Are You Too Responsible?

A sense of responsibility is generally a good thing. Most of us who are actively pursuing our spiritual development know that we are responsible as the Creators of our experience. We look at the events we attract, and learn about ourselves through the mirror of our life circumstances. We recognize that inner growth is necessary for change to occur on the outside.

When things go wrong, the first place we look is usually inward. What can we do to take greater responsibility, to attract new circumstances, to shift events towards the positive? This is a wonderful, responsible, mature attitude. If there is trouble in our relationships, if there is discord at work, if our business falls apart, we look within. And at the same time, it can lead to a very special sort of self-centeredness. Everything is up to us. Everything becomes our responsibility. And we begin to like it that way, because if it is up to us, then we are also empowered to create the changes we want to see. If it is ours, then we can “fix” it.

We cannot forget, however, that we share our lives with others who are also creating their experience. Some of these people would like us take on their responsibilities as our own. Some of these people even work with negative energy. They enjoy watching us try to take responsibility for the negativity they are sending our way.

Let’s say, for example, that you have a boss who is working with the energies of fear and control. You are lied to, manipulated, and fear for your job. Where is your responsibility? It is in examining why you attracted this situation. Your responsibility is in learning the lessons that are contained within these circumstances. But is it your responsibility to change the lying, manipulative behavior? No.

If you are an introspective, responsible Lightworker, you may at first ask yourself whether your perception of this behavior is even real. At first, you may wish to deny that this negativity is even taking place. You’ll try to rationalize your experiences. Perhaps you’ll even find fault with your own behavior. You will try to communicate more effectively. You will work incredibly hard to behave in a way that elicits honesty and respect. And still, your efforts will fail to create different results. At some point you have to recognize that, while you may have attracted this situation for a good reason, it is not your responsibility to “fix” it. It is your responsibility, however, to disallow this kind of negativity in your life. This may mean leaving this job. You may not want to, but if the lesson has been learned, the situation has no further value for you. You cannot change it, because you cannot change someone else’s behavior.

Lightworkers will often stay, and keep wondering what deep mechanism within us is attracting negative circumstances. We wrestle with ourselves, we beat our heads against the wall. And if we stay, the lesson becomes this: We are not responsible for everything. People are responsible for their own choices, even if that choice is not to be responsible. People will sometimes even try to interfere with our free will through negativity. We cannot make those types of choices be about us. If we are, we are effectively disempowering another – even if they are working with negativity. We are taking responsibility for what is not ours.

The modality of ho’oponopono teaches us that we have to clear the resonances of all the negativity we see in our lives within ourselves. Violence we watch on the news, disrespect we see in our child or spouse, an act of unkindness we see at the grocery store – we acknowledge that, because we are all One, the energetic vibrations of what we see also exist within us. And we can address these energies, so that after a while, we do not even notice negativity around us any more.

But does that mean we are creating or working with those negative energies, those resonances? I don’t think so. We can address negativity within ourselves, but we also have to recognize that we live in a world where many people actively work with fear, anger, control, hatred, guilt, blame and shame in order to get what they want. And if we are prone to taking responsibility for everything, we think that the manifestations of these energies are ours. We think there is something within us that needs fixing. Sometimes, it’s just not true. We’re responsible for our choices, our own life lessons. When we understand what we have attracted, when make choices that are aligned with Light and have learned our lessons, then we have to realize that our work is done.

Are you overstepping the boundaries of responsibility in your life? Are you trying to “fix” what is not within the realm of your choices? Take a deep breath, and have the courage to let yourself off the hook. You are not responsible for everything.