Creating Harmony and Understanding Requires a Change of Consciousness

The mental consciousness believes, first of all, that the particular viewpoint held by an individual is ‘correct’ and that other viewpoints are ‘wrong’. The vital nature wants to assert itself and gain dominance. The limited and linear framework of the normal human consciousness ensures that there will be disagreement, dispute and eventually a state of gridlock where opposing ideas contend with each other and no one is willing or able to ‘compromise’ because they hold their own view to be the correct one. We see this dynamic everywhere.

People who are mentally oriented believe that they can gather facts, organize logical arguments, and thereby convince people. People who are more emotion-centred believe that by a simple expression of goodwill or empathy, that people will come together and agree. Others who are centred in the vital nature primarily believe that through exercise of power, and domination, they will be able to get people to agree with them, using various forms of bullying or pressure. None of these approaches has shown success in actual practice throughout all of human history.

We can look on the resolution of disagreements, whether inter-personal or on a larger scale in society and its institutions, as a form of negotiation. The various approaches to negotiation, as set forth above, each have their limitations, primarily due to the fact that there is no comprehensive understanding that can incorporate all sides of the misunderstanding, take into account the different viewpoints and needs of the various parties to the misunderstanding and thereby find ways to develop a synthesis that resolves conce
s each party is holding.

The game of chess, as played by most casual players, is a game of strategy that offers people the opportunity to explore different ways of approaching mutual problems. There is the problem of ‘attack’ in the form of checkmating the opposing king, and there is the problem of ‘defense’ in the form of protecting one’s own king. Those who are overly fixated on their own viewpoint and solution will frequently try to implement an ‘attack’ without fully appreciating or understanding the other party’s similar attempt to launch an attack. Thus, one may easily find that the attack winds up falling into a trap, and losing to the opposing player by failing to see the position and plans of the other party. Chess players are therefore encouraged to occasionally turn the board around, so to speak, and look at things from the other player’s viewpoint. A useful exercise, helpful in negotiations and wider harmony of understanding!

Which brings us to the art of negotiation and the role of shifting to a new consciousness in order to achieve what we call “win / win” resolutions. The new consciousness embodies not only one’s own particular viewpoint, but takes a more ‘global’ view that can see, understand and incorporate in its more complete picture, the viewpoints of other individuals and conce
s that need to be resolved. Things are not “either/or” in this consciousness. They are, rather, nuanced to appreciate not only differing viewpoints, but also differing needs, desired outcomes and ways of seeing and responding. A person embedded deeply in a mental framework will have a hard time understanding the emotion-centred person. The person who only sees the exercise of raw vital dominance and exertion of power, cannot understand the conce
s raised by the mental- or the emotion-oriented individual. Name-calling and finger-pointing are not strategies for successful resolution, but express a basic insecurity in the power dynamic, and thus, cannot bring about a fair and balanced solution.

A new consciousness is one that can “walk in the shoes” of another individual, appreciate the core validity of that viewpoint from the other perspective, and work toward a solution that can address the basic needs, conce
s and views of the other party. It is useful to spend some time reflecting on differing viewpoints and trying to appreciate where the other party is “coming from” before one simply reacts with the normal mental, emotional or vital (or even physical) approaches. The resultant solution tends to be more harmonious, more satisfying and more stable, as it does not breed resentment of having had to either bow down to a form of vital pressure in a power dynamic, or compromise serious beliefs simply to “get along”. Eventually the party who feels oppressed will use any opportunity given in the future to overtu
or disrupt the artificial harmony of the compromise.

Sri Aurobindo notes: “This [misunderstanding between two minds] can only be cured by a change of consciousness — for when one goes into a deeper consciousness, first, one sees the cause of these things and is not troubled, — one acquires an understanding, patience and tolerance that makes one free from vexation and other reactions. If both or all grow in consciousness, then there arises a mental understanding of each other’s viewpoints which makes it easier to bring in harmony and smooth working. It is this that should be sought by the change within — to create the same harmony from outside by exterior means is not so easy, as the human mind is stiff in its perceptions and the human vital insistent on its own way of action. Let this be your main will — to grow yourself within and let the clearer and deeper consciousness come and have a goodwill for the same change to come in others so that charity and harmony may come3 in the place of friction and misunderstanding.”

Sri Aurobindo and the Mother, Looking from Within, Chapter 2, Looking at Oneself and Others, pp. 43-44