Changing Times, Changing Ways

During January I encountered numerous people in the throes of huge life change, such as: - changing or losing jobs
- starting own businesses
- babies born to first time parents

On a much smaller scale, I joined a new, large gym and caught myself feeling slightly out of sorts about my first day there. Attending a new gym involves a new routine, finding my way around; locating the route to the swimming pool from the change room and of course how to use equipment.
Although this may sound simple (or silly even), it’s true that anything new or a change in routine can leave you feeling a little “unsettled” and needing to change your focus of attention.

Although my gym example is a small one and around which my uncertainty dissolved within a few minutes by shrugging it off and “just doing it”, imagine how much more a large change in your life frightens you!

But having an awareness of yourself helps settle you into any change process. And by self-awareness I mean the following: - knowing yourself (how you behave, what you’re thinking & feeling) - understanding what keeps you positive and motivated
- feeling your envisioned outcome - believing in your ability to handle obstacles & challenges
- a sense of who you are & what you want
- having a greater meaning to life

As you’ve probably experienced in your own life, any major change you encounter usually results in some form of personal growth or self development. A benefit of living consciously as a human being is the ability (which becomes a habit) to look at things from a “learning” perspective and a desire to understand reasons behind experiences.

Change often involves feeling unsure (if not terrified) of what you’re going to discover, let alone who will enfold from within the depths of you.
And this is often what causes the well-known fear of change.
The good news however is there are skills to help you handle life-changing events which simultaneously build your self-esteem.
Self-esteem being the way you feel about yourself including self worth and self respect.

Two of these required skills include self knowledge and self-efficacy.
• Robert Holden says “The better you know yourself – what you value, what inspires you, what you are made of – the more effectively you will live, work and relate to others. Self knowledge is the jewel in the crown of success. It enables you to be inner directed, self-referring and true to yourself”
• Self efficacy may sound technical, but it’s merely your belief that you have all the capabilities to manage prospective situations.

If you start to understand more about yourself (including what makes you tick as well as what holds you back) isn’t it likely that you’ll be able to competently and confidently make the necessary decisions and choices to move forward in your life?

One thing that successful and happy people have in common is that they spend time in reflection.
Self-reflection helps you realise what is needed (for you personally) to develop these necessary skills of self knowledge, self-esteem and self-efficacy. It may also unearth a desire for professional assistance in these areas.

So if you’re experiencing change or wanting to create some change, consider reflecting on the following:
1. Define for yourself what success & happiness means to you. The all-important question is “What do you really want?”
2. Take an “observer status” of where you are in your life & what’s happening to you. What’s real and what’s not?
3. Commit to changes you need to make or how you wish to deal with the change you’re currently undergoing.

4. And… most importantly ….. Do you trust yourself enough on your journey?

As Buddha famously says “There are only two mistakes you can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting.”