Are You Making Yourself Sick Because You Can’t Say “No”?

When I was interviewed for the Inner Healing Compass teleseminar series, I talked about how setting healthy boundaries can prevent long term physical pain and illness. I’ve considered this a lot lately, because it seems that most of the work I do with clients is based around feeling safe enough to set boundaries and avoid compromise.

One of my clients felt compromised and the result was that her allergies flared
up.

I did an emergency EFT session with a client a few weeks ago. Her allergies had flared up and she’d experienced a migraine. She had guests staying in the house and she was highly sensitive to their clothes due to the laundry detergent they used, amongst other things.

After asking her a few questions, it became obvious that she felt extremely compromised and pressured because of the guests in her house. She felt she had to be an attentive hostess, fun and energetic, and confessed she didn’t enjoy
people staying in their house. In fact, she didn’t want people in the house at all. She was exhausted and frustrated. No wonder her body was expressing its discontent in the form of allergic reactions.

Set boundaries before your body has to set them for you.

For the sake of our health, it’s important to learn how to set boundaries; otherwise, if we continue to compromise what we want and need, it comes down to our body to do it for us – usually in the form of chronic pain, or potentially
serious symptoms.

Through using EFT with my client, she was able to tap away the frustrations she felt, and the anxiety about future guests staying with them later in the summer. She decided – easily – that she would ask the next people coming to see them to stay in a local hotel. She felt relieved, and empowered. It felt right to create boundaries which supported her.

Tap away your anxieties, or resistance, about looking after yourself.

If you like the idea of this, but you’re thinking, “Well, I could never do that. What would they think of me? It’s easier to compromise”, you may find the following tapping transcript helpful.
Tap the karate chop point on the other hand while saying the following:

• Even though I’m afraid I’ll offend them, what if I don’t? - Even though they may not like it, I deserve to consider what I need
• Even though I feel uncomfortable setting boundaries and honouring myself, I’m willing to do my best anyway

Now tap the following places while saying each of the phrases below:

• Top of head: I want to set some boundaries
• Eyebrow: but it all feels so different and uncomfortable
• Side of eye: this could change everything
• Under eye: and I’m not sure I want to risk that
• Under nose: what if I upset her? - Chin: what if I don’t? - Collarbone: what if it fulfills her needs, too
• Under arm: because then she’ll know what to expect? - Liver: I’m open to the possibility that this could work for both of usrn- Wrists: and our relationship will be even easier, more respectful, and more enjoyable as a result.

After you have tapped through this round, write down how you’re feeling and any new thoughts which have come up, then tap again, changing the wording if you need to. Remember, the phrases you use are simply a way of outwardly
expressing how you’re feeling. You don’t need to be creative – just state what’s on your mind and tap through the points.