Before I Became A Mother

Before I Became a Mother ... There was never a problem sleeping whenever I felt tired. The time I crawled into bed wasn't dependent on anything but my own schedule. I never dreamed there'd be a day when I wouldn't even have time to brush my teeth or comb my hair!

Before I Became a Mother ... My home stayed meticulously clean and I was happy to have friend drop by unannounced. There weren't toys spread all over the place. I never gave a second thought to the sharp corners on my coffee table. Who even knew some plants contained poison?! I wasn't tuned into the controversy about immunizations and autism.

Before I Became a Mother ...I had no idea that watching a child sleep with love in my heart was as entertaining as a novel or a good movie. I never knew that my child would grow up to tease me about such a wonderful thing, and for being so emotional. I never knew how clearly I'd identify with fear and pain just by looking into a child's eyes.

Before I Became a Mother ... I never understood the deep connection between me and my nursing child, and that even if he was asleep at the end, I couldn't bear to put him into his crib. I never knew how weakness felt when I could not stop my child's pain when he skinned his knees. I had no idea that my life becoming child-centered could tilt my world so quickly. I did not understand that handling diapers and spit ups would become a practical form of love and not be distasteful because of it.

Before I Became a Mother ... I had no idea that the spark of love could become so palpable so quickly. I never knew I could have so much love for one so small. I never knew how much I would love and enjoy all the aspects of being a mother. I didn't know that seeing to the needs of such a tiny child would make me the focus of attention for one baby's life and that it was so joyful.

Before I Became a Mother ... I did not know that my love and caring would show outside on my body. I wasn't aware how keen my sense of hearing and attention could become so that I would be awakened at the slightest sound from my child. I didn't know until after I had a child that my attention would never be fully on my own pursuits until he became much more self sufficient. I wanted all about and around him to be "okay."

Before I Became a Mother ... I was clueless that this adventure would involve love, joy, sadness, worry, awe, sacrifice, and tremendous satisfaction. I had no idea that my feelings would be enhanced to such big proportions. I don't have one moment of regret.