Are You Wrestling for Power in Your Marriage?

We are going through transitional times. Television shows are brainwashing us to believe that men are stupid and women are smart or vice versa. They have to portray the extreme versions to appeal to public fancy. In this media controlled pop culture, many concepts are screwed over. Don’t believe everything you see. But how do you learn about family values or what is right from wrong when most households are suffering from dysfunctional syndrome. How do you and your spouse evolve as a strong family unit despite all the odds?

In marriage, both partners have rights and responsibilities that are equally shared. It does not matter who is the major bread winner? In today’s world it could be either of the two—husband or wife. Don’t swell! If wife spends more time outside of the house and she is the major contributor to the family’s income; then she may be having attitude issues—feeling all so superior and bossing the husband around to do things he may not know how to. It’s quite possible that husband may be having issues that threaten his male ego going through the trauma of adjusting to this unconventional role.

Whether it’s a case of man or wife who brings all the income or major part of it to the family pot, is irrelevant. When you took the vows “….for better or for worse”, you should have created a “WE-POT”. If you didn’t create it then, create it now. What goes in the “WE-POT”?—All your assets and liabilities—all your wisdom and all your flaws—all the good and the ugly about both of you— your total package. Both of you have undivided rights to the “WE-POT”. Use this “WE-POT” as needed, when needed, and without grumble.
What this means is that marriage is a joint venture. Both of you bring different assets to the marriage. Give up your individual rights to your assets. One of you may have better earning potential than the other; the other may have better personality traits. Freely pitch in what you do best. You can leverage each other’s abilities to maximize your benefits as a couple.

If you get stuck in “me” or “mine” and “you” or “yours”; you will complicate your web. Make sure that you give, give and give to each other without feeling guilty. When both of you start out with giving unconditionally, you will create an environment of abundance and synergy. Happiness and creativity will reside in your world. Imagine the benefits your children will reap growing up in that synergetic and positive culture—infinite!