Best Ways to Deal with Relationship Breakdown

Heartache. Loneliness. Grief. Sadness. Anger. The list goes on when describing the emotions of a relationship breakdown. Relationship breakdown is an experience shared by people of various backgrounds and ages. If your relationship has come to an end, you have the power to choose what kind of experience it will be and how you can cope with it. The absence of a person who may have once been a strong source of support to you can manifest into a series of negative emotions, originating from a sense of loss and can leave you questioning how you will now cope with things such as: • Your daily routines and family structure • Contact with your children • Residence • Social life • Meaning, purpose, and identity • Financial security • The opportunity to have children With the right support, you have the power to reframe any unhealthy thoughts and behaviours that are caused by a relationship breakdown. In many situations, the overwhelming feelings of loneliness and grief can be compounded by unhealthy behaviours and thoughts that have happened before, during or after the relationship breakdown. There is light at the end of the tunnel… During the moment it might not seem like it, but you have the power to reframe your thinking in a way that suggests to yourself that the ending of one relationship can be the catalyst for building new and exciting relationships with yourself and others. Relationship separation in one sense can provide the opportunity to uncover, explore and redefine your relationship with various aspects of your life, which you may have neglected or forgotten about while being in a relationship. This can be incredibly exciting and liberating as you put plans in place to change your life for the better. It goes without saying the incredibly annoying cliché of; time heals all wounds. How you choose to spend your time can help or impede the healing process. 8 best ways to deal with a relationship breakdownDon’t: Make any major decisions right now. Instead, use this time to reflect on your relationship, and even investigate the preceding issues that generated this reaction. Do: Look after yourself. Our bodies react to our thoughts and emotions, so be compassionate, kind, and patient with yourself. So, if you notice your concentration wavering, having trouble sleeping, not eating or experience weight-related problems. If they persist, contact your GP. Don’t: Get into another relationship too quickly or engage in a retaliatory affair. Bring into awareness your emotions and vulnerabilities. Do: Allow emotion. Some days or moments will better than others. Savour the laughter with the kind people you surround yourself with. Crying is a healthy form of emotional expression however many people withhold their tears, believing it is a sign of weakness when you express such raw emotions. By no means force a cry, but often this form of expression can come through songs or nostalgic photos and places. Allow it to happen but don’t force it. Don’t: Play the blaming game over who caused the breakup. This past-orientated defence is, naturally, unable to change anything and therefore a waste of energy. There are two sides to every story and two people to fall both in, and out, of love. This blaming extends to the other partner, third party and yourself. Do: Speak with your partner about the breakup when you are both ready. In order to make sound decisions, you have a right to the information. However, it is crucial to keep in mind that not all knowledge and details are useful. You may feel disappointed by your partner's response, or lack of which is why it is important to contemplate why you want to know certain details in the first place. Do: Even though you may have received advice from others or read advice online, really reflect on what feels right for you and follow that path. Don’t: Go through this alone. Surround yourself with uplifting and supportive people. If you feel you cannot discuss your emotions and feelings with family or close friends, you may consider accessing a counselling service. A professional counsellor can provide a neutral perspective and support you through the challenges and upheaval of a relationship breakdown and help you to reassess and focus on your future.