Build an Ego in Just Three Days

Day One: The best-built egos are ones that are well designed, so the first step is to acquire a great set of plans. These are available at any convenient party in the neighborhood. Just mingle around and you will see all kinds of egos being built right there before your eyes, and all you will have to do is take notes. Be particularly keen to find the best and biggest egos, which are easily recognizable by the incessant talking of their owners. HINT: The finest egos will interrupt just about everybody, as well they should, because they have the most important things to say!

Day Two: Now that we have our plans, its time to take tools in hand and begin to construct our big ego. I would recommend that you acquire the best tools that you can afford; that always makes the job easier. A good jealousy is always handy, and can be used for many things. Also, don't forget an anger, because a sharp anger is helpful in setting up the foundation that keeps the ego strong as we work on the top floors. And a vanity! How could we forget a vanity? That's what puts those special final touches on a good ego. HINT: You will find that with larger egos, you must always be very careful to continually shore them up, even after they are built, because the bigger your ego gets, the easier it will collapse if you are not careful with the construction. Of course, if you can find an old ego laying around that you can tear down, you can save some time using the old parts to build you new one!

Day Three: Now we can see our big ego taking shape. Hard to believe that with a little work and a little perseverance, we can actually build such an impressive structure. But at this juncture, we must be very careful because we are trimming out everything that we have built, and the trim is the most important thing. Deceit can add that special finishing touch, as well as just the right amount of self-righteousness. These two together in the right combination are a knock out! HINT: To complete the job, we also must plant something around the edges that will enhance the ego, such as a little envy or pride, or a nice grouping of judging and comparing, which works well for that very important overall look.

And before you know it, you can stand back and proclaim; I built an ego! See, it was so easy; all it took was a little ambition and a little desire. Who knows, with this under your belt, your next project might be a whole house of selfishness! n