Change the Question and You Will Win

“The question actors most often get asked is how they can bear saying the same things over and over again night after night, but God knows the answer to that is, don’t we all anyway; might as well get paid for it.” –Elaine Dundy

When the going gets tough the immediate reaction for most human beings is to respond with fear, doubt and trepidation. The fear of the unknown when your life feels like a tsunami – drowning in raw emotions that send chills up and down your spine. You can hardly breathe as your mind races trying to figure out how you are going to find a job, or how you are going to pay the bills, or how can you get health care for yourself or a loved one. You feel exposed and vulnerable. You get jumpy and over react when asked to do the simplest thing, Perhaps you find yourself crying in the bathroom covering your mouth so no one hears your pain.

When stuff hits the fan and it spreads its toxic fumes throughout your personal and professional life, it is time to coach yourself and work with someone to build from the fumes a fresh fragrance of hope. There is always hope. You need to ask yourself the right questions. Fear and the ego send you down the wrong tunnel with questions that lead to hopelessness. The wrong questions fuel fear and attract a bigger destructive flame. Questions like: How am I going to get a job in this economy? How am I going to get out of debt? How come I am so dumb that I could let this happen? Who is going to hire me, I am too old/too young? What am I going to do if I don’t make __________? Who is going to want me?

When you ask habitual questions with habitual doubtful feelings you get the same answers. What you focus on keeps expanding. Your computer brain stores what you put in it logically and emotionally. Despair in despair out. Hopefulness in hopefulness out. Your brain holds the software you developed. So if you routinely ask from a self-defeating place, you will get a self-defeating solution. The thing is that what you are not noticing escapes your attention. So no wonder you are bewildered and confused. You are resourcing from negative emotions and questions. Within your brain are resources to give you new perspectives and resolutions to your problems.

Help your brain find opportunities by building new neuro-nets. Your brain has plasticity. It has the ability to grow. It is meant to grow. You are meant to grow! If you are not developing new pathways, it keeps repeating the same old tunes over and over again. Develop new questions with positive emotions, because whatever you ask your brain, it will give you.

Here are samples of questions to ask your brain with sincerity that will empower you:

• What’s the benefit from this experience? How can it serve me?

• What do I respect about this person?

• What is the opportunity to turn this around that I am not noticing?

• How can I look for a new career and enjoy the process?

• What can I do to have more fun without spending any money?

• How can I become great at follow-ups with confidence and ease?

• What can I take away from this that is empowering?

The quality of how you live is in the quality of the questions you ask yourself together with your emotional state. Focus on what’s possible. Remember: Anything is Possible – you are the possibility of love, transformation and leadership!