Choose Peace: A Practical Application

Peace is something we choose. At any given moment we may choose peace or conflict; peace or struggle. The moment you find yourself angry, upset, or stressing, you can choose peace. There is a beautiful verse from A Course in Miracles that reads: "I could choose peace instead of this." The practical applications of this verse are infinite. Anytime we are upset we can choose peace.

You may think that this is easier said than done. However, it can be easily done if you follow one requirement: You must want peace more than anything else. For example, if you are arguing with your spouse (or ex-spouse) you must want peace more than you want to get that person back, more than you want to be the one who is right. Peace has to be more important and more desirable than the drama.

Peace will make you more effective at work. If you are pressured for your time and efforts, stressing and worrying will not help you. Yelling at people may get them moving, but at considerable cost to the relationship. Fear, anger, and worry all trigger the fight or flight response in your body. Your brain is actually less capable of processing data and your mind is less capable of coming up with new ideas when you are in fight or flight. You can not think as clearly as when you are calm. Over time, continuous over stressing weakens your immune system.

Some people may disagree, saying that they think more clearly in high stress situations. When I coached basketball, I enjoyed the close games. I found myself completely in the present moment. When you are completely in the present moment, not worrying about the past or the future, you are usually not stressed. I was excited and fully present, but not stressed. I felt like the calm center in the middle of a storm. I was effective in that situation because I was not stressed or worried. Most of you have situations where you are able to be the calm center, while others are upset. Your ability to find that calm place within makes you effective as a leader. When you are calm and fully present, you think clearly.

You can choose peace in any situation. There are times when there is no control over outside factors. Fearing or stressing over things we cannot control only adds to our pain. Recently I was in a car accident. I hit black ice on the expressway and could not stop my car. I crashed into the vehicle in front of me still going 35 miles per hour. My car and the other vehicle were totaled. The other driver and I were both okay. My new car was lost; I missed a presentation for the first time in my career; my client had to make other plans; there was no paycheck; I was 100 miles from home; and I had very sore ribs. There was nothing I could do to get back my day. I chose peace.

Throughout the experience I stayed present and calm. I did what I needed to do. When you feel at peace and your plans are thwarted, you make new plans. You carry on. Resisting what has happened by complaining or blaming does no good. I acknowledged my disappointment; I felt it; I let it go; and I moved on to what needed to happen.

Isn't it time you experienced peace? It is time to recognize that peace is not about wishing others would stop fighting. It is about each of us, individually, making the choice for peace. We achieve peace when we decide to stop thinking hurtful and worrisome thoughts and think more uplifting thoughts instead.

Instead of wallowing in problems, think about possible solutions. Instead of focusing on what you don't want, focus on what you do want. Recognize that it is not your job to be manager of the Universe. Contrary to some beliefs some of you have, you don't make it all happen. You envision; you plan; you implement; and you do your best. That's it! Peace is when you are not attached to outcomes.

If you are a spiritual person, you can achieve peace by giving it over to your Higher Power. Once given, cease to worry. If you do insist on worrying or thinking about it, then you do not trust your Higher Power. Let it go and trust. Insist on it! Do the tasks that are before you to do, and listen for inspiration that may come to you.

I have noticed that whenever I have a serious conflict with another person that I can achieve peace within minutes. I state my intention firmly to myself that I want peace. I give the situation to my Higher Power. I refuse to allow myself to dwell on it any more. Every time the situation works out. Often I don't have to do anything. Of course, sometimes I need to apologize. Once peace is chosen and the situation is given away, there is a natural process that occurs. Just as in nature, the rain and the thunder come, then they stop. The sun comes out. Human storms work out the same way if we choose peace.

If you are not particularly spiritual, be logical. Your fear, anger, or worry will not solve anything. Consider giving it away to a Higher Power, even if you are not sure It is there. It can't hurt!

Family drama and workplace stress may pull at you. Take charge of your mind, and make a decision for peace. Find moments to be alone and to rest. Take some time to refresh yourself with activities that energize you. Whenever you begin to feel upset say to yourself: "I could choose peace instead of this." Breathe deeply and let go. May your next year be peaceful.