Crash and Burn-ology: 6 Signs There Won’t Be a Second Date

You like him, but does he really like you? Is there any way to tell how well a first date is going? 1) What day of the week did your date ask you out? It’s generally a good sign if your date asks you out with a few days notice — it means he’s thinking about you and wants to lock in weekend plans. Bad sign? If he calls you a few hours before he wants to go out. Usually that means you were the date of last resort, or he had a cancellation. First Date Fix: Don’t make a last-minute date. If he likes you, he’ll give you more notice next time. If not, he’ll get the message that you’re not a last-minute booty call and go elsewhere. Either way, you’re better off. 2) Is your date preening? When we like someone, our body language gives us away. If the first date is going well, your date will subconsciously exhibit “preening” behaviors. For women, this means checking or reapplying lipstick, fluffing, flipping, or brushing back your hair, or smoothing your clothes. If a man is into you, he’ll straighten his tie, pull up his socks, smooth back his hair. First Date Disaster: A date who doesn’t exhibit any preening behaviors at all is very likely not interested. 3) What is the surest sign during dinner that the date is going badly? If your date is sitting back in his chair with his arms crossed over his (or her) chest, it’s a sign your date is closed off, angry, defensive, or irritated. Whatever the emotion he (or she) is feeling, it’s not good. First Date Fix: Try relaxing your body language with an open posture (shoulders relaxed, arms down, palms up) and smile kindly. Nod your head as he or she is speaking. Then slowly, over the course of a few minutes, gradually lean forward towards your date, (without invading his or her personal space.) Frequently, the relaxed stance of another person can make us feel more open and relaxed when we’re closed off. 4) What does the length of the date tell you? The planned length of the date tells you nothing. Some people like to have dinner on the first date, some people like to meet for drinks or coffee, and see where things go. The surest sign a date is not going well is if the date ends promptly after the scheduled event. (As in, thanks for the drink, nice to meet you, see ya around…) Signs the date is going well? If your date wants to extend your plans, suggesting dinner after your scheduled drinks, or going to a club after your scheduled dinner. If he’s looking to keep you around a little longer than you’d planned for, this is a sign things are going better than expected. 5) What does the “doorstep moment” tell you? If you’re lingering on the doorstep, it’s a good sign that you’re stalling (hoping) for a goodnight smooch. Signs the date has gone south? She’s got her keys in her hand before the car rolls to a stop, she offers a handshake instead of a lip-lock. 6) What does it mean when a date says “I’ll call you”? Nothing. For men, it’s the least stressful way to end a date. What to Watch For: If he calls, he’s most likely to do it within the first 72 hours. If it doesn’t happen by day 3, the odds go down dramatically. (And if he DOES call you two weeks or two months later, do you really want to date someone who wasn’t any more motivated to follow up after a good date? Probably not.) Lisa To read more from Lisa on topics like this & others on love, cheating, relationships or dating advice visit: http://www.lisadaily.com. TV Dating Expert Lisa Daily is the bestselling author of two dating books Stop Getting Dumped!, How to Date Like a Grownup and Fifteen Minutes of Shame (a novel) and is seen everywhere from Entertainment Tonight to the HITCH movie DVD. Get Lisa’s FREE newsletter with dating advice and tips at http://www.lisadaily.com (C) Copyright 2002-2009 by Lisa Daily. All Rights Reserved.