Dad Gets A Special Day Too

As we welcome June, we honor the father in our life that has left lasting impressions—one way or another. Father's Day can be an undeclared invitation from life to reflect on the many aspects of the relationship between you and your father. Whether he is alive or has made his transition makes absolutely no difference.

This day of recognition could be used to evaluate the quality of time you spent with one of your most significant role models as you were growing up. Did you take advantage of it?

"What time," you might be asking, "He rarely devoted time to me anyhow and now that he's gone, it's a done deal."

If you carry any resentment, bitte
ess, or emptiness within you about your father's lack of presence in your life, you have work to do. If he is alive, you can attempt to create harmony by healing the wounds of the past, and complete the forgiveness process. After all, isn't it time you started to live your life approving of yourself, rather than looking to him for it?

Beliefs such as:nn* *If I keep at it, I know one day he'll approve of men* *If I do enough, maybe I'll gain his loven* *If I please him, I'll get his attention.

If these beliefs ring true for you, are they supportive to you as an adult? Do they serve you in some way? If not, change them today. Don’t put it off another day. Select a plan and marry it to your day planner, taking action steps to accomplish this project. No doubt you learned how to operate your computer and no doubt you acquire new software on a regular basis, which you need to master. Maybe you could benefit from a course to develop skills to continually market yourself or your product line, better ways to advertise and string the words together. Come on; the only thing between you and having a relationship with your father is your desire. You can do it.

Being raised by a father who was emotionally unavailable seems to be a common trait amongst many folks, especially men. That was then. This is now. Today, we have movies such as, "What the Bleep Do We Know?" and “The Secret”, which provide us with scientific research indicating that we do indeed influence our reality, as well as mass consciousness, with our thoughts. How are your thoughts affecting your reality with regard to your father? When you take that type of responsibility for your life, there is no room to blame good 'ole dad any longer for not fulfilling your pictures. You can give up blame and 'make wrong,' and own the quality of your childhood, as well as your adult years with him.

If your relationship was everything you have ever dreamed of, great. If not, the damage you are inflicting on your body due to the negative self-talk or toxic feelings is more detrimental to you than you can imagine. Give yourself the gift of forgiveness as you release the pain of the past associated with your father. Because if you don’t, something will get triggered – every time someone mentions his or her father, shares an experience about their father, or reads a story about a father. The more you ignore it the more it sits, like garbage, putrefying in the compost. Initially it smells fowl but look what can comes from it: flowers, vegetables, rich soil.

The commemoration of Father's Day may come and go, but each day, you can determine the quality of your relationship with him. One sure way is to transform your attitude from ego consciousness into soul consciousness. The last few pages of the book, Attitudes, Beliefs and Choices lists 101 shifts that can help you achieve an entirely new experience of yourself and all of your relationships, not just with your father. It simply requires an awareness and willing-ness to enrich the quality of your life. Are you up for it?

Remember, the quality of the relationship between father and child is foundational to a strong and emotionally healthy adult.