Dealing with Dualities

Our experience in the world is one of dualities, hot and cold, wet and dry, happy and sad, love and hate, darkness and light, etc. We recognise that we cannot have the one without the other. The Chinese symbol of In/Yang illustrates the intertwined nature of these dualities and that even in the greatest light there is a spot of darkness and vice versa.

Once we recognise the nature of life as consisting of these dualities, the question then arises as to what to do about it. We seek happiness, we seek light, we seek harmony, we seek freedom, but we are all the time confronted with unhappiness, darkness, disharmony and bondage, etc. Many people have come to the conclusion that it is not possible to have one without the other, that the price of happiness is acceptance of unhappiness as a condition on occasion. Some go so far as to say we would not appreciate the positive side of the duality without the experience of the negative side.

We can imagine and create fantasies about unmixed bliss and an existence without any of the negative poles of the dualities. Various religions have postulated heavens where the ‘elect’ or the ‘saved’ go after departure from this world, to enjoy such a state of paradise in heaven.

Whatever the status of existence is in some other place, or on some other plane, we are tasked with making sense of and responding to the conditions here in this world, this world of dualities. We thus need to determine how best to respond to those aspects we find uncomfortable or negative, as well as to understand the role they have to play in life here in the world we live in.

If we try to fight the dualities we quickly find out that we become upset, frustrated, despondent or depressed, as they cannot be eliminated from our lives. Some people preach a philosophy of stoicism whereby we condition ourselves to accept the dualities without feeling oppressed, gaining strength in our ability to withstand their impulsion. Others suggest ew can rise above them, see and experience them, but not be moved or shaken by them, so that whether we judge something to be good or bad, we can benefit from its impact on our lives.

We may find, if we look closely at our own responses to the dualities, that when we are experiencing what we judge to be positive responses, we tend to want to ‘enjoy’ them and we do not tend to make serious efforts, compared to times when we are under pressure of what we term ‘negative’ responses. It is in answer to these ‘negative’ times that we make the greatest efforts generally and thus, they become aids to our growth and progress.

Sri Aurobindo notes: “This world has a double aspect. It seems to be based on a material Inconscience and an ignorant mind and life full of that Inconscience: error and sorrow, death and suffering are the necessary consequence. But there is evidently too a partially successful endeavour and an imperfect growth towards Light, Knowledge, Truth, Good, Happiness, Harmony, Beauty, — at least a partial flowering of these things. The meaning of this world must evidently lie in this opposition; it must be an evolution which is leading or struggling towards higher things out of a first darker appearance. Whatever guidance there is must be given under these conditions of opposition and struggle and must be leading towards that higher state of things. It is leading the individual, certainly, and the world, presumably, towards the higher state, but through the double terms of knowledge and ignorance, light and darkness, death and life, pain and pleasure, happiness and suffering; none of the terms can be excluded until the higher status is reached and established. it is not and cannot be, ordinarily, a guidance which at once rejects the darker terms, still less a guidance which brings us solely and always nothing but happiness, success and good fortune. Its main conce
is with the growth of our being and consciousness, the growth towards a higher self, towards the Divine, eventually towards a higher Light, Truth and Bliss; the rest is secondary, sometimes a means, sometimes a result, not a primary purpose.”

Sri Aurobindo and the Mother, Looking from Within, Chapter 1, Looking at Life and Circumstances, pp. 24-25