A Joyous Holiday

A JOYOUS HOLIDAYnby Marie Wilson n
For many, thoughts of the holiday season conjure up a feeling of unease! And with good reason, this can be the most stressful time of the year. Most are caught up in unrealistic expectations. No one can live up to the mythical 'perfect' Christmas! And the media certainly urges you to believe that it does exist. Even though we all know that over-spending on Christmas gifts does not bring much satisfaction, it is difficult to avoid spending many hours and too much money shopping for the perfect present for everyone on our list! It is often a set-up for disappointment. When the bills come in January, regret sets in too!
A few years ago, a friend told me that he and his wife had stopped exchanging and giving Christmas presents. After all, he said, "this should be a time of prayer, introspection and peace." Having spent the previous Christmas with a large family along with a friend from Brazil (where many live in poverty), I had seen hundreds of gifts being opened throughout the day. My friend, Cissa, said: "The money spent for the presents, cards and gift wrap, would have supported me for a year." n
I decided to stop exchanging presents. During the following year, I contacted friends and family members with whom I had exchanged presents for years. I suggested that we discontinue the practice. Every one told me they were relieved. They thanked me for having the courage to make this suggestion. We share in other ways, a hand-made item, specialty foods and meaningful gifts throughout the year. My sister writes beautiful poetry and I am delighted when she shares her verse with me.
The holidays can cause feelings of inadequacy, loneliness and lack of money too; especially when the gifts stem from a feeling of obligation. One way to overcome those feelings is to volunteer. By serving others, there is a sense of connection and community. Organizations need Santa's helpers to feed the on-duty Policemen and Firemen and to feed the homeless. Those in nursing homes love to hear Christmas carols. If you are living alone with no family nearby, organize gatherings at your house for others who may be alone and feeling left out.
If you have a large family, Christmas can be overwhelming. Be sure to share the load. You don't need to be in control of everything. Make lists and assign responsibilities to others. Ask family members to share their idea of a perfect Christmas. You might find that simplicity and more meaningful family traditions would be the ideal for all. As a youngster, I looked forward to my Mother playing the piano. We would gather around and sing Christmas carols. That is one of my favorite childhood memories.
In our society, there seems to be a social acceptance of over-indulging by spending too much money, partying too much, over-eating and drinking more than usual. Look back at what happens every year and make appropriate changes. Look at your own 'stress-pushers'. What makes you mad, sad, depressed, disappointed, obligated, stressed and so forth? You can change your attitude and keep the true spirit of Christmas through loving, sharing, giving through doing and truly celebrating the birth of Jesus!