Dealing With A Partner Who Tries to Sabotage Your Diet!

My baby was bo
14 months ago and I have lost 10kg of weight, and I have a few more kilograms to lose before I am back to my pre-pregnancy weight. It has been a long journey as I realised early on that dieting and breastfeeding where in conflict, and that I had to focus on feeding my baby first. Now that my son is not relying on breast milk, I can now focus on losing the baby fat.

However, the biggest hurdle I am finding is Coby’s dad who tries very hard to sabotage my weight loss efforts. It is exhausting to have to keep saying, “No”. Although you feel very guilty and awkward, you have to keep saying, “No”, or you will never achieve your target weight.

Do any of these statements sound familiar to you?

“I really feel like sharing a pizza”
“We could get the meal deal for 2.”
“I’ll only get the chocolate egg if you share some with me”
“It is only a little bit of cake, it wont make a difference”

The problem is he has a very emotional relationship with food, while I have an unemotional one. This has made it hard for me to understand. But, to him, he is ‘being nice‘ by feeding you. And a social event for him is all about food and sharing food. So, if I refuse the chocolate cake he will take it personally; it impacts on his experience as he would never eat chocolate cake alone.

You can imagine my frustration when my fridge was stocked up with huge quantities of comfort food to help us celebrate Mother’s Day. Dealing with situations like that can be tricky. What do you do if your requests for support from your partner fall on deaf ears? Here are some ways of coping with this difficult situation:

Reassure your partner that it’s okay to eat alone – I don’t think there is anything wrong with eating alone. If you are hungry you should eat, whether other people are eating or not. To me that makes sense. However, if you are used to everyone sitting down for meals together you might not be comfortable being so independent. If you can convince your partner that he can still enjoy his food while you opt out, you are onto a winner.
Throw away foods that will hinder your progress – If your partner stocks up your fridge with food you simply shouldn’t be eating, you can give it away or throw it away. Eating the food will pull you off-track, and that is a dangerous place to be if you are trying to lose weight. If none of your friends would eat the food, you can throw it away. That sounds very wasteful, but the alte
ative is that you will fall off the weight-loss wagon.
Gain support from a weight loss professional or a friend – If you feel the support for your weight loss is rather weak from your other half, it is important to get the solid support from someone else. This should go some way at negating their sabotaging efforts, which can be very destructive. You could enlist a friend to lose weight at the same time, sharing your weight loss experience. Or you could join a weight loss group, like Weight Watchers. If you feel you need even more support, you could work with a fat loss coach one to one.
Remain resolute – It is difficult to change someone else, they have to want to change, and if they have been living like that for many many years they might never change. The only person you can change is yourself. So it is time to take charge of the situation, and prioritise your weight loss over meeting their emotional needs. You are not being rude, and have no reason to feel guilty for what goes into your mouth.

What tips would you recommend to others in a similar situation?