Anxiety Rescue: What to Say When You Talk to Yourself

“My heart’s pounding. I feel like I’m going crazy. I just know that if I run out of here, I’ll feel humiliated in front of all these people. But I have to get out of here now!”

For millions of Americans (about 1 in 6 of us), anxiety or panic attacks can be physically and emotionally disruptive. People may feel like prisoners of their own fears. Simple tasks such as grocery shopping, driving, crossing bridges or attending school can be daunting.

Kathryn Tristan, author of “Anxiety Rescue – Simple Strategies to Stop Fear from Ruling Your Life,” suggests that the one common feeling is the fear “I cannot handle this.” “It’s basically a fear of the frightening feelings. A great way to feel less anxious is to learn to pump up the volume on all those negative thoughts. First you have to hear them, and then choose to redirect them away from whining and from terribilizing. Then learn to guide your thoughts into more productive ways of dealing with your stresses.”

According to Tristan, a scientist who suffered for years from anxiety and agoraphobia, “Scientists tell us we have about 100,000 thoughts per day and most are repeating and negative. Only after you can identify those automatic fearful thought patterns can you take a second step and decide to choose differently. You can become the leader of your thoughts and not the follower of your fears.”

Tristan says the first way to re-program your mind is to repeat the phrase, “I always have choices.” When you begin to learn you can choose to heed or not heed what is percolating inside, you take a giant leap into feeling better. Tristan says our power lies within, not without. “Basically, we just need to get off our Big A’s. That is, our negative Autopilot Thinking or inner chatterbox.”

A second major way to reduce stress and anxiety is to focus on gratitude. “Not everything that happens to us is good. But, when you can find what is working with your life, not what isn’t you take a giant leap into overcoming negativity. After one of my talks, a young lady came up to me and we started chatting. It turns out she was at the bookstore taking a break from nearby Children’s Hospital where her young daughter was being treated for a fatal condition. The words out her mouth shocked me.

“She said, ‘I’m so grateful for the wonderful nurses and doctors who are helping my daughter through this. Even my ex-husband and his wife and I have come together to help my daughter.’ Later, I thought it was amazing that the first words out of her mouth when she described her feelings were thoughts of gratitude. Was she grateful she would soon lose her daughter? Of course not, but even in this darkest of hours, even during this most challenging of times, she found a glimmer of light and put that forth.

“I think if she can do this, it is an inspiring example to all of us how to work within our challenges and our heartaches. Realize that you do have choices in how you think. Realize that you can handle whatever challenges you face and turn them around into more powerful, healing and loving ways. Our thoughts create our lives, we must choose them wisely.”