A Sneaky Trick to Dealing With Your ‘Shoulds’

We’ve all heard of the negative impact of ‘shoulds’ – you know the frustrating “I should do this” or “I should do that” cycle of trying to get yourself to do something because you feel like you have to.

For the record these types of tasks are laden with the heavy energy of obligation and guilt. You can actually feel it in your body when these tasks pop up. They weigh you down and steal your focus, clarity, and good humor.

I am a big proponent of finding a comfortable way to let these ‘shoulds’ go (i.e. delegation, release, or shrinking to a bite-sized chunk). Because when you get right down to it the energy behind that gift you should buy or that call you should make or that project you should finish isn’t going to feel good to anyone – least of all you.

But what about the stuff you REALLY should do?

You know, those stubborn tasks/habits/goals that you know will benefit your life in some way you truly desire? Like exercise, eating healthy, going to bed on time – what about those SHOULDs?

Great question! Here is the interesting truth:

The SHOULDS that you REALLY should do are actually a WANT in disguise.

It’s true! When you can feel that extra level of desire to complete a ‘should’ you’ve actually uncovered a ‘want’ that’s gotten buried under a whole bunch of other stuff.

But the trick is to view these helpful, supportive tasks as something you want to do so that you don’t keep weighing yourself down with all of your ‘shoulds’.

Because ‘should’ energy doesn’t get you anywhere but ‘want’ energy can accelerate you toward your goals faster than you thought possible.

Imagine if throughout the day you started thinking “I want to go to the gym today.” instead of “I should really go to the gym today.” There is totally different energy behind each of these thoughts. You can feel it even in the words on this screen. And guess one actually helps you complete the task? The want! Of course.

Here’s a quick 5 step test to uncover all the rest of your secret wants, pitch the ‘should’s’ that are draining you, and allow all of that wonderful clarity, focus and energy to bubble to the surface.

1. Try letting your ‘should’ go FOR GOOD
2. If you can let it go for good then do so. And while you’re at it let all the guilt go too:)
3. If you can’t let it go, then ask yourself these questions: Why is it so important that I complete this task?
4. If you dig deep enough your response will help you realize you actually WANT to do this.
5. Now get to it! A ‘want’ is a far a easier task to schedule and complete and won’t weigh you down!
What ‘should’ have you discovered is actually a ‘want’?