SelfGrowth.comThe Self Improvement Guide
Article

Cure for the Divorce Blues

Written by Ed Sherman, Family Law Atto ey & Divorce Expert

Topic: DivorcePublished Recently added
No ratings yet1,539 viewsSign in to rate
8 Things You Can Do to Make Any Divorce Better Divorce is enough to give anyone the blues, but based on my experience with success in over 45,000 cases I can give you the following eight tips that will definitely help make things go more smoothly and easily. Not only that, if you follow my advice you are bound to save lots of time, trouble and money on your divorce.
  1. Don’t rush into divorce while feeling desperate, angry, or emotionally pressured. You have many important decisions to make and they should be made calmly and clearly.
  2. It’s OK to use an atto ey, but don’t retain one to take over your case. You should stay in control of your divorce and your life. Because lawyers are trained in an adversarial method of practicing law, if you let them take control, conflict is bound to escalate, making things worse.
  3. Take an active role in your divorce: educate yourself about the procedures, become informed about the rules, and make your own decisions. The more involved you become, the better the outcome.
  4. Keep it simple! If one spouse gets an atto ey, the other one might too. Two atto eys start off costing just double, but soon they are writing letters, filing motions and creating conflict, which means escalating costs. Do as much as you can yourself and save on legal fees so you can send your own child to college—not some lawyer’s.
  5. Remember that fighting will not prevent a divorce, it will only make it more unpleasant and much more expensive. Use my proven techniques to calm yourself and settle things down so you can more easily and painlessly reach the agreements that you ultimately are going to make anyway.
  6. Realize that most divorce problems are not legal problems, but rather are emotional and personal problems. Neither the law nor atto eys have solutions for these types of problems. Trying to use legal tools on personal problems only makes things worse—not better.
  7. Understand that fighting parents frighten children—ask yourself if expressing your anger justifies the hurt to your child. Children learn from what you do, not what you say. By working to settle your differences and come to agreement, you teach your children that problems can be solved.
  8. Consider that the real divorce is free. It’s about ending one life and beginning another, then making it work—spiritually, emotionally and practically. Successfully meeting the emotional, physical and practical challenges is hard work, but it will lead to a better divorce and be well worth it.
I give detailed advice on how to follow these steps in my book Make Any Divorce Better. Copyright 2007 Ed Sherman nn

Article author

About the Author

Ed Sherman is a family law atto ey, divorce expert, and founder of Nolo Press. He started the self-help law movement in 1971 when he published the first edition of How to Do Your Own Divorce, and founded the paralegal industry in 1973. With more than a million books sold, Ed has saved the public billions of dollars in legal fees while making divorce go more smoothly and easily for millions of readers. You can order his books from www.nolodivorce.com or by calling (800) 464-5502.

Further reading

Further Reading

4 total

Article

Starting Over: Tips for Surviving Your Divorce

You did it. After years of trying to make it work, you've decided to call it quits. Congratulations on having the courage to choose yourself. Now the hard part begins - picking up the pieces and starting over. Divorce is messy, complicated, and often traumatic. But there is hope - you will get through this. Take a deep breath. The end of your marriage does not mean the end of your life. In fact, it's the start of an exciting new chapter where you get to rediscover who you are

July 18, 2024

Article

How Can Divorce Lawyers In India Simplify Your Divorce Process?

Divorce can be an extremely challenging and emotional experience. It is difficult enough to navigate the legalities of divorce in India, but adding another layer of difficulty by navigating them can be even more challenging. An experienced divorce atto ey's knowledge is crucial in such a situation. A divorce lawyer provides expert legal guidance to simplify the entire process. This will ensure your rights are respected, and you receive a fair settlement. In this post, we

May 31, 2024

Article

Decoding Divorce: A Comprehensive Look At The Procedure In India

Divorce is a legal process that marks the end of a marriage, and navigating its complexities can be daunting, especially in a diverse country like India, where laws vary based on religion, region, and personal circumstances. Understanding the procedure is crucial for individuals contemplating divorce or those supporting someone going through it. This article aims to provide a comprehensive overview of the divorce procedure in India, encompassing legal requirements, grounds fo

May 30, 2024

Article

Metacognitive Therapy

Metacognitive therapy is a new and various sort of therapy that has been revealed to work well especially in the therapy of anxiety and clinical depression, with initial researches revealing that two times as many people benefit from metacognitive therapy as from other treatments. Put simply, metacognitive therapy jobs incidentally we think about our ideas. This therapy can be especially valuable if we are constantly considering the past or fretting about the future. Commonly

March 8, 2024