Accept Your Life...Accept Your Pain

Well meaning people may tell you that you have no right to feel sorry for yourself. You should be putting on a brighter face to the world. You could be doing better than you are if you would change your attitude.

Your feelings are yours. Do not let others attempt to manipulate your feelings. Yes, it helps to be optimistic when you can. Often, this requires a process of feelings where you are sad and/or angry first. Even when you have processed through issues, there will be more issues to sort through and days that aren’t so good.

A lady with chronic pelvic pain told me she felt everyone criticized her because her granddaughter has cerebral palsy. They would tell her, “How could you even think of your pain when this little girl has such a burden to carry?”

Your life is yours. You can’t compare how you should feel. Denying your situation keeps you from accepting it.

When you accept your pain, you can be free from its chains.

Exercise

Are you accepting your pain?
If not, can you identify what is blocking your acceptance?

Do you accept your life as it is now?

A client who refused to accept her life for months used to admit she was “Hitting my head against the wall.” When I saw her last she was smiling and told me she had finally accepted her life. She said, “The only good thing about hitting your head against the wall, is that it feels so good to stop.”

Do you know if you are hitting your head against the wall?
What will happen if you stop?

Exercise

Practicing acceptance means that you accept yourself, others and circumstances just as they are. You take responsibility for things you have control over and surrender the rest. Practice acceptance by telling yourself through self take and affirmations what you are working on accepting; say that you already accept it. If someone tells you they don’t accept you or something about you, don’t argue with them. It’s their issue, not yours.

Sidebar Tip

You don’t have to defend yourself when you are being questioned. If it’s a self care decision, saying you feel it’s appropriate is enough.