As I Think Back on Life

As I Think Back on Life

As I think back I wish things had stayed the same. I wish you had never gotten sick. There is so much I wanted to say to you. But I remained silent. I should have spoken up but didn’t, I didn’t take sides, but I just did not speak. It’s funny but now I am left to be there for the kids, especially the girls. We laughed at this just a few months ago after I had my stroke you called, we laughed at death and said we would both be there to see the boys and the girls finish school. That we would be there to dance at their weddings and of course you would give the girls away.

Unfortunately you will never see that happen, I guess it’s now left up to me. I hope I can step up to the plate. You see I am just the grandmother; you were the father, now gone on to be with GOD. I guess he had another more inviting agenda. Well at least you’re out of pain. You know it’s really our selfishness that wants you here when you’re in pain, but you wanted to stay for the children. I thought you would get well and beat it because you beat so many odds.

You do know that yesterday against all odds your son played football? Probably, one of his greatest games. They said in the paper that he did not even have to play because he just lost his father to cancer. But he suited up and played. He played like you were there cheering him on. And I know you were there in spirit.
I can’t go to the funeral because I am still not up to traveling that far, but I promise you that I will get well and that I will be there for all four kids. So, it’s not goodbye but see you when God decides to call me home.