Attaining Mastery Over the Sex Impulse

As the spiritual seeker begins to address the question of mastery over the sex-impulse, he becomes aware of the difficulties of tackling a deeply embedded process that stretches back into the early phases of animal evolution, and thus, has acquired a strong power base within the being. This power base for the sexual impulse includes long-established response mechanisms that trigger internal surges of certain hormones that direct the reaction of the mind, the heart, the nervous system, the vital and physical systems. Much of this response is virtually automatic as the triggering mechanism is activated in the being through the senses, by reception of pheromones or directly by the mind itself. As long as we are identified with the exte
al mind-life-body complex and the ego-personality, we are subject to the pressures of the sexual impulse and these automatic, triggered responses.

The first attempts are generally made by trying to use will-power to deny or suppress the impulse. This generally fails as the instinctive behaviour is more powerful than the mental will generally. This leads to attempts to deny the triggering activities, such as abandoning life in the world for a quiet retreat in the cave, the forest, or the monastery, generally with a separation of the genders to avoid immediate pressure of sensual impressions. This also is doomed to failure, as it does not solve the problem, but simply avoids it. Then there are the attempts to ‘beat the nature into submission’ through some form of physical austerity or even bodily torture such as self-flagellation or other painful means, base in negative training that associates pain with the rising of thoughts or impulses in this direction. This type of operant conditioning may succeed in the short term, but does not actually solve the issue. Long-term it can create serious negative consequences at a number of levels in the being.

Some people believe that by restricting sensory stimuli, the sexual impulse can be avoided. This has frequently been used to hide women from view through use of visually obstructive clothing or through sequestration. This essentially tries to shift the responsibility for the rising of the sex-impulse away from men and make the women the ’cause’ of the problem. Similarly these societies may try to restrict expression, media and relationships, separate the genders and otherwise expect that by suppression and denial of sense impressions the sexual impulse is gone. This of course is not a solution and in fact, appears, in many cases, to make the societies within which this occurs more sexually aggressive as it is simply another form of repression and does not go to the root of the issue, — dealing with the underlying sexual impulse at its basic level.

Having reviewed what clearly has not worked, it is time to look at other options for gaining mastery over this impulse. The key to mastery over any of the actions or responses of the exte
al being is to shift the standpoint away from living on the surface to that of the witness of the nature. This allows the witness to view the exte
al impulses, pressures and reactions as something exte
al and therefore easier to manage than something that one feels to be an integrated part of oneself. One can begin to recognise the pressure from outside, such as through the pervasive imagery that occurs in all the media and in society at large, and the vital pressures of social relationships that encourage sexual expression, and the pheromones released in one’s proximity in a social setting, that can trigger these reactions and simply not let them take over the action of the mind, life or body. As the witness consciousness becomes established, its power to not just witness, but master, the actions of the exte
al mind-life-body complex increases. As the process develops, the seeker can experience the relief of the pressure in the mind, and in the emotions more quickly than in the parts of the being to which the sexual impulse is native — the vital and physical aspects of the being. Eventually however, as the energy is redirected constantly, all part of the being shift their focus away from sexual energy towards utilisation of that energy in other ways supportive of the sadhana.

This process can take some time, so it is important for the seeker to not become discouraged or give up the effort. The pressure of the environment, and any residual impulses remaining in the subconscient parts of the being imply that the seeker must remain vigilant and non-reactive, and at the same time, not become overly anxious about a rising of the impulse in the dream-state, for instance if it is otherwise successfully rejected in the active daily life. Dreams can take up impressions not actively recognised or responded to during the waking state. In a hyper-sexualised society, the impressions are constantly being captured even if not attended to. Even if they are rejected by the waking consciousness, they can act to trigger dream-responses until the embedded instincts and trained behaviours are finally eliminated from all the vital and physical nature in their entirety.

Sri Aurobindo writes: “As for the method of mastery, it cannot be done by physical abstinence alone — it proceeds by a process of combined detachment and rejection. The consciousness stands back from the sex-impulse, feels it as not its own, as something alien thrown on it by Nature-force to which it refuses assent or identification — each time a certain movement of rejection throws it more and more outward. The mind remains unaffected; after a time the vital being which is the chief support withdraws from it in the same way, finally the physical consciousness no longer supports it. This process continues until even the subconscient can no longer rouse it up in dream and no further movement comes from the outer Nature-force to rekindle this lower fire. This is the course when the sex-propensity sticks obstinately; but there are some who can eliminate it decisively by a swift radical dropping away from the nature. That, however, is more rare.”

“It has to be said that the total elimination of the sex-impulse is one of the most difficult things in sadhana and one must be prepared for it to take time. But its total disappearance has been achieved and a practical liberation crossed only by occasional dream-movements from the subconscient is fairly common.”

Sri Aurobindo, Bases of Yoga, Chapter 4, Desire — Food — Sex, pp. 75-76