Do I need a class at “Charm School” to date?

If you’re a woman over 50 coming out of a long marriage, it’s probably been a while since you’ve dated…so this might be a good time for what I like to call some “Dating Updating.” Just a few changes can take you from feeling kind of dowdy and outdated to feeling chic, confident and pretty spectacular. See it as a “feel good” investment in yourself as you begin this next chapter in your life.

But where do you start? If you have a daughter or a close friend, ask them for their honest opinion of where they think you could use some updating. We all have a tendency over time to do the same styles over and over again, never even noticing whether they are still current.

Daughters are best for this job because they won’t hold back, plus they’ll go with you and help you, which can be a lot of fun. Our adult children… thanks to “how to” cable TV… have a good sense of style and they’ll tell you if what you’re wearing is not age appropriate, as in too young or too old for you.

Begin by taking a good look at your hair. Is your cut updated yet classic? Weird hairdo’s… such as severe wedges or spikes are best left to the younger crowd. Is the color one that enhances your skin tone or does it age you by being too light or faded?

The opposite is a problem too. Dark hair can make women our age look a bit ghoulish. Even though it would be nice…Mother Nature doesn’t usually give us black hair once we’ve hit 50.

The next step is buying some great makeup to enhance your features. Check out your favorite department store counter. The makeup artists will gladly show you how great you can look using their products. You can replicate the results with less expensive makeup purchased elsewhere if you desire.

It’s important to stop here for a minute and mention that you are probably used to seeing yourself in a particular way so change can be hard to get use to. I know it takes days to not be startled looking in the mirror at a new lip color I’ve tried.

It might also help to take a friend or two with you. They aren’t attached to your old look so they’ll let you know whether or not a new look is working for you.

Shopping if you’re a shopper can be fun. I’m not a shopper and that is why the second I found out about Personal Shoppers, I found a good one to help me. Many department stores offer this as a complimentary service to their customers. If you’re not a shopper…a service like this becomes invaluable!

With her gentle pushing, I tried new styles that actually enhanced my body. I will admit the compliments were not only nice but they confirmed how much better I was beginning to feel about myself as the result of the different changes I was making.

And, I have to admit, for the first time in my life, I felt really good in what I was wearing. I no longer rummaged through my closet looking for something just right for a date. Knowing I always had a couple of nice pieces I could mix and match made a huge difference in my confidence levels.

You don't have to use a personal shopper and you don't have to shop at expensive stores to look and feel great. Browse fashion magazines or check out style shows on TV. Both will give you great ideas and tips on how to best enhance your body with clothes.

Looking great makes you feel great and when you feel great, you’re going to feel more confident as you venture into the dating world looking for the man and relationship of your dreams.