Accepting the Good Times

What an interesting insight I've had this past week. I've been feeling very strange and directionless for the past two weeks and been trying to figure out what the heck's going on. As usual I have picked and poked and analysed my thoughts, feelings and life experiences and ended up beating myself up for being so darned ungrateful, when I have so much to be thankful for. My life has settled down into a peaceful routine, with no stress. I have reached a point of acceptance about so many aspects of the life I have lived so far and wake each day anticipating what lovely experiences I will have and who will touch my life in special ways. I have no complaints, no worries. I AM, to all intents and purposes, content – but not "happy". So why do I feel so flat, with little motivation to push myself? I have been given an amazing gift. I have worked hard on my attitude, my beliefs, my responses, my interactions with other people and I am pleased that I am making progress, but still there is a kind of "greyness" around me, where there should be so much colour. Then I had a bit of a light bulb moment I guess. For the first time that I can recall, my life is devoid of stress, worry, angst of any kind. I am at peace and I am only responsible for myself – and I have NO idea how to live like that! All my adult life there has been some self-created drama going on. Feeling stressed out about the past, the future, the present, the people in my life, the people not in my life, my job or lack of one, money and basic survival – this was my life, this was how I defined "alive". So where does that leave me? • I have learned to calmly accept what is. • I really do believe that everything is unfolding perfectly. • I AM safe and this is why I feel so content. • I don't resist what's happening any more. • I just go with the flow of life and allow things to unfold. Then it hit me – I AM resisting! I have learned not to resist what I perceive as "challenges" because I value the lessons I always learn from these experiences. However, life is not just about accepting what is when life is challenging us. It's about accepting and appreciating when life is flowing smoothly as well. What a strange thing to be thinking! Isn't a stress-free life what most of us aspire to? Who would not be thrilled when things are moving along smoothly in their life? I suddenly have that famous Forrest Gump "box of chocolates" in front of me and they are all my favourite fillings! The thing is, I now find myself in the predicament of not actually knowing "how" to live a stress-free peaceful life. It's an alien concept for me. Oh boy, have I got some work to do! Then I began feeling sooooo guilty. I should be feeling incredibly grateful. I have so much to be thankful for, so many blessings and yet here I am bemoaning how "empty" my life seems. Yeah right – empty of stress! So now I am in the unusual process of learning to accept when life really is good and knowing that I am allowed to enjoy it without feeling guilty. There are lessons to be learned when things are going well, just as there are went life presents challenges. The choice to learn from all these varied experiences, or not, is mine. I don't have to be stressed to feel alive. I don't have to be fussing over someone else to feel worthwhile. I don't have to be stuck in a 9-5 job to make a valued contribution. I don't need someone else to make me happy – the happiness is inside me. All I have to do right now, in this perfect moment, is: Be courageous enough to accept the wonderful life that I have co-created. It takes courage to be completely happy in your Self, with no need for guilt. This is the life I have yearned for, worked for and now that I have it, all I have to do is simply accept the good times and live with gratitude and joy. Blessingsr
Linney