A Porn Addicted Nation - Are You Addicted?
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"My 12 year old son is addicted to pornography. Can you help him? He is defiant or isolates and I don't know what to do anymore." This was the plea of a parent I spoke with, recently. "I have no urge to stop using drugs; there is nothing wrong with it. I don't care what my stupid parents say, I wish they could just chill and be ok with it." These comments came from a 14 year old client whose parents were seeking assistance for him. One could read this and say, "What is wrong with these people? What awful parents!" These two sets of parents are truly respectable people, contributing productively to civilization, with strong family values. Sure, they have typical issues but nothing out of the ordinary. spiritual, hard working, compassionate and they are upset and heart-broken due to the love they have for their children. One mother declared, "I had no idea how bad this had gotten. I knew it was a problem but how did this happen, how did he (my son) get so addicted?" An adult client stated, "I never thought I would become addicted to anything, I never touched drugs or alcohol and have never had a desire. I am that person no one would ever imagine being an addict."
As a therapist, I am often asked how widespread addiction really is. The utmost development is alarming. If you research stats on various addictions, you will find that addiction has spread like wildfire. What is it about Nicotine, Pornography, Alcohol, gaming, Food, Illegal and Legal drugs that is so likeable? Let's look at just one addiction specifically, pornography. Accurate stats date back to 2003, not quite 8 years ago. One such statistic claims that there were 260 million pages of porn online, an increase of 1800% since 1998. Porn amounted to about 7% of the 3.3 billion pages indexed by Google.‰ http://www.lightedcandle.org/po
stats/stats.asp Worlwidewebsize.com states there are presently over 20 billion pages indexed by Google and upwards of 45 billion. Does this mean there is 1 billion, 2 billion, or more pages of porn on the web today? We don't know exactly how much online pornography there is but it is exponentially mind boggling. Why such an increase in demand in pornography and other addictions? What has happened to our culture? Where did it originate? Is it really that big of a deal?
To respond to these questions let's go back approximately 40 years. In 1969, the entertainment revolution was starting to take flight. Self-expression had taken root with Woodstock and subsequently Nixon declaring war on drugs. Modern Media was shouting a declaration of expressive exemption through sexuality and substances and the other part of the public was raising an alarm to addiction and waning standards. During this time programming on television was still limited and out-of-door activities were the activity of choice for most kids. However, a threshold had been crossed; the normalizing of addictive activities combined with the media revolt had begun. Video gaming consoles were , in next to no time, introduced and Cable Television exploded. VCR's, home computers, and microwave ovens became standard in the majority of every American home. The stage had been set by the early 90s for a technological revolution that most minds could not begin to comprehend; a revolution that created a platform for a realm of addiction. With where addiction is today in 2011, one can only surmise where addiction will be in 2031.
Let's take a fast look at the last 20 years. The internet; what began as a communications arrangement for either authorities or those in the know, errupted into what the majority consider a necessity for day-to-day survival. VCR's turned to DVD's and now instant steaming on one's own television or acquiring a new movie every week in your mailbox is usual. Television choices have gone from "The Brady Bunch", "Bonanza", and "Little House on the Prairie" to a bunch of sex, unusual effects, and the slaying of the week. In fact, a new readily available cable program held an awards show where one host grabbed the chest of the other host, who in turn grabbed his crotch as a statement of toleration and humor. 20 years ago an audience would gasp in appall; 40 years ago their careers would be in ruins, where as today the come back was accepting laughter.
"Let me go home and call my friend" or "Let's go to Jonny's house to see if he can play" are comments of the yesteryear. Nowadays the statement is "One sec, let me text." A parent recently told me a story how her daughter was dating a new boyfriend via text. Both sets of parents got together and had to construct the rule that texting was not talking, fundamentally forcing their teens to have an occasional verbal conversation. Walkman's are an 80's clichâ© that even I laughed at lately remembering how changing tapes was the norm. Now 2 clicks and 100s of songs are at ones disposal in a device size of a card. Playing the Piano is less common than playing the Nano. One of my favorites, which I apologetically embrace, is being able to frequent any number of fast food establishments and in 60 seconds, I am enjoying one artery clog closer to a bypass. Sarcastically, at least I have my daily multivitamin and supplements to make me feel better.
I could go on and on but it is not my desire to make anybody reading feel shamed for living amongst convenience or ostracize the many technological advances that honestly, I enjoy. In fact, this article and its delivery is a direct consequence of the miracle of today's engineering, which I am thankful for. Rather, the intent is to set the cornerstone for an understanding and awakening of how and why addiction has blindsided our world and homes; a supplication to study and take note to the informatio
I will be presenting in my next articles. My future segment will respond the questions I have set the basis for. A course has been set where inevitably; addiction will continue to flourish like the proverbial snowball rolling down the hill. Without understanding the remaining informatio
I will share, I fear many that could escape addictive paths will realize too late. In the words of one of my clients, who has been addicted for years, that struck a chord with pain in their eyes I will never forget, "What happened to me!?" For an understanding of my next portion of the article and to have a foundation of how addiction develops please watch our Two-part Brain Video. http://youtube.com/user/innergold1000
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About the Author
Masters Marriage and Family Therapy Intern, has been working with Innergold for over 2 years. Robert’s focus is in family systems therapy combined with addiction and compulsive behavioral counseling. Robert works with individuals, couples, and families but especially enjoys working with youth and young adults.
Robert’s skills in training, team building, and organizational expertise, augment his approach of family systems therapy; using a unique blend of concepts to bring out each individual’s strengths to build confidence and discover their inner-strength. http://innergold.com
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