Blind Spots

Many people remember learning to drive a car and hearing someone instruct, “When you change lanes, check your side-view and rear mirrors, then turn and look over your shoulder to make sure that there is not a car in your “blind spot”.

Every human eye has a “blind spot”. Where our optic nerve enters our retina, there is a small part of the retina that cannot detect light: a blind spot. Likewise, each and every one of us has “psychological” blind spots.

In these blind spots is information about our self and others that is not in our clear line of sight or awareness. This information can include the unique perceptions, assumptions, and conclusions that we have formed during our growing-up years about topics such as self worth, trust, interpersonal conflict and the ways we have learned to cope with stress.

Often, what is in our psychological blind spots can interfere with having the kind of healthy and happy life that we wish for ourselves. Therapy can be an incredibly powerful tool to add another light source or mirror to help us see more clearly what is in our blind spots and shrink them.

A man in his late 30’s came in for a consultation complaining of being angry all the time. His boss did not want to promote him and his wife was fed up with his high level of irritability and told him that she was considering a divorce if he didn’t “do something!” He used therapy to see where these angry, irritable feelings had begun, and to learn how he was contributing to keeping them going in his current life by trying to be all things to all people, avoiding conflict, and not speaking up for himself. By increasing his awareness about what was in his blind spot that had been holding him back, he was able to make changes and better deal with things that came up both at work and at home.

What is in your blind spot that may be holding you back?