Caring for Yourself While Caring for a Loved One

You’ve probably heard the saying that says you can’t take care of someone else if you aren’t taken care of first. When you go through the safety check on an airplane, the flight attendant will encourage you to give yourself oxygen before helping anyone else in the case of an emergency. This is because it is virtually impossible to care for someone else when your supplies are depleted. This is true in the care of oxygen, and it’s emotionally true as well. If you aren’t emotionally healthy and fulfilled, caring for a loved one who is ill can be exhausting, and you will burn out quickly. But if you set good boundaries, and follow the following four steps, you can ensure that you remain healthy while helping your loved one to heal. Taking on the care of another person is a huge task, and something that should make you feel rewarded. There will be days where it all seems like too much, but you should have days where you feel positive and happy also. If the bad days are being to outweigh the good days, it may be time to sit back and take stock of how you are caring for yourself. Always Ask For Help No one can do everything on his or her own. We all rely on others to help us with tasks we don’t know how to do, or physically or emotionally can’t do. While taking on the care of a loved one is an admirable thing, it cannot be done successfully if you don’t first learn to ask for help. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness; it is a sign of security and knowing your own limits. Ask for help before you reach your breaking point. Don’t allow yourself to get so stressed out that you snap before you reach out to someone to help you. Asking for help can involve many things. If your loved one needs medical care, you may hire a nurse or other professional to come in and help you. Help can come in the form of lunch with a friend, or just a quick phone call and a hug. Help is specific to whatever you need it to be. Don’t be afraid to ask for it. Manage Your Load Unfortunately, the things you need to do to maintain your life don’t stop when you take on the care of a loved one. You will still have work to do, kids to carpool and appointments and meetings to attend. A big part of managing all this successfully is using good time management skills. Try to stick to a schedule as much as possible. Juggling your responsibilities may seem overwhelming, but it can be done if you use the first step of asking for help. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed at times. Remember that there will be times when you feel like you just can’t do it anymore. When this happens, let yourself feel overwhelmed. Confide in a friend, feel the feelings, and then let them go and move on. Stay Healthy You can’t take care of a loved one if you are unhealthy, whether that is emotionally or physically. Don’t stop doing the things that you do to stay in shape. Carve out time for a regular workout, and don’t neglect your own healthy habits because you are so focused on someone else’s needs. Take time out of your day to do the things that keep you emotionally healthy also. Visit with friends, read a book, and give yourself time to relax every day. Avoid Burnout What all these steps are doing is working to help you avoid getting burned out on caring for your loved one. When you take care of yourself first, you can effectively take care of others as well. If you get to the point where you are burned out, you may have a hard time getting back into the mode of caring for something, even after a break. If you feel stressed and overwhelmed, it’s time to ask for help and give yourself some time off. Caregiving shouldn’t take over your entire life. Learn about what causes stress and burnout and do your best to avoid these situations. When you take on the care of a loved one, you can expect to feel rewarded and challenged at the same time. But you don’t have to feel burned out or depressed if you take the necessary steps to care for yourself at the same time.