Don't Take it Personally

I was reminded of this brilliant and powerful truth this week as the Universe gave me the opportunity to practice it up close.

I went out for lunch on my birthday and came home to find that my darling dog, Doc, had peed on my bed. In the very center of my bed, depositing enough, I might add, that it soaked through a quilt, sheet and the mattress pad.

Now Doc is a sweet, good-natured three year-old Wheaton terrier who had never ever done anything like this before. I was furious and offended and I told him so in no uncertain terms. As I was stripping the bed I was fuming. How could he do this to me and on my birthday, of all days?

I could not help but wonder if there was a deeper meaning to all this, a message from the Universe? Those of you who know me, will appreciate how just this sort of wondering can keep me occupied looking for signs for quite some time. After examining all the possibilities of what Doc may have been trying to tell me: was he sick? was he pissed at someone or something? did he get startled by a ghost? (very possible at my house - but that's another article). n
Then it came to me in a blinding flash. This was not about what Doc did, it was about my reaction to what he did. I finally got the message - don't take it personally. How I was interpreting the event was far more important that the event itself. I grant you, it was annoying - in fact, I was even a bit pissed myself. But was it worth giving away a chunk of my day by allowing myself to remain upset?

This is a simple example of exactly how we give away our power. Someone says or does something we don't like or misinterpret and BAM! we're hooked, "How could ________ (fill in the blank with the person on institution of your choice) do that to me?" Before you know it your ability to be happy has blown away and your day is ruined.

In his book "The Four Agreements" author don Miguel Ruiz talks about this as he discusses how everything we do is based on agreements we have made with ourselves, other people, the Divine, and with life. The most critical are the agreements we make with ourselves because they tell us who we are, how to behave, what is possible, and what is impossible. The guiding principle of Don't Take Anything Personally is the second of the four agreements.

The truth is that nothing others do is because of you. The actions of others are a projection of their own reality. I know this can be hard to accept, especially when you start to think about specific situations. But consider this for a moment: how might your peace of mind and happiness shift if you could begin to accept this idea and practice applying it in your daily life? n
I posted a saying on my fridge years ago that says: "It doesn't matter what other people say. What matters is how I react and what I choose to believe about myself." Smart magnet!

Working with that truth has allowed me to respond versus react when faced with more difficult circumstances than a dog with a poor choice of bladder relief targets. What about the employees in the corporate world who believe you are mean spirited or heartless? As an HR executive in the corporate world, I was in charge of delivering many painful messages to employees - from layoffs to terminations. I had to stand centered in the knowledge and truth of my divine light to do this with grace.

My Coaching Challenge for you:
I challenge you to examine where in your life does this challenge come up most often? It is friends, family, or work? Find one place where you struggle with taking things personally and apply this idea.

The next time you feel yourself offended and taking something personally, stop, take a s-l-o-w, deep breath and consider what else might be going on here? Ask yourself, "what is another perspective beyond the one I am taking right now? How willing am I to choose another point of view?"

Choosing your response versus reacting opens you up to new possibilities for freedom and true happiness. What do you have to lose?