who owned those older condos had purchased them because of the gorgeous view. Now they would be looking at the back of the monstrous condo project directly in front of them.

Marriage is sometimes like that unfair condo project. We don’t necessarily get what we signed up for, and things don’t always work out as planned. You may have married a perfectly healthy woman only to have her develop a chronic illness. Now you find yourself more a caregiver than a husband—more a nurse than a lover.

Or it could be that you married an attractive guy only to have him gain a substantial amount of weight over the last few years. You’ve tried everything to turn your chubby hubby back into the hard-body he once was, but to no avail.

Possibly your husband or wife hasn’t measured up to your standards in the area of financial earnings. You expected a lovely home with a white picket fence, yet now find yourself living in a rental on the wrong side of the tracks. Your standard of living is far below what you anticipated, and you’re disenchanted.

Whatever the particular circumstances that have altered the delightful view you once held of your marriage—there is hope for your future. Nothing is impossible with God, and no circumstance is beyond His reach. In fact, He will use your distressing change of scenery to cause you to pray with more tenacity and depth. Marriage trials often drive us to spend more time in God’s word, spend more time in prayer, and to get serious about our relationship with Him. There is just nothing quite as excruciating as being seriously disappointed with your marriage. The key to breakthrough in the midst of your distress is to allow your marriage challenges to draw you close to the heart of God. Instead of replaying and rehearsing all your past hurts and disappointments—set your mind on the goodness of God. Spend time alone with Him and let Him speak to you regarding your marriage. He will. And, He will give you specific actions to take, specific ways to pray, and specific promises to hold on to. n