Don’t Lift Boulders for Other People

Part Two in the “Coming Into Your Own” Series Of all of the tasks, assignments and people you take care of each day, make sure you save enough energy to take care of yourself, too. In an effort to please or to feel loved or worthy, many of us put our needs on the back burner in order to accommodate the needs of other things and other people. Over time, anger will build-up. You will begin to feel resentment to all those things and people who you feel are keeping you from coming into your own. Envy and even shame will ensue. Luke Houghton understands these feelings all to well. In the following passage, Luke shares his experiences and advice on how to learn to put down the boulders that belong to other people in order to focus on what is important to him.nnRecently in a dream I found myself driving a huge crane that was lifting big boulders. To the side of the boulders were golden rocks that were just sitting there. The first thought that came to me when I woke up was… I am helping others getting work done but not doing what I need to do to make sure I continue to succeed. The gold that I have waiting to be refined is sitting there as I do backbreaking labor for others … who probably don’t care! I am doing the donkey work for others at the expense of my own work. Part of the harsh realities of life is that you must be careful in selecting what you do to help others. I believe we should be helping others because it’s part of my values however, if we do too much for others and neglect what we need to do … our opportunities to grow may be missed. How do you know you are lifting boulders for other people?nnYou have been doing something for a while and you are making no progress If you walk up a hill one step at a time you will eventually get to the top. However, if you begin to walk around in circles your destination will be the same as your starting point! Have you been doing this for a while… could be you are helping others get ahead at the neglect of yourself?nnThere is just no time for me Is this you as well? The whole idea of time for yourself is important because you are accountable for you. What I am saying is this: make time. That’s great but with all the things I am doing there is simply not enough time right? Wrong! There could be some things you are doing for others that should be pushed aside.nnPeople around me treat me like a dumping station A hallmark of finding out that you are carrying boulders for others is the amount of things people just give you to do. Now, there are some things that you should do and helping others is very important. Don’t be a dumping station… only take on those things that you know you can do without hindering your own future.nnI just can’t say no This one is a tough one. I work with a person who just can’t say no and I am much the same myself. However, if you want progress in things that are important, you must get tough. I have had to say no to some opportunities recently because it would have hindered what I was trying to achieve strategically. Learn that no is a positive way of keeping what’s important on track. When you incubate the dreams of your heart does it fill you with excitement… does it fill you with joy? Then ask yourself this question: is it worth trading what the fulfillment of that for temporary acknowledgement of others? Think for a minute… when that person gets a promotion or goes onto fulfill the goal they have how will that benefit you? That doesn’t mean that you don’t do it because it won’t help you but if it interferes it what you should be doing…then you are creating long term damage. Remember, you can help others carry boulders for you and you can help them but a sensible balance must be retained. Part of coming into your own is spending quality time building your life vision day after day… minute after minute… second after second. You can’t come into your own and do what you should if you are lifting boulders for others. Next: “Coming Into Your Own” series continues