Connecting to Yourself in the Newborn Period

Moms and dads of newborns, term or premature, often find little time for themselves. Moms take care of their baby, their family, and the home. In our society, a dad is quickly back to work to provide for his family. Over time this results in fatigue, overwhelm, and resentment and many other negative feelings. A typical conversation is that there just isn't enough hours in a day.

Carving out 'Me Time' in the day requires creativity. It means thinking about 'Me Time' differently.

Shifting the purpose of 'Me Time' from Doing to Being means there is enough time to replenish ourselves each and every day. Imagination is the key. As a working mom, nursing my baby, I welcomed the time I spent pumping while at work. It provided me a time to disconnect from the outside world and tap into my peace and highest self. For 20 minutes every few hours I replenished myself. I was able to let go of that longing to be with her when I knew it wasn't possible at that time. I felt good about myself. I knew I was taking care of my baby even though I could not be physically with her.

In practice:

POSTPARTUM Path: You crave some time alone or as a couple. Life after baby is quite different from prior to the arrival of your baby. Although you expected this, you were not completely sure how it would feel living it. Connecting back to yourself is key. You are wondering how to find time to do that when things feel unsettled? We all have times in our day when our thoughts wander, usually to the to-do list. Take back these few moments and make them meaningful to you. Use this time to connect to your feelings of joy and happiness about your new family. Connect to what you want to feel and anchor that feeling with affirmations so it is available for you when things go crazy. Breathe.

NEWBORN Experience: The separation from your baby is difficult. With each trip to the hospital you recognize your baby is improving, getting better, and will soon be on his or her way home. So how do you handle the pangs of separation until he or she is in your arms? Connect to self. Recall the feelings you shared when your baby lived just under your heart. Remember that warm, glowing feeling that filled your heart. Anchor that feeling and connect to it each time you are at your son or daughter's bedside. Let these feeling work for you, flow through you, and support you until your baby is discharged to your arms. Allow the positive energy of warm emotions flow through you to assist in the healing process.

NICU Journey: The path home is challenging, and some days are more difficult than others. Life refuses to stop to allow you time to deal with having a premature or sick newborn, because life believes you can handle it. The "why" is a question that may never be answered. You are called to tap into your strongest, highest self to be a part of the medical team caring for your son or daughter. You do have the strength to not just survive, but thrive even when it seems unbearable. In the NICU journey time in silence and gratitude provides access to your greatest self. It nourishes and strengthens you to face each day, particularly on those days when you'd rather not.

There are times in our lives when it more meaningful to just BE and leave the doing to someone else.